Dec 31, 2009

Dear 2009



I still can’t believe that this year will really end so soon, like in… what? Seven hours?

This year has been a… fun one. I started blogging in littletiara blog this year, made some new friends, discovered the creative worlds, turning twenty, celebrating my birthday together with my friends’, realizing my feeling towards the best friend, went to Bali vacation, business talk, did some modeling,  lived a torturing life in the village…

Heaps of things happened this year, and thank goodness I have this blog where I can write it out to remember all those occasions.

I learned a lot, a hell lot this year.

And let’s not forget changing my layout like thousand times this year, hahaha.


So what are you going to do on the new year’s eve?

Well I’m currently still don’t know, it’s cloudy outside and I’ve been suffering from flu these two days, nose running, high temperature and sore throat, no fun. But I still want to have fun so let’s see… My mom and dad will go out after all, how can the elder spend their new year’s eve hanging out while I’m curling under the thick blanket watching some TV? No can do.

Well, maybe can do… if it’s really raining.

And I’ll celebrate this littletiara bloggyversary in two days, yes, it was born on January 2nd, and I have something in mind for you all dear friends and followers ;) so stay tuned.

And well of course, HAPPY NEW YEAR! Have a RAWR! ;P

Anyone has made a new year resolution yet?

Let’s see… Mine would be:

1. Graduating, of course
2. Get a life job, a fun one
3. Tell him (geez, you know what I mean)
4. Bake more cookies
5. Bake more cupcakes
6. Bake more
7. Make more new friends (online and offline)
8. Meet a bloggy friend
9. Create more artworks
10. write a better list

Dec 28, 2009

When it rains

I’ve always loved it when it rains, it gives me a calm sensation, makes me want to sleep (lol) and perfect for any romantic occasion, thoughts and daydreams. Listening to romantic song when it rains is one of my favorite things to do, along with… well… sleeping.

I didn’t like the rain that fell yesterday, though. Remember I was planned to meet the best friend and supposed to tell him? Rain fell soooo heavily and I just couldn’t get out of my house, nor my dad would allow me to do so. We did went to the VW jamboree though, but it's a different story. So I just sulked inside my room, trying to make some creative artworks, which surprisingly happened.

Don’t worry, I’m determined this time, so I’ll surely tell him. Probably after the new year. Sounds like a good plan, starting a new year with a broken heart, lol.

Another talk today, not so fun one; my mom entered my room (which is actually rarely happened) and asked me what I would be when I’m graduated. This question depresses me…

(one) I haven’t even done with my thesis, and to think about the final exam and all :( and my friend just texted me he will do his final tomorrow. FREAKING TOMORROW!

(two) I still don’t know, honestly, what I will work as, I don’t even want to think about it, but I have to, I guess. I thought of my online bookstore but I’m finding myself unsure about it, and selling my artwork? I still have to gain more confidence and financial bases, I don’t know what I’m gonna be and it scares me!

On a lighter note, anyone noticed the banner look a lot like my profile picture? Here’s the comparison:

My banner/header:

Untitled-7 (2)
My profile picture:

LOL. I swear I didn’t do it intentionally! I just realized it today! Meheheheh… kind of cool :d now I only need to make my header pic pout her lips, lol. I think I was concentrating about something in the computer in that photo, why do I always have to pout when I'm thinking? Gah, unattractive.

Dec 26, 2009


I woke up with my hands shaking and my body trembling all over, no, I’m not sick, neither broken hearted. One thing I know, I need to create something today. So I opened my laptop, planning to continue my story, that was until I needed to do some research about painting, so I googled and found some cool painting.

And that was how I found out what I really need to do:


Remember the best friend’s birthday is early this month? I haven’t given him anything yet, so I drew, I made something for him, the thing I’m really familiar about, my own hand-drawing.

It’s been ages since the last time I really did it, but I am glad I did it again this morning. Here’s what I come up with:

(I don’t have a scanner-really need to buy one! And this pic is still wet when I took this pic, so…)
I think I am quite satisfied with it.  I hope the best friend can appreciate art stuff, I’m not sure if he does though. lol.

Been obsessed over fireflies lately, this one is my attempt using my tablet:

Do you think, if I print it out and sell it, someone will buy it?

Dec 25, 2009

Of Christmas and love confession


Well I know the image isn’t really christmas-y. lol. But at least it has red, green and white there :)

I’m going to  (hopefully) meet him today, and (hopefully again) will have enough courage to tell him how I’m feeling. I’ll tell you the details later, how it went and all, honestly though, I am not sure if I’ll do it. But I am left with no chance, I think I’ll just tell and go, and no, not kiss and tell.

But maybe if I’m lucky I can wish for tell and kiss and go. lol.

But (again), this is what I think will happen:

1. We’re gonna have a random talk: Talk and talk and talk more about random stuff.
2. …
3. That’s all folks. Only random stuff.

next thing happened would be me blogging about how coward-ish I am but how I am still feel so grateful that we can meet today and blah blah blah the excuse.

I am so predictable, not cool.

You all know how many times I’ve done it already. How many times I’ve drawn myself from telling him, heck, I’ve said it since… early this year, and now? Man! We’re nearing the end of 2009 already!

So I’m going to grab all my nerves and anxiety and yell at him,


It’s annoying, torturing, and yet still can put a smile on my face, it’s crazy!

It’s crazy how I know I have no slightest chance but I keep on loving you, it’s crazy how I waste my days daydreaming about you, it’s crazy how sweaty my palm can be every single time I hold my cell phone to call you… (to be continued)”

That sounds good, but I’m not sure if I can do it… (maybe I’ll just ask him to read this post, that'd be enough, lol)

*sigh* so let’s see what kind of story I’ll tell you by Monday, or Sunday if you’re lucky.

But hey, I still want to wish you the merriest christmas of all! :D


Dec 22, 2009

Do you like it?


testing out the new layout

it seems to have a problem with ‘enter’ button, ah… a little troublesome but I’ll fix them all soon. (or at least the ones in the front page :P) I love making it look so personalized, that’s why I still try to fix it; usually I am a very picky person, yes, picky and lazy person.

This time though, I’m gonna try to make things look good, although I’m pretty sure I’ll later change the layout again (or at the very least the header).

In other news, my mom bought me an electric oven yesterday, and I’m meeting the best friend this weekend, I promised him to bring one thing I baked, any idea? A simple one?

I’m giving myself the last chance this time; if I still can’t use it properly I’ll just force my heart and brain to forget about me and his happy ending, I’ve given myself too much chances, I shouldn’t wait forever for one guy.

ps: I'm so in love with this new layout! I especially love my personalized header, right, I made it myself and I am proud of it, really proud of it. I should add to my 2o1o resolution to not change layout for at least a year, really. It's a part of my identity!

Dec 21, 2009

Silly little game


Let’s play a silly little musical game. lol. I found this game long time ago, and re-found it yesterday. For a moment, I forgot how fun this silly game can be.

All you have to do is to set your music player (winamp/windows media player/iTunes/whatever) in shuffle and put all your songs there. And use the title of the song to answer these questions, lol.


Hot ‘N cold – Katy Perry

So… it depends, I think


Thinking of you – ATC

My personality is always thinking of you?? o.o


Symphatique (je ne veux pas travailler)/ I don’t want to do anything

Ah! So true! I don’t wanna do anything, lol.


Me love – Sean Kingston

Does it have something to do with my romanticism? lol.


Two of us – Virginalness Bloom

So I want us to be together, that’s my life purpose? Kind of sweet…


Empty – The click five

So they don't think anything about me or they think I’m empty or what?


To be with you – Mr. Big

Man! Even my playlist become a romantic! D:


I believe in you and me

Yes, I believe in me and them… good answer, lol.


Someone Somewhere – Jason Reeves

He must be someone, somewhere… or he must realize that someone somewhere likes him



A beautiful mess - Jason Mraz



Stop and Stare – One republic

So I want to stop and stare at my past? And what?


Cave in – Owl city

LMFAO! Yes yes, I go cave in, duh.


You're still the one - Shania Twain

Sweetness! ;) I have a brilliant playlist :P


Clockwatching - Jason Mraz

o.0 I love watching the clock?


Walk Away – Ben Harper



In love with the DJ – Cassie

So they’re all in love with the DJ, hmm…


Lost – Coldplay

Kind of true, right?


Nostradamus – Maksim

You know, that creep from long time ago who predicts about the end of the world? He’s creepy.


Ray gun – The bird and the Bee

Apparently I’m a sadist? :P


Summer of 69 - Bryan adams

I regret of not being born back then? lol.


The older I get – Skillet

Haha, okay.


A lover’s concerto – Kelly Chen

Whatever that means, I take it as a yes :P


We are golden – Mika

Who? Me or my parents are golden? Or us all? lololol.


Sexymassive blackhole - Muse vs Justin timberlake

Mwhaha, I sound dangerous!


Butterfly Kisses – Westlife

o.o I’m afraid of butterfly kisses? NO WAY! I love it!


Oxygen - Colbie Caillat

Hmm… as if I could


Anybody There – The script

lol. xD

Anyone wants to join the fun? lol.

Dec 15, 2009

Have you ever…

Tripped on a durian?

Wait, what? You don’t know what durian is???

it is this fruit.


Last night I tripped on it, and it was painful. LOOK! It’s all spiky! And tripped on it was really… painful, if that even a right word to express the pain. I think tripping on a durian would likely be tripping on a hedgehog.

But of course tripping on a durian is better, because it tastes good (if you eat it on a right amount, not too much…).

I love the fact that durian is one huge fruit that one shouldn’t eat it by themselves, thus whenever my dad buy this fruit me and my mom will join, like a small family gathering to eat this fruit. You know, it’s getting rare for us the get the chance to sit together and eat something and chat.

Have you ever eat durian? Do you like it? *grins* it is forbidden in some places, though. Because of its strong smell. It even once be a challenge in fear factor! Lmfao, if I were one of the contestant I was sure I would win the game! Haha… but then my dad would beat me. He loves durian more than I do.

So Mr. Durian, I forgave you, but later step put of the way, please. It’s still painful to trip on you after all.

p.s. lol, what kind of a nonsensical post is it?

Dec 14, 2009

My favorites

Jessica Leigh again gave me an award, this time it’s a “You’re a Gem” award.


The rules is to name seven things I love, get ready because I have a feeling this is gonna be a long long post, prepare your cup of coffee (or tea, or coke, whatever) and snacks ;)

A. Art

Of course I love art, and to say that I am a greedy girl towards art is an understatement, I yearn for them all, especially visual art. I am one easily inspired girl, every time I visit etsy, I got inspired. I don’t want to buy them, I want to know how to make them. Here goes some of my favorite illustrator.

1. Dionne

This one sweet blogger friend of mine does a very adorable illustration. I love how her artworks are sweet and delicate, maybe affected by her love towards desserts?

Balloon Peacock

When I found her blog and saw her artwork I wanted to learn how to draw using Tablet, so a few weeks after that, I bought myself a wacom bamboo fun. We have different styles, though- of course. Mine can never be so detailed like hers. Later on when she opened her etsy store I had to try my best not to buy all her stuffs, lol. Or else I’d ended up being a poor little girl surrounded with pretty pictures from Dionne. Haha.

2. Amy Sol

She’s one very talented artist I found few days ago through weheartit, her artworks have this serene and dreamy feeling all over, I love them!

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See how soft the color is? And how pretty the girls are, and just how strong the dreamy effect it brings. Ahh… pretty suffs.

3. Lauren Alexander

I found her etsy first, and fell for all her works, they are cute and vibrant and lively and colorful, just the way I like it!


I know you all agree that her works are one of the cutest you’ve ever seen. She’s a water color painter, and I was like “Shoot! Of all things, why must it be water color?”. I know how to draw using pastels, crayon, spidols, wacom, and all… but my water color artworks are the worst. Nonetheless, my curiosity won, I bought a set of water color today, and to say that my artwork is good isn’t a right work, but at least it satisfied me, and it makes me want to learn more :)

4. Nancy Zhang

My friend, Nanette is her fan on lookbook, she showed me her page and I instantly fell for her, not only she has a cute style, she draws herself in her outfit for crying out loud! D:

magician small peachblossom copy

But I know I can’t follow her path, our style is just too different, so I’ll just keep on adoring her from afar, hahaha. I sounded like a girl talking about her crush xD

B. Panda


I’ve said it many times, I believe, that I want to own a Panda bear, lol. Just look at how cute they are in pictures.

a lonesome little panda deep in thoughts

tumblr_kt84orLO261qzrna8o1_500_largehaving fun all by himself ;)

and of course, the infamous panda pose…

20081204055010 xD (I feel guilty laughing over this but it’s just TOO FUNNY!)

C. Necklaces

1. Miniature

I love mini sized things, especially when they’re then become a necklace, lol. Like this cute Red Abascus Necklace or this camera – silver plate pendant

il_430xN.108562099 il_430xN.110128443

2. Round/circle

I have special interest towards the shape round, maybe because they say not to put your love in heart for heart can be broken but put it in a circle that it’s never end? I fell instantly for this necklace

il_430xN.109727201 il_430xN.109728321

3. Initial T

Just to show you how much in love I am with myself, I can never get enough of this letter T as my intial :P

il_430xN.95322428 il_430xN.109342120

letterpress necklace, Vintage Typewriter Key Pendant Necklace

D. My family and friends


Isn’t it obvious that everyone loves their friends? I mean, I can never imagine living with nobody around you to share story to, to be a shoulder to cry on, or just to go doing some stupid stuff with.

I don’t think I should blabber about how much I love you all dear blogger friends, right? I’ve said it many times and I don’t want it to lose its charm ;) you know I love you.

E. Tech stuffs

I won’t deny it, I’m a sucker for anything high tech, I am always tempted to buy the newest series of cellphone and or anthing high tech in particular. lol. These are some things I want to buy at this moment:


fuji Instax mini 7s white

this instant camera is just too cute to resist, and everyone should’ve known that I am such a sucker for anything cute, and it’s available in white color too! I am always curious at how fun instant pictures slash Polaroid can be, aaah the temptation!



Well, I know I have my vaio already but I just can’t get enough. I always want new things, and this huge screened iMac seems so… (again) tempting.

167964-vaio_netbook_01_slidevaio netbook P series

Ah my Goodness! This is what we call greed! I already have my vaio laptop but then I saw this vaio netbook and I want it too! It’s cute, and small, and light, and is available in many colors, I prefer the white one, though.

F. Myself

And to show you how I love myself, I’ll write a letter, inspired by Nikolett’s post here. Little letters to each part of my body.

Dear brain,

Please don’t listen to heart too often, my heart is an idiot lately. And please, do well in the exam I beg you.

Dear Hair,

Can you please stop falling down? I’ll be bald in no time if you keep doing it, and I wouldn’t be pretty bald.

Dear mouth,

I love your frankness, wittiness, and honesty, keep it going. I love you <3

Dear nose,

Just don’t stop breathing, yet. Hehe…

Dear neck,

I love how long you are, I do love you.

Dear chest,

Please do grow up more, I’m twenty for heaven’s sake and your size is like those twelve years old girls’, *sigh. But it’s okay, those models have theirs small after all, and most importantly, I love you anyway-any way :)

Dear hands,

I love you, keep writing, drawing, and pinching people around us! Haha… long live Tiara’s hands! *claps*

Dear tummy,

You’re perfectly shaped, I love you. Mwahaha.

Dear butts,

I know I don’t look like I care much about you, it’s because it’s a little bit harder looking at you, lol. I have to twist my body and all, but I hope you know I do love you too.

Dear legs,

I know you’re not perfectly shaped and long like all those supermodels’, but thank you for always keep me standing :) (okay, not always standing but… you know what I mean, right?)

Dear heart,

Please, just make up your mind. Yes or No, to be or not to be that’s the question, what took you so long picking the answer? tsk.

Okay, I know the rule said to list seven things I love but I think I just cheated, haha… and I tag all my reader to do this, because yes dear, you are as precious as Gem :)

and you know what? This is my 100th post! FINALLY! Hahaha… :D

Dec 11, 2009

Let’s call it super photoshoot

Remember one day I had a photo shoot? Yes yes, these ones…

It’s not a secret that me and my friends love being photographed, and we’ve had lots of random photo session experience, please notice I said random.

Yesterday, my friend’s boyfriend who is currently learning photography asked us to be his model, just because we said to him we want to take picture like this one:


This pic is kinda cute, right?

So of course we agreed! Yay! And we planned on everything like where we should take the pictures (apparently we don’t want to make it indoor, so we’re looking for some wide grass fields), the properties (like those tulle the girls used) etc etc etc.

And few nights ago I chatted with the ‘photographer’ and we were talking about boys, I asked him to get me some cute boys (lol, really) and here goes the conversation…

him: oh, don’t worry, when we’re doing the photoshoot there’ll be lots of boys, I’ve invited my friends from the photography clas


me: Oh, really? Lots of them?

him: Yep, about 50, I think…

What the…

Fifty… no FIFTY freaking photographers?!

and later on he said again, “but maybe not all of them is coming, maybe only 20 of them…”

and what’s the difference between FIFTY and TWENTY? Someone please tell me, because I still can’t differentiate it.

Imagine twenty photographers with their freaking twenty lens shooting right at you and your friends who are helplessly faking laugh and smile in the middle of a wide prairie.

Dear blogger friends, be proud, because now one of your blog buddy is a super model, like… SUPER model. lol.

Screw Naomi Campbell, Claudia Schiffer, and Cyndi Crawford, little tiara is coming your way.

I think I’m going crazy.

Dec 9, 2009

my little secret – Asian craze

I’ve decided to share you more about me, lol. So if you’re a stalker and/or my secret admirer, here comes your answer, I’ll tell you my (dirty) little secrets.

I can’t promise to make it weekly/monthly, though. You all should know that I’m not really good in keeping promises, needless to say being in a commitment. (now, that’s one of my dirty little secrets!) I love to disappear and reappear as I wish, but maybe just maybe I really should start practicing being committed on doing something regularly.

let's call it little secrets.

Here’s my first little secret not so many people knows about. Let’s start it with something not so shocking, or else I’d lost all my readers knowing the true self of this cute little tiara girl. (did I just self-proclaim myself cute? LMFAO!)

I am an Asian obsessed girl


I always believe that in my previous life (you know, before I reincarnated to be an Indonesian), I was a Chinese. I still strongly believe it until now. Please, don’t ask me where did I get the idea, I just feel it. Or at last, it would explain my secret love for anything Asian. Right, Asia the continent is too big for me to be obsessed about, so by Asian here I mean Chinese/Taiwanese/Japanese/Korean.

This lead to my interest towards Asian guys, mwawaha… remember one day I posted a story about me falling for a Japanese guy? And let’s not forget that the best friend is Indonesian, yes, means Asian :P

So I stalk Asian forums, read Asian celeb articles, watch Asian dramas, listen to Asian songs (despite the fact that I don’t understand a word of the lyric), adore some of those good looking Asian entertainers, and I proudly tell you that I have a folder filled with those Asian goodies.

Oh, I even read some Asian fan fictions.

No, wait… I even write some Asian fan fictions!

And just so I can understand some Asian dramas which has no subtitle on it, I learned Mandarin, not that I’m really good on it but at least now I can understand a little (plus reading their facial expression and spoiler from here and there).

Oh, and my friend taught me how to read Korean alphabet, it’s pretty easy to read, but the grammar… Eww… not to mention the pronunciation. I always adore those Korean rappers who raps in Korean lol.

I think I’m just that obsessed, really.

What? You want to know what Asian stuff I’ve been stalking recently?

It’s a Taiwan drama series titled ‘Momo Love’, adapted from a Japanese manga about Tao Hua, a girl who’s never been in a relationship because of her FIVE overprotective brothers always got rid of those boys who ever wants to get close to her, they want the boys to be perfect; can cook, good looking (lol), healthy, smart, etc etc just like they think they are. Until one day she fell in love with Shi Lang, someone who can be considered up to the brothers’ standard.


the main leads; Cyndi Wang as Tao Hua and Jiro Wang as Shi Lang

The first episode, english subbed. I chose this second part, just to show you how scary the brothers can be, and lookie! Love at first sight scene! :D

So, do you want to join the game? Share me us your little secrets! :P


Dec 8, 2009

Yeay! :D

if you were about to read littletiara blog, yes you're on the right site. I've just changed my layout again. I've missed the feeling of coding so... yeah, I changed this layout a little here and there but my time is limited, I wanted to change the whole layout actually, make it a little bit more me, I'll just do it soon, I guess.

Here are some newest news from me:

1. I just deleted, no, deactivated my facebook account, so Dionne, Sarah and Abby, if you can't find me in facebook that doesn't mean I deleted you, I've just deleted myself, lol. Privacy issue girls, I hate it when people starts thinking and gossiping just based on what they see in our facebook status, blah.

2. I changed my layout, obviously, lol.

3. The exams are drawing near and I don't like it a bit, lol. Whatever, I just have to pass it, right? Just like any other exams in my previous life. haha.

4. Anyone have a plan on what to do on new year? Or has anyone make a resolution yet? Mine is of course including get graduated, my goals hasn't changed since forever, ugh.

5. I lost my windows life writer and I hate it, and that should be one reason why I blog a little less often than I used to, I have a lot in mind but I like it to write on WLW first :( I think I need to re-install it ASAP.

6. I'll be off for shopping some new shoes (yay!) and go to a beauty saloon right after I post this one, so everyone, have a nice day! :D

Dec 6, 2009

I'm here! I'm here!

So I disappeared yes. I just had too much things to handle, lol. But now I'm back, for good, I think :P

Not really in the mood to make a detailed story, I'll just do make one of my favorite thing; list, yeah. Hahaha...

1. The living in the village had finally over, say “yay” with me! Lol. At least the suffering things had gone away, haha.

2. I went to my high school friend's wedding yesterday, with my classmates including the best friend, and he was a little bit more touchy than he usually is yesterday, don't ask me why, ask him. Lol. I'm not gonna lie, I loved it :P

3. It's his birthday tomorrow and I still don't know what to give, I think I'll just ask him out adventuring the city if the weather is good, he's busy managing his shop, though. (remember that he wanted to open a shop? So he apparently made a sandwich shop, he gave up baking cookies, lol.).

4. He asked me out! Not like this is a big thing since we usually randomly hanging out, but he asked me out to a VW parade!!! Which practically means three of my favorite things jumbled up together; riding my favorite car around my favorite city with my favorite boy! Oh oh oh, I still can't help smiling imagining this. Haha..

What else to say here? Hmm... Oh, since the stressing time (read: village life) had passed, I think I'm getting a lot of inspiration, got a bunch of writing ideas and also drawing ideas, ahh... now life is quite wonderful eh? Although yes, I still have to finish my thesis, uh-oh! I have to finish uni by 2010!

Nov 28, 2009

When I'm stronger

I have this hobby to read online stories, and once upon a day I found a story titled "My best friend's lover", in the end of the story, the author gave us this little letter. which I found touching, as touching as a letter can be, maybe because I can really relate to it.


Someday, I want to be able to write this letter and send it to whoever wins the best friend's heart in the end.

Hello (insert a girl name here),

I can see lately you & my best bud are having a great time together. In fact, my special friend has forgotten to call me or just to say hi and hellos because my special friend has you now. No big deal, I'm prepared, I expected that this would happen. That one day I'll lose my special friend along the way.

I just want to tell you that my special friend is the kind who seems to be so tough on the outside, yet with a soft heart inside. When something bothers my special friend, my special friend won't tell it to you directly. Instead, you have to be sensitive enough to feel the doubts and insecurities and everything my special friend hides within. A little encouraging talk would be nice, but my special friend would surely appreciate it when you'll do the listener's part and share your comments occasionally.

My special friend may not be so showy when jealous or when has "tampo" but you should understand it. You shouldn't do things that might hurt my special friend feelings 'coz I'll be the first one to feel the pain. My special friend let you feel the love in little ways and you should appreciate it as a lover because I know my special friend love you so much. My special friend likes everything to be simple, so he does things in a very modest way but it all flows out from his heart that's why it always turns out to be special.

Some of my special friend's ideas may seem weird but there's a saying that goes, "when you love someone, you should accept his totality." If you can't stand my special friend anymore, just tell my special friend to call me, I'd be happy to listen to my special friend's ideas.

I need not to explain to you why I'm doing this, I hope sure you know why. If you only knew that I love my special friend so much. Not that I blame you, my special friend's really a catch. I just hope that now that you have my special friend in your life, you will not take my special friend for granted nor try to hurt my special friend's feelings. Please make it feel that you value my special friend so much. Make yourself available whenever my special friend needs someone to talk to. I know you wouldn't do things that would hurt my special friend but in case you do, if you hurt my special friend's feelings, please tell my special friend you're sorry. Don't let your conversations end with hate and anger.

I love my special friend so much. When my special friend excitedly told me that the two of you were already comfortable with each other, I decided to stay away from my special friend 'coz I know my special friend has to focus more on you. You shouldn't worry anymore about my presence 'coz I have decided to give way.

Please bestow my special friend with all the love that you can give, because my special friend deserves that. That's all I can ask.

Yours truly

That, when I finally get to let him go.

p.s. and no, that wasn't me who created the letter, I don't know who is, I found it online via a story. If it's you, do tell me so I can credit you.

p.p.s. OH NO! I've turned this post out to be an extremely desperate sounded one, tsk.

Nov 22, 2009

Love moves in a mysterious way

I finally get a chance to sneak up and post something! Haha :)

photo found via weheartit

So, how's everyone's life? Mine? Oh well... my life has never been any messier but come to think of it, this is something I need to learn, sooner or later I will have to face this kind of obstacle in life. Life doesn't always go our way anyway, and it miraculously feel good to know that I can accept this hardness in life, it makes me feel somewhat... wiser and more mature.

I tend to runaway from the problems I have to face, whether by not caring about it or to leave it as it is, or to cry my heart out as if it will end every problem I have to face, but now I know that I am stronger. I know I will survive, no matter how badly treated I am (or in this case me and my friends are) in the village, knowing that I still have friends to share stories to, have my mommy and daddy who will always support me no matter what, have you all blogger friends, whom I never met before (but will someday, really) who gives me strength more than I can ever imagine from someone who doesn't know me personally, makes me feel strong and sure that I or rather we will survive.

I went to campus today, and it made me feel good, haha... what a surprise, really, like never before. Seeing my friends, the juniors and profs, and even talking to the canteen chef brightened up my day, it's wonderful how I can seek some positive things when the world seems to be crumpled down into a messy messy pool.

And I took public bus today, well... I was in the mood for some random adventure, there and then, people were so friendly to me, the old man who sat beside me even asked me some questions; like where I live and what's my name, and in return he told me his story, he was a teacher, and English teacher, and we talked in English during the trip, too bad it didn't last long.
Other people in the bus were being so friendly too, the woman who sat beside me too asked me where am I studying, and the older woman in front of me shouted "be careful, have a nice day!" when I was about to step out of the bus.

Isn't it wonderful?

People don't really need reason to be nice, really. They had, unknowingly, turned a little girl's life that's been messy lately a little brighter :) and she's so thankful for it.
And you guys are, too, one of those little secret God saved for me, to make me smile always, to keep me stay strong.

I think they thought I was a junior high school student as today I wore a cute red baby dolls.
and a backpack.

I've been a little too busy lately, and I know I'll be even more busier as it approaches December, the festival and all, would anyone guest blogging here? If you are interested, do kindly leave me a comment here providing me your email or just send me an email to

Nov 15, 2009

For a brighter day

Thank you all for your ideas in the previous post, for those who still want to share me some ideas, go ahead and comment in the previous post.

I finally changed my header again! After a long while, right? I just had some free time yesterday and thought that maybe just maybe the previous header was too childish, so I changed it, not much of a change, I think. duh lol.

And when I was making this new header I realized how picky I am, I spent hours only to look for the perfect font, and FYI I have kike 437835795739 fonts in this dear lappy, lol, so… yeah. Choosing colors and all took longer, making the little details was the fastest, I made them this morning and I think it turned out quite good, kind of princess looking, spoiled and girly, ha!

What else to say here? My days are quite better now, haha… because now the festival we’re gonna held is coming closer we’re all busy and have no time to bitching around whatsoever, that’s kind of good, I think. Haha… because willing or not, I am forced to work with them, and vice versa.

I am still a peace lover no matter what.


I still haven’t met the best friend again yet but that’s not really a problem because we text one another almost everyday, and even when we’re not texting each other it doesn’t really matter, I’m not that much affected by him anymore. I just always need him to be around, I think.

I was wondering if in the future I have my own hubby and he has his wife, will I still be this attached to him? I mean, as a friend, whom I need to always be there. It’ll be good if I have a have not so possessive hubby, but what if I do? Hmm…

Oh! I remember having a self confidence crisis few days ago. I looked around the blogsphere and realized how cool my bloggy friends are.

Claradevi was just featured on Gogirl! Indonesia, while I am always only a reader. Andhari, as you all know is one fine rapper cum soon to be graduated law student, a year older than me yet so much steps ahead of me, Katie’s carefree life is one of the thing I aim, and she’s only two years older than me, can I make it when I’m twenty two like her now? Dionne, the awfully creative and friendly who happily married to her best friend can sell her artworks, will I be able to use my own creativity to make things more useful like she does?

Those were only some of them, I am not intended to make a long list of envious words, that’ll make me sounds worse.

Of course I envy them, but that’s not entirely a bad thing, they inspired me to move on, to dig my brain and find my treasured skill, watching them succeeded makes me want to gain the same, thus, don’t feel bad you all girls, I don’t hate you, I’m just jealous, lololol.

Isn’t blogsphere wonderful? :D

Nov 8, 2009

I need an idea or ideas

The best friend's birthday is coming in a month! And I still have no idea of what to do slash give to him on his birthday. Can anyone of you give me one or two, please? Be it by commenting here or by sending me an email to my I'm desperately need ideas, lol.

Last year was the muffin thing. This year shouldn't be muffin again.

And oh, I'd rather do something to him than giving him something because knowing him for about five years... he always tells me that I shouldn't think of money too much, when I asked him whatever to give my brother for his birthday he said "gives him a simple love and care". Now that was idealistic. lol.

What? Yes I heard you tell me to just give him love and care, and how? tell me please. duh.

Nov 6, 2009

Blogging thru phone, hoho.. Can't write too long,though. And of course pardon all grammatical mistakes.

Still at the village but i think it's beginning to get better :) i'm currently residing in one of the villager's house with all my friends here, yep yep together with the boys and without the annoying b*tch haha.. =p boys are always more fun to be around, really. They even taught me how to play poker! Haha.. =p

and in a month time will hold a festival here, guess what? Yep yep, i've successfully invited the best friend to come visit me here! Yay! =D


Nov 2, 2009

Oh my mommy!

She’s so adorable! Haha.


My auntie was going to Mecca last week, to go hajj, well… if you want to know, it’s something what we Muslim do, and she asked me if I want her to pray me on something, well… actually I’ve written a page of prayer list, lol. Like graduating soon and get an enjoyable job.

That was it until my mom asked, “don’t you want to get together with TBF (read: The best friend)?”

and there I was speechless.

As far as I knew, I thought my mom only thought that me and the best friend were only best friends (which practically was right, lol), so how the hell did she find it out? I don’t know.

And it is concluded, she has chosen the future son in law for herself, yes yes my dear best friend, you’re kinda doomed. lol.


and how long has it been since the last time I talked about him? Oh I actually miss this kind of topic! :P and I miss him too, I have to say, damnit, almost a month since the last time I saw him in person. *pouts*

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