Nov 28, 2009

When I'm stronger

I have this hobby to read online stories, and once upon a day I found a story titled "My best friend's lover", in the end of the story, the author gave us this little letter. which I found touching, as touching as a letter can be, maybe because I can really relate to it.


Someday, I want to be able to write this letter and send it to whoever wins the best friend's heart in the end.

Hello (insert a girl name here),

I can see lately you & my best bud are having a great time together. In fact, my special friend has forgotten to call me or just to say hi and hellos because my special friend has you now. No big deal, I'm prepared, I expected that this would happen. That one day I'll lose my special friend along the way.

I just want to tell you that my special friend is the kind who seems to be so tough on the outside, yet with a soft heart inside. When something bothers my special friend, my special friend won't tell it to you directly. Instead, you have to be sensitive enough to feel the doubts and insecurities and everything my special friend hides within. A little encouraging talk would be nice, but my special friend would surely appreciate it when you'll do the listener's part and share your comments occasionally.

My special friend may not be so showy when jealous or when has "tampo" but you should understand it. You shouldn't do things that might hurt my special friend feelings 'coz I'll be the first one to feel the pain. My special friend let you feel the love in little ways and you should appreciate it as a lover because I know my special friend love you so much. My special friend likes everything to be simple, so he does things in a very modest way but it all flows out from his heart that's why it always turns out to be special.

Some of my special friend's ideas may seem weird but there's a saying that goes, "when you love someone, you should accept his totality." If you can't stand my special friend anymore, just tell my special friend to call me, I'd be happy to listen to my special friend's ideas.

I need not to explain to you why I'm doing this, I hope sure you know why. If you only knew that I love my special friend so much. Not that I blame you, my special friend's really a catch. I just hope that now that you have my special friend in your life, you will not take my special friend for granted nor try to hurt my special friend's feelings. Please make it feel that you value my special friend so much. Make yourself available whenever my special friend needs someone to talk to. I know you wouldn't do things that would hurt my special friend but in case you do, if you hurt my special friend's feelings, please tell my special friend you're sorry. Don't let your conversations end with hate and anger.

I love my special friend so much. When my special friend excitedly told me that the two of you were already comfortable with each other, I decided to stay away from my special friend 'coz I know my special friend has to focus more on you. You shouldn't worry anymore about my presence 'coz I have decided to give way.

Please bestow my special friend with all the love that you can give, because my special friend deserves that. That's all I can ask.

Yours truly

That, when I finally get to let him go.

p.s. and no, that wasn't me who created the letter, I don't know who is, I found it online via a story. If it's you, do tell me so I can credit you.

p.p.s. OH NO! I've turned this post out to be an extremely desperate sounded one, tsk.

Nov 22, 2009

Love moves in a mysterious way

I finally get a chance to sneak up and post something! Haha :)

photo found via weheartit

So, how's everyone's life? Mine? Oh well... my life has never been any messier but come to think of it, this is something I need to learn, sooner or later I will have to face this kind of obstacle in life. Life doesn't always go our way anyway, and it miraculously feel good to know that I can accept this hardness in life, it makes me feel somewhat... wiser and more mature.

I tend to runaway from the problems I have to face, whether by not caring about it or to leave it as it is, or to cry my heart out as if it will end every problem I have to face, but now I know that I am stronger. I know I will survive, no matter how badly treated I am (or in this case me and my friends are) in the village, knowing that I still have friends to share stories to, have my mommy and daddy who will always support me no matter what, have you all blogger friends, whom I never met before (but will someday, really) who gives me strength more than I can ever imagine from someone who doesn't know me personally, makes me feel strong and sure that I or rather we will survive.

I went to campus today, and it made me feel good, haha... what a surprise, really, like never before. Seeing my friends, the juniors and profs, and even talking to the canteen chef brightened up my day, it's wonderful how I can seek some positive things when the world seems to be crumpled down into a messy messy pool.

And I took public bus today, well... I was in the mood for some random adventure, there and then, people were so friendly to me, the old man who sat beside me even asked me some questions; like where I live and what's my name, and in return he told me his story, he was a teacher, and English teacher, and we talked in English during the trip, too bad it didn't last long.
Other people in the bus were being so friendly too, the woman who sat beside me too asked me where am I studying, and the older woman in front of me shouted "be careful, have a nice day!" when I was about to step out of the bus.

Isn't it wonderful?

People don't really need reason to be nice, really. They had, unknowingly, turned a little girl's life that's been messy lately a little brighter :) and she's so thankful for it.
And you guys are, too, one of those little secret God saved for me, to make me smile always, to keep me stay strong.

I think they thought I was a junior high school student as today I wore a cute red baby dolls.
and a backpack.

I've been a little too busy lately, and I know I'll be even more busier as it approaches December, the festival and all, would anyone guest blogging here? If you are interested, do kindly leave me a comment here providing me your email or just send me an email to

Nov 15, 2009

For a brighter day

Thank you all for your ideas in the previous post, for those who still want to share me some ideas, go ahead and comment in the previous post.

I finally changed my header again! After a long while, right? I just had some free time yesterday and thought that maybe just maybe the previous header was too childish, so I changed it, not much of a change, I think. duh lol.

And when I was making this new header I realized how picky I am, I spent hours only to look for the perfect font, and FYI I have kike 437835795739 fonts in this dear lappy, lol, so… yeah. Choosing colors and all took longer, making the little details was the fastest, I made them this morning and I think it turned out quite good, kind of princess looking, spoiled and girly, ha!

What else to say here? My days are quite better now, haha… because now the festival we’re gonna held is coming closer we’re all busy and have no time to bitching around whatsoever, that’s kind of good, I think. Haha… because willing or not, I am forced to work with them, and vice versa.

I am still a peace lover no matter what.


I still haven’t met the best friend again yet but that’s not really a problem because we text one another almost everyday, and even when we’re not texting each other it doesn’t really matter, I’m not that much affected by him anymore. I just always need him to be around, I think.

I was wondering if in the future I have my own hubby and he has his wife, will I still be this attached to him? I mean, as a friend, whom I need to always be there. It’ll be good if I have a have not so possessive hubby, but what if I do? Hmm…

Oh! I remember having a self confidence crisis few days ago. I looked around the blogsphere and realized how cool my bloggy friends are.

Claradevi was just featured on Gogirl! Indonesia, while I am always only a reader. Andhari, as you all know is one fine rapper cum soon to be graduated law student, a year older than me yet so much steps ahead of me, Katie’s carefree life is one of the thing I aim, and she’s only two years older than me, can I make it when I’m twenty two like her now? Dionne, the awfully creative and friendly who happily married to her best friend can sell her artworks, will I be able to use my own creativity to make things more useful like she does?

Those were only some of them, I am not intended to make a long list of envious words, that’ll make me sounds worse.

Of course I envy them, but that’s not entirely a bad thing, they inspired me to move on, to dig my brain and find my treasured skill, watching them succeeded makes me want to gain the same, thus, don’t feel bad you all girls, I don’t hate you, I’m just jealous, lololol.

Isn’t blogsphere wonderful? :D

Nov 8, 2009

I need an idea or ideas

The best friend's birthday is coming in a month! And I still have no idea of what to do slash give to him on his birthday. Can anyone of you give me one or two, please? Be it by commenting here or by sending me an email to my I'm desperately need ideas, lol.

Last year was the muffin thing. This year shouldn't be muffin again.

And oh, I'd rather do something to him than giving him something because knowing him for about five years... he always tells me that I shouldn't think of money too much, when I asked him whatever to give my brother for his birthday he said "gives him a simple love and care". Now that was idealistic. lol.

What? Yes I heard you tell me to just give him love and care, and how? tell me please. duh.

Nov 6, 2009

Blogging thru phone, hoho.. Can't write too long,though. And of course pardon all grammatical mistakes.

Still at the village but i think it's beginning to get better :) i'm currently residing in one of the villager's house with all my friends here, yep yep together with the boys and without the annoying b*tch haha.. =p boys are always more fun to be around, really. They even taught me how to play poker! Haha.. =p

and in a month time will hold a festival here, guess what? Yep yep, i've successfully invited the best friend to come visit me here! Yay! =D


Nov 2, 2009

Oh my mommy!

She’s so adorable! Haha.


My auntie was going to Mecca last week, to go hajj, well… if you want to know, it’s something what we Muslim do, and she asked me if I want her to pray me on something, well… actually I’ve written a page of prayer list, lol. Like graduating soon and get an enjoyable job.

That was it until my mom asked, “don’t you want to get together with TBF (read: The best friend)?”

and there I was speechless.

As far as I knew, I thought my mom only thought that me and the best friend were only best friends (which practically was right, lol), so how the hell did she find it out? I don’t know.

And it is concluded, she has chosen the future son in law for herself, yes yes my dear best friend, you’re kinda doomed. lol.


and how long has it been since the last time I talked about him? Oh I actually miss this kind of topic! :P and I miss him too, I have to say, damnit, almost a month since the last time I saw him in person. *pouts*

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