have a nice day

I am currently at home, for abut four hours only. Away from the village gives me good and peaceful feeling, I can’t believe that I actually hate it that much but yeah that’s the fact. This is scary and a little bit crazy but I have to live the life anyway so that’s what I’m doing, more so, it’s a phase, for me to grow up. Although the peace maker inside of me always tries to look for the best possible way to make all these problems vanished without war.

So let’s just not talk about that, I’ll tell you how good it is to be home. My house have never been this homey before, and no house would be able to replace it, especially in this current situation. It is not only about the internet connection or my messy room, it’s all about the sense of belonging. I own it all, my life, my house, I rule. lol.

I think a warm soothing words is all i need right now, ha… as i’m enjoying the peacefulness of my mommy’s room and the unlimited free internet connection, i hope this day can last longer. ah, amen.

This post sucks.

 

I think I have to warn you, this post will be a sucky one as I’ll tell you how sucked my recent life is. I need to runaway.

ONE. The life at the village isn’t as fun as I thought it would be, despite the whole lot (almost everyday) cam-whoring photo session, jokes and all, I was bored to death, not to mention some conflicts between us every now and then.

What makes it worse is that I have no intention to change it. I’ll keep being the spoiled brat whining about internet-less days and too hot sun and the lack of handsome face and all. And I believe if I keep acting like this spoiled little princess, I’ll add my name to the conflict area, I’ve had enough confusion already, so please dear self, stop being annoying.

The only thing that makes me stay is the fact that I have to. damn it.

TWO. My school life, isn’t all that great either, although I have classes only in Monday and Friday, both classes are stressing with all the homework and papers. Ever heard the word ‘I hate Mondays” I can’t help but agree to the creator.

THREE. I am in need of love, I haven’t met the best friend for almost two weeks thanks to the village duty, I barely have time for myself, and whenever I’ m free, the best friend is not. I need to get over him, I did, I think. But now, it’s a crisis, I need to feel some love and he’s the only one I have in mind, as I haven’t found a new object for my affection yet. Gosh, this couldn’t be any more torturing, right?

Wrong.

FOUR. I don’t know what is it, I just know that something wrong’s going to be added to this list pretty soon.

And I forgot to mention that I have to work on my thesis too. Makes it the fourth, to add salt on to the scar, I am inspiration-less, of course, how can such negative state give me an inspiration?

It all, however, started with the messy life I have to live in the village. Damn, how long  two f*ckin months can be?

Or maybe I’m just missing the best friend too much.

Or maybe, it’s all just simply because of… PMS. Eww.

Precious

I’m finally back home! Nanette’s birthday was two weeks ago and I’ve wanted to post about it since then, but the pictures I just got it yesterday, so…

We made her a surprise party by making her living room rained with poladroid pictures. Haha. So me and my friends contacted all people she knew, including her ex-es to help us sending their pictures holding a birthday sign for her, it was pretty troublesome, as one, we don’t really know her friends from other cities, or even countries (for we contacted some of her buzznet and myspace friends too, and she has like freaking 400++ friends lol-some are bands or people she admires) but we made it anyway. Not all of them agreed, some even didn’t reply the message, but it was still fun, ha.

And there was one most important part, we need this surprise to be a blast, so we tried to contact some people she adored for long, one is miss Katie Sokoler from colormekatie, whose blog I adored so much too, two is Mr. Kunto Aji, an Indonesian Idol contestant who is actually Nanette’s playmate and my senior back in the junior and senior high school, we kind of lost contact ever since he joined the famous TV show, thus we kind of miss him much, and the last one requested to be kept secret.

It was kind of surprising how these people were so cooperative. I seriously was surprised when Miss Katie replied to my message, I was even higher when she sent me her pic, oh my! How could one be so kind?

Mr. Aji replied to my text message in the middle of the night and got me unsleeping right after, lol. It felt nice to have him helping us, plus the fact that it's been ages since the last time I talked to him, haha.

So here it goes…

HAPPY BIRTHDAY GIRL!
*yep, that’s me beside her, lol.

that was precious and priceless, hors de prix :) I want my next birthday to be full of balloons and surprises and colors and all my dearest friends. lol, talking about greedy.

Chin up!

In two hours, I will be isolated from all technology goodies and forced to do some good deeds to the country, my university, and of course, myself. Being without internet is hard, because it means living five days without you all by my side (or in front of me-well… you know, the screen is in front of me) but I promise, I will keep our happy memories forever in my hear.

Thank you.

 

Alright! LOL. I’ve said it dramatically, did it sound good? I mean, depressing enough? Ah, of course being without you guys isn’t my favorite state, but on the lighter (and brighter) note, I met some new friends too (remember baby? He’s included). And we have some festival to hold, and some guests to be welcomed.

Right, maybe you’re all confused of what the hell am I talking about? This is about the duty I have to do to be graduated, remember I told you about spending times in the village? Yes, this is it. It was planned to be held in July-August, but it was postponed, thus I went to Bali instead, remember? So now I’m doing it. Spending two months in the village.

Next Sunday there’ll be some important people from Thailand and Indonesian cultural department visiting the village, so we have to get ready for this!

And by the way, my new friends in this project are nothing but crazy, sure there are some silent people too, but they’re not bad either :) We have two photographers, one guitarist, and a whole bunch of joker, so I guess… I can mend this broken heart, lol.

I’ll still miss you all anyway, and I still have one musical tag game from the toothfairy to do, I’ll do it once I get back from the village, I promise :D

Now wish me luck on living five days without internet, hahaha. I’ll be back on monday! Wait for me and miss me :P

hot post for a hot day

As promised, I post today :) just so I can provide you some stories before I have to go back to my pile of homework, thesis and go to the place where internet isn’t really exist.

This is a HOT day, 38 degree here, and even for us Indonesian, it is too much. The sky was clear which means cloudless which means no cloud which means no single cloud was seen, scary.

And oh another hotness, I decided to go on a shopping spree after the announcement of future torturous internet-less days (or worse, months) to de-stress myself. I planned to buy a pair of shoes and/or a jeans pants, for I think I’m running out on one already, things didn’t go as it planned, though. Instead, I spent my bucks on a shirt, and bras.

Have I told you I love buying underwear? Haha, so I bought two pieces of bras today, and I love it, so much. Too much that I just had to tell my cousin about it. And that was when the perfect hot day turned out hotter.

I’ve been so used to text my cousin whenever I have something in mind, let’s pretend that his name is Bear, his name is the first one on the B list, all I have to do with my phone after I finished typing was to press “B” and send it, so that was what I exactly did earlier today, only to see the report “Message was sent to Bass”.

Apparently, Bass' number replaced Bear as the the 1st name in B list, for it is sorted alphabetically, as$%^$#786%$jgd$%#$!!!!! Goddammit! Bass is my new friend, I added his number to my phone only a couple of days ago, whom I will spend the next two internet-less months with every weekend.

And here goes my message:

Bwahaha *is laughing in joy* I went shopping today and I bought some new bras, yay! *is happy*

So girls, enjoy your laugh while I dig a hole to bury myself. I’m dying from embarrassment. I even think it can be considered as a TMI Thursday post. although yes, it is not Thursday yet.

Just in case you didn’t notice, Bass is a boy. I’m dead meat. *face palm*

Epic fail.

I’m stressed!

I’m back! When was the last time I posted something here? About a week ago? Damn, I miss you all guys, and by the way, there’s one real bad news, for me, I think. Starting this week until December, I will spend my Wednesday to Sunday away from home, and the worst part, away from internet, and I hate this fact too much. How can an internet freak like me survive without internet? I’ll force my mom and dad to give me internet goodness, whatever that me ans, maybe like a… an iPhone? Ha! =P

I just came back, and is stressed after finding out the said fact. Maybe I should just grab some money from my bank account and buy whichever blackberry or iPhone, or just a simple phone that can connect me to internet.

Damn, I sounded so frustrated, oh well… I actually am.

I’ll be back tomorrow, I’ll keep on posting for the next three days, lol.

the five habits

Thank you so much for your each and every supporting comment in the previous post :) they really helped me a lot. Alright, so I met him again yesterday and we chatted like nothing mattered, yes, nothing actually mattered so why should I build it up?

There are some gestures I noticed I only use whenever I’m with the best friend. Wait, okay, I’m over him, but we’re still best friends and I think… it’s unavoidable of me to talk about him every now and then.

I’ll be going for two days, yes, it’s weekend again and I have to do my duty in the village, we’re going to participate on a festival to celebrate Jogja’s anniversary! I’m sure there’ll be heaps of pictures ahead.

Anyway, here’s the list:

1. I always refer to “us” instead of me and/or you,

especially when we talk about the future, seriously, lol. Like yesterday when I told him that I don’t want to have a house with a lot of stairs because children love stairs too much and they’re double trouble to babysit when there’s stairs, “just let our child play in someone’s stair in someone’s house when we visit his/her house, at least that won’t be everyday,” and he was silent for a few nanosecond before said “okay…”

or some other time when I just back from our classmate’s wedding party, which he couldn’t make, so I told him how me and my other classmates decided to give a trophy when someone' from our class get married, I told him, “So when we got married, we will get a trophy!” And I was too busy thinking about the trophy to realize that what I said was somehow… what do you call it? Controversial? I can’t remember what he said in response, hmm…

2. I speak one octave higher than I usually do

While my voice isn’t really all that great, I just have to make it more squeaky, lol. He never really mind, though. And I never realized it until some time ago when we hang out I talked in my normal voice and he asked, “are you sick or something? You sound tired,” lol. Just because I didn’t talk as much and as squeaky.

3. Talking about money and business is something that is unavoidable.

Yes, he’s starting to build his bakery/cake shop/anything and I’m busy with my online bookstore preparation. Whenever we can’t find a good topic to talk about we’ll talk about business, and it doesn’t need a genius to tell that we both enjoy this conversation. Frankly speaking, I never really talk about business matter with my other friends.

4. I stare straight to his eyes whenever we talk

I don’t know why but I always do, based on the saying that you cannot look straight into someone’s eyes when you love him, then I’m definitely not in love with him. His brown eyes are something I don’t want to miss to stare at. They’re deep and captivating and I love the fact that I always look straight to his eyes. ha! It’s like challenging myself.

5. And when we said farewell it always ends with him putting his hand on my forehead.

and no one else do it to me, I don’t know about his situation, though.

and what do those cupcakes have to do with this post? I don’t know either, lol.

Losing

Finally, after a long five years of waiting, I’m giving up.

That doesn’t sound good, does it?

I went out with him today, and I realized something was slipping away from my life, the butterflies on my stomach, I couldn’t feel them flying around anymore.

The determination I put in my heart all this while faded away as days go by.

Which part of our conversation today lead me this way? There must be at least a line from him that made me back away. giving up is never my favorite thing to do, but here, I’m doing it anyway.

I’m not gonna lie , it hurts. Really. But then all I have to do is picking up each and every one of my dusty broken heart and put them back in its place. Not gonna be easy, I believe. But I will do it, I know.

“I don’t know if I should smile because I'm your best friend, or cry ‘cause that’s all I’ll ever be”

P.s I have some problems with my internet connection. I don't know why but I can't comment on some of your blogs. Great timing, huh? (insert sarcasm here)



P.p.s I re-read this post and actually think; Did I make any sense here. Oh rants.