what this little lady dreams about

What do you want to be when you grow up?
A good wife and mother.

It’s a long post about me, and my dream, bear with it. :D

I'm a hopelessly romantic girl. Some other stronger girls maybe will laugh at me, at my need to have someone to lean on. But really, what I want is a wedding, a day marking someone agreed to be with me, bearing all the consequences. Someone I can run to, someone I spend my rest of my life with, someone I can share everything with, someone to build the future with.

The hardcore lover in me always think that wedding is such a grand idea. I praise whoever come up with this. If it was a religion I would be a faithful follower, if it was a lesson you learn in high school I would religiously attend every class and not skipping any of them at all. For me, it’s something so precious sometimes I’m afraid to talk about because I don’t want to jinx it, some other time I will talk about it like there’s no tomorrow because I want to share the happiness. Wedding dresses make me happy, wedding pictures got me smitten, attending a wedding ceremony makes me imagining things. I’m so scary, don’t you think?

You see… I am capable of imagining anything. They said when you meet your soulmate you won’t have hard time seeing yourself in the future with him. I never had any difficulties imagining whoever being with me in the future for goodness sake! Be it Milo Ventimiglia, Jensen Ackles (okay, let’s get more realistic here, lol), or my first crush when I was six, I can imagine myself in a house with them and kids running around.

So my biggest fear is for those dreams to not happen. There, I've said it. What if I never get a chance to marry anyone? What if I can't make anybody loves me? What if nobody wants to spend the rest of his life with me? What if I ended up alone?

Forget it, think happy thoughts instead.

What a happy day for me is a day start with someone by my side, lazy little smile and maybe snuggled up some more just because we can't get enough of each other warmth. A lazy breakfast, to start a slow, steady day, okay... maybe some days will be rushy and crazy but that wouldn't be mattered, we have each other.

I'll cook, yes, I'll make breakfast while he takes his bath, maybe I would join too, in one of the lazy days because sure thing it'll be a long bath with both of us, and that would mean he'll be late for work and his boss would be angry and we wouldn't want that. Wait, on second thought, maybe he should be his own boss, yes? Just like me. So instead of having a boss fuming up because he's late, we can put up a puppy eyes if his customer isn't quite pleased, there I can help him, puppy eyes is my specialty.

The breakfast would be simple, I hope he won't mind. What about a simple toast? And a hot coffee or chocolate? Or tea? in the morning and little talk about the plans of what to do today. Yeah, that sounds about right for me.

And once the hubby is gone to work, I'll have the day to clean the house and do my own business, and preparing lunch (and dinner), go to the grocery store and off to do some shopping. Maybe once in a while, I'll get to catch up with my friends, old friends, new friends, and have some girly (or more likely 'womanly') talk. I know I'll ramble, with dreamy eyes about my hubby. How proud I am of him for how he can handle me in my weird mood -because I can be reaaaaally annoying in my worst mood, and maybe we'll exchange recipes, food, or something else (like some "how to tame a man in bed" tricks).

I'll work at home, I'll do what I love to do, just like what hubby does; because that way we'll be happy. A job shouldn't be burdening, right? I want to create something, I still want to open up a little shoppee for my artwork, I imagine myself being in love over and over and over again with this man, and the inspiration gonna be endless, flowing just like a river without winter, never frozen, never dried. If I can dream a little more then I would pray really hard for a little cafery, where people can chill out and just sit for hours.

I'll prepare dinner, I'll wait for him to come back home (or maybe he'll just have to do his job at home -wonder if it'll work, I'll come and distract him every time, though... because I'll miss him, and come to his room and voila! No work is done, lol. Okay, so maybe I need to learn more about self-control).

One of the days, I might be too lazy and will just call him to bring food home, or ask him to cook instead or we'll call a delivery service, or we'll go to our favorite restaurant in town and have a nice dine together OR we'll pay a visit to our parents' houses -we'll surely get some food there, right? lol.

Isn't that simple? My dreams? A whole day filled with love, on repeat, forever, with little surprises everywhere (you see... like 'surprise! you're gonna be a papa!' or 'surprise! RAAWR...' -ha!).

I don't dream of huge mansion with thousand of maids who will bow to me when I pass by them, I don't think I'll need a chauffeur, maybe a maid would help me cleaning up but that is all I need. I'm not gonna whine for huge diamond rings, though I won't mind receiving it.

I love little, simple happiness, like hugging and twirling around the room before heading off to bed, humming to each other songs only us understand (because most of the time it would be off-tune but none of us would be bothered by it). Like a little dance in the kitchen with ear to ear smiles plastered on our faces, because I'll need to learn to cook more, because I love spending times in the kitchen, and because I know, one way or another he would sneakily hug me from behind and distract me and maybe we'll end up with burnt inedible food, it's okay, there are heaps of restaurants out there, right? I won't even ask for thousands of roses, I'll pick a single stalk of sunflower instead. Sure a sunflower field would be great, but some sunflowers at the backyard would be enough.

Rent some DVDs and watch them until we both fall asleep, spontaneous date (or picnic, or anything really), a trip to disneyland or just any funfair, a night long talk of just talk and listen, or a long night with no talk nor listen but something else *wink.

I know there will be fights, little fights (especially because I am me) but then I hope there’s nothing out love can’t conquer (damn, it’s getting a little too cheesy even for me!).

So you see, even if I can't get the maid, the diamond ring, or the little dance, or the sunflower, that would still be more than enough for this little lady (one way or another, I'll get what I want anyway -I'm good at whining and persuading people, alright) only to have someone by her side for her to love, one who loves her endlessly.

Oh, but please please please don't leave the late night snack behind.

little thing to share

seriously, it's nothing big but it made my night xD

new designs

Remember I said I've got some new designs in my hand, right? Here are some of them.

dance in the wild

Oh I just love how 'wild' I was when I made this, all those lines and circles and all... I love the random complexity about this picture. Things I love about drawing is the ability to pour my heart content in it, ever so subtly that only I know what is it about. Since I'm in a good mood today, I'll explain, life has been pretty complex and busy and I love it, yes, I love it that I just want to dance in between all the wild hectic days.

Anyway, I've managed to colorized this picture... I won't show it here now, though. But a little spoiler won't hurt ;)

I don't really have much time in hand, but whenever I'm free (like when I have to wait for my friends, or parents, or whoever -I always wait, go figure) my brain would fly to the lala-land and force my hands to draw, here are some sketches I made (on a random paper I found)

(taken via my webcam, thus the poor quality lol)

The first picture was of a figment of my dream about my future house (hopefully). I'd love to have that one spot for me and my dear to talk and chat and enjoy the scenery while having our morning coffee/tea/milk/juice/whatever before starting our days. It was raining in my picture, just to add more warmth ;). I think I'll have a series of this 'future house dream' where I'd draw other parts of the house as well :).

The second? It was random, so random I didn't really know what I was thinking about, lol. It was koi, you know those pretty fish. Yeah... random, right?

So life's been good to me and I love it :)

ps. Some friends told me that they can't comment on the comment box (I'm still trying to figure out why, hopefully it's just some random blogger error, amen). BUT look! I have new stuff! See that? On the sidebar? Yes, chatbox! Haha... Let's just chat away! :D

littletiara shoppe sneak peek

Ah! Finally some news about my this little lady little shoppe! So, I’ve been going back and forth the printing shop lately, comparing prices and trying to find the one with best quality (and best price, haha!). The good news? FOUND! Mission complete, though I know I’ll do more research later because I want to know more, haha…

So here’s a little sneak peek of what I’ll sell. Some of the design you may have familiar with :) well, I do have some new designs I have yet to show to the world, which makes me giddy, haha! (these pictures are unofficial, taken by me in my room. Official photos will be taken next week, by my photographer friend, ronezt, who is now having fun watching iron maiden in Bali. (oh how I envy him!))

pretty sure you’ve seen this picture long before this, right? Well, if you’re new here, then… hello! This ballerina is one of my favorite, I love the color blue and yellow altogether :)

   

I made a little notebook out of this design

I love the thoughts that whoever write things inside can also enjoy my artwork when they sees the cover :)

this little notebook contains of 40 plain pages, coming in two different colors that matches the cover :)

Aah... so I’ve taken the first step, putting it in one handmade shop. Next, littletiara shoppe (online) will be opened soon, I’m having my fingers crossed here, I just need to find how to build a website, I’ve forgotten what I’ve learnt all along, I think. lol!

Oh, and here are some of other designs :)

oh, and in other note, to show you how cool blogsphere is, check out andhari, one of my favorite bloggy friend, the talented-restless little woman who had just made her first MV! This girl is one of the seriously pretty female rappers out there! check her video out! Oh, and I am so much in love with this song, really! I love love love the lyrics!

weird, random things

Things are coming in weird ways possible lately, like seriously, lol. Let me share you some of ‘em.

• I shouldn’t talk too much about this but, I took a test to continue my master. First random thing was that the best friend joined too! In the same university and we took test at a very same day. We met a few times few days before the test (because we had projects together) but none of us told each other that we planned to take master. LOL, Imagine how surprised we were when seeing each other on the spot?
  
  
• When the result was announced, I wasn’t on the list; the best friend was. Well, I was quite down, mostly because of my parents’ faces when they heard that I didn’t make it. I decided to take the next test they will held on march, I signed up again (online). THEN the second weird thing happened, this morning I received a call from the university telling that I actually made it and I can do the next interview test on the 17th this month (Wish me luck here!). How random was that? o.O
  
  
• Me and the best friend, remember we had this ‘project recycle’? yep, we joined a competition with it and yesterday he called me telling that we made it to the next round :D sounds good? Wish us luck here too! :D but that wasn’t the random part, how he knew we were in was because yesterday (feb 6th) he randomly opened their web and found our name, that wasn’t stop there, we were required to make a presentation video and the deadline was feb 7th, now THAT was random. Well… we made it anyway :)

So I guess all we have to do is to keep the faith and do our best, things will come our ways anyway. And sorry that this post isn’t about the littletiara shoppe (credit to nikolett for this, haha!) but I promise you I will talk more about that soon :D

Fill in the blank friday

picture via weheartit

Well this is Sunday but I’m doing this anyway, for the sake of my blog. I need to get back to my bloggy life and blog regularly again, ahahaha… real life consumes me!

1. If I could only read one magazine publication for the rest of eternity, I would choose I’m not much a fan of a magazine so I’m okay without them, but if I have to admit I love reading cosmopolitan, hehe… (and I wouldn’t mind to get subscripted to it for eternity-for free, right?)

2. If I were to run my own magazine it would be either an artsy pantsy magazine with random artwork from all over the world or a children magazine, haha! What do you call it? Kiddo magazine? :P

3. I buy my magazines (at the grocery check stand or via subscription) I borrow them from my friends, hahaha! xD they’re the addicted, I am not. lol.

4. I prefer my magazines (in print or online) online because they’re free, man! Look how petty I am! Haha!

5. The number of magazines I buy each month is (via subscription) … zero. o.O

6. My favorite magazine genre is (lifestyle, gossip, home, etc...) I love reading about anything, I love figuring new things out; but architectural magazine is the one I spend my time the most, I guess :)

7. The magazines I read regularly are hmm… none?

figures, these questions and me are just not meant to be, haha… anyway, aren’t you happy seeing me here? I’m back, I’m back, I’m back. Ah, I really need to ensure myself that I am. I over-engaged myself with people so… oh well, I love it anyway, it’s just that 24 hours doesn’t seem quite enough to me anymore.

And… dun dun dun, I’m steps closer to my littletiara shop, I think. I really need to stop thinking and just do things already! Hehe… I learnt it the (kinda) hard way, and thankful for it :) wish me luck so good thing will fill the next post!

Ciao for now!

I have a special friend

 

  

Well I think I’m going to ramble again.

Like other normal human being, I have friends, gotta say heaps of ‘em. I don’t really classify my friends, I don’t think one should. I pour my heart’s content to the same one I go and play all day long, the same one I share my nights with accompanied by some bottles of vodka and beer.

As time approaching, though, there might be spaces between me and a friend, and another friend. I mean, we all have our own lives, right? And no, I’m not complaining at all. I am glad that I managed to solve the problem I had with one of my high school buddy, as glad as to realize that I am in a good relationship with my ex.

Anyway, I have this special friend. Not in that kind of “special” like what I felt for Le Ex (previously Le Boy). This one is special because I can talk just about anything with him (yes yes he’s a guy). Just before you suspect something going on between me and him, yes, something is going on, and that is called respect.

He would be marrying his girlfriend anytime soon so no romantic whatsoever going on here, okay?

I knew him from a friend, and honestly we’re not even that close. I don’t really remember what brought us closer like now. I like how we can chat just anytime. I’m a thinker, over-thinker you may say, and I have so much in mind lately, and I am thankful that he’s there to hear me rant (just like you all here :D).

He might or might not read this, I don’t know. But if he does, I want to tell him that I’m really grateful for his accompany.

I’m glad that he can actually reminds me that yes, I have the potential and yes, I can do whatever I want. I might as well rule the world. I am glad to know that finally someone doesn’t say I am childish (most probably because he’s the one matured), and I am glad that someone tells me that I am a woman, not a girl.

Honestly, talking to him through chat has been being a habit, or addiction. He is honest and true to his word. At times I got scared if I wouldn’t be able to solve my own problem without his word ensuring me, but well… what he had been saying until now is enough to fill my memory and ensure me that I can.

Maybe the timing is right, just when I need someone to talk to I have him, which make days less stressful and this little woman a little bit more confident of her future.

Ah, one of my favorite word of his about me: Fun Fearless Female.

Thank YOU!

ps. Told you, I totally ramble off here. lololol.

And by this post, doesn’t mean my friends are less special and I am not grateful of them, take it as I’m featuring this new special friend. I don’t think my friends would take it that way, though, because they know me and love me to bits. Right? LOL.