Apr 15, 2011


Change is inevitable, except from a vending machine
-Robert C. Gallagher

Hmm... I think this one is gonna be quite personal, but then again everything I wrote here in my blog is personal, lol. 

I love walking down the memory lanes and find things I didn't realize when it happened and learn from the past. Looking back, I realized that I've changed much. I didn't say it's a bad thing, though.

Sometimes I find myself wondering, what would my friends from Junior High and High School say if they found how much I've changed.

Now, I know these thing below will sound normal to you all but not here, especially not when happens to me. I guess I have this "girl next door" written somewhere on my face that people always think that I am innocent. Which I am not.

Compared to my 15 year old self, these past years, I've experienced more things. Say, went out adventuring with my friends, went clubbing (spent my new year in one), kissed boys, drink alcohol, watch porn... and more things on a list of thing to not do before.

This thought of mine may be wrong, but I think it's a part of learning. Sure, people can have their opinions, but I am thankful to choose to do those. I shouldn't just do things people tell me to and not do what they say not to. I need reasons, why should I and why shouldn't I.

At last, I found what I needed to know. Reason and purpose.

Like how I not drinking when clubbing. I enjoy clubbing, but I dislike how I smell of smoke after (and those shameless drunken guys are annoying). I like alcohol, but I prefer water more. I decide to not drink when clubbing, because I know I went there to dance and not to get drunk.

I'm glad I know how fun clubbing is, and I know how annoying those drunken lads are. How alcohol isn't that yum, though would be nice to be drunk sometimes with friends. I think it's better finding and enjoying it now than later when I have kids and family.

I wrote this half prayed that people won't see me as an alcoholic chic who goes in and out the nightclub everyday. I'm not. So I'm neither that innocent girl, nor an alcoholic chic, I am merely an ordinary little woman finding myself.

Then I think, maybe my friends won't be that surprised. They should've changed too, right? Because everybody's changing. 


  1. This post kept disappearing every time I tried to click on it but I'm glad it's hear now. You shouldn't be ashamed of the things you've experienced over the years, and never worry about labels - I see you as someone who wants to explore what life offers and find out what you like. The reason why I don't like clubbing too much is because it's pricey, and I prefer alcohol before clubbing because it's cheaper to buy a bottle for home (which makes me realize I am cheap LOL). But yes ... I don't think the things you do betrays who you used to be, it's just that process of evolving and become who you're meant to be, I think. And no matter what, you'll always be adorable and awesome :)

  2. And by 'hear' I mean 'here' ... I only had one cup of coffee today, that's my excuse. And yes, if your friends aren't supportive of you then they're crazy ... as long as what you're doing isn't self-destructive or destructive to others, be who you are :)

  3. I think you need therapy, Tiara.

    Hahaha! just kidding! You're living a little and there's nothing wrong with that. Besides, sometimes you need to try it to know that you don't like it. For me, I enjoy clubbing and alcohol but only on occasion. I can't be one to go out every weekend and party until the sun goes down because a) i'm not a night owl b) it's expensive c) i don't even like the taste of alcohol d) i prefer to stay at home and watch a movie and have dinner with my family! haha! As long as you don't do things recklessly... you're fine. You're a smart girl anyway and a smart one who knows how to have fun!!! :D

  4. check out my latest blog post :)

  5. Going out and having fun is perfectly alright as long you're just enjoying with friends and not hurting other people and all that! :)

  6. It's good that you can make your own decisions. I think that is always important. You have matured and that is a good thing. Experience is the best teacher in life and I think you should definitely experience and try new things, especially when you are young.


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