I used to get second chances for whatever bad things happened to me, yes, I am spoilt and lucky. Not only lucky because of the fact that I have the best of friends around, but also lucky in a real word term.
The exam would be somehow miraculously postponed when I am not ready to make a go for it, my friend would wonderfully have an extra copy of the homework when I don’t have one with me, the professor would let us open the book on the test just right when I am not at all prepared for it, etc. I've gotten like billion times of second chances moment where I can fix whatever I did wrong.
But not yesterday,
Not for this guy.
There was one guy staring at me secretly whenever we met, and I stared back at him. And whenever I stared at him, he stared back at me. There was surely something between us, I can feel it, yet no word ever came out of our lips, not even a single 'hi'. I encouraged myself to send him a smile the last time we met, wishing I could say a word or two next time we meet again, the thing that mattered was nobody told me that it was actually the last time we could ever met. He flew back to his country the next day (yes, he’s a foreign student), with the words and sentences and stories still lingered in
our (or at least) my lips, stuck there, we shared not even a single 'hi'.
The thing I (still) regret the most is not about the ‘no second chance’ thing, it's about how stupid I was because actually, there were not only second, but third, fourth, fifth and God knows how many chances I've been given that I didn’t realized which led me to the fact that for the very few time in my life, I regret.
I need to find something to distract my brain from thinking of him, because no matter how many time I spend time to think about him, it would lead me nowhere but regret. I don’t even have a clue about him, didn’t even know his name. Now I do, though.
But that’s all I have.
There was one song that woke me up, a little too late, though. But this song taught me not to do my mistake again, ever again.
wait, wait till you doubt no more
wait till you know you're sure
and you will wait too long
he will be gone
(Wait; get set go -OST. Grey’s anatomy)