the daydreamer

Let’s start to identify the little tiara from her habit, the number one, is daydreaming.

I daydream a lot, about almost everything, almost every time, and I can do it, almost everywhere (but toilet and my bedroom are my favorites). I can daydream about the thing happened a week ago, about an event that had just happened, about dramas I watched (I know, HEROES isn’t a drama at all, but Sylar-Elle romance is (or was?), or dramas I have for myself in my love life, sometimes, when my brain is settled on the very right place (which is rarely happen), I daydream about my homework, I plan on how will I start it and how to connect every paragraph to make it coherent. But most of the time, I daydream about my future, the thing that has not happen at all yet.

Although there are lot of ways, I still can’t quite figure out about what kind of proposal would melt my heart, maybe because any kind of it would. Whether it is the super romantic one, with bunch of red roses and a ring, and him kneeling in front of me, or the childish one, when we play at the fun park in one of our dates and he out of the blue buys me an ice cream with a ring in it (I hope he wouldn’t use this one, other than quite usual, there is like hundred possibilities that i will just eat that ring up! Later on I would have to get a surgery because of it…)

I am not truly a feminist, I love to decide what I want to get, though, but then again I wouldn’t mind if my hubby to be arranged something for our wedding. If he really up to me for this, I have the plan already, I want it to be a super white wedding, (okay, not really white…), I want all the guests use white, I want the place covered fully with white textile, and the flowers should be white roses. Everything should be white, while me and my hubby use red, I want to be wrapped in a beautiful red kabaya (it’s Javanese traditional clothing), except for me and my hubby, we are the spotlight, that’s our night.

Once in a while, I imagine about our honeymoon, or then, our nights together, with kisses and hugs. Not being a pervert imaginer, it should be a sweet one. I often wonder whether I would coyly go hiding under the blanket, or simply it would be me who start the wild night.

I love to imagine my own reaction when I find out about my pregnancy, and how I will surprise my dear hubby with it, we will be busy looking for my maternity clothes and baby clothes and baby stuffs and dolls and searching up for the best baby name and such while I’m pretty sure I’ll be even more annoying than I already am when I am pregnant, I’ll be more demanding and now I am hoping my future hubby will be patient enough.

I daydream about the little family I will have with my husband (whoever he will be), and maybe a little chalet, or a simple and nice little house, I can imagine it being white and gray with some colored spots, and it’s all colorful on my baby’s room. I can imagine me cooking while waiting for my hubby to come home from his work, my baby (or babies) is/are playing in the backyard, or maybe sometimes they can help me cooking their dad’s favorite dishes. I should be working at home then, or maybe being a carrier woman, I don't know, still can't decide it yet...

On our second wedding anniversary, I want to hear Simon Webbe’s After All this time, I’ve chosen that song since quite a while ago, I don’t even know what my first wedding anniversary soundtrack is, but I know the second already. I won’t matter whether my hubby will ask me to dance or not, I don’t think I am a great dancer anyway, but seriously, it would be nice if he does ask me.

Sometimes, my expectation about the future change and it doesn’t actually hurt even a bit. Since I’ve come to a realization that how to get more is to expect less, I can be happy in so many ways I’ve figured out, so whether it’s one way or another, I wouldn’t mind, I think.

Now, I should go back to my paper and finish it off. Only one more paper left and it’ll all be done!