I must've done something right

.... to deserve you in my life

How many heartbreaks have you gone through? Me? I can't remember anymore. I can't remember how many times my heart has broken, can't remember how many hearts I've broken, either. All I remember is how thankful I am to have my friends around me during those moments.

I remember when I was in high school, I had this major crush to a certain boy who didn't have his eyes on me at all. It was his birthday, so I decided to buy something for him with the help of my friends. I remember we were so busy that time with debate competition and all, but she managed to accompany me buying gifts for my oh-so-called-crush. I couldn't be any more thankful for that.

I was too much of a chicken to give the present myself so I asked my friends to give it to him, I was hella nervous to say the least.

A few days after that, the gift came back to me. I was freaking rejected.

I remember wailing in the class when my friends showed me the still-wrapped gift. I remember someone hugged me tight and soothe my crying self. I was a young 15 year old girl, who got her heart broken so badly, with her friends around her trying to calm her down and she couldn't be any more thankful for that.

Now, years later, I tried to imagine what my friends felt, what they had in mind when they had to break the news for me, what did they think when they saw me crying like a crazy lunatic in the middle of the class, what did they feel when they knew I continued to have a crush on that guy for the next two years.

There were more heartbreaks after that, and even more friends to calm me down. Looking back at those moments now, I realized how lucky I am to experience those heartbreaks, to have matured, to be grateful of how much love I received from my friends.

I wonder if they will ever know how thankful I was for them being there, thus I decided to write this here, so they could read, so they will know.

So for all my friends, all through my primary school friends to university friends, friends of my friends who became close to me, my online friends who most of you I haven't met in real life, all of you, please know that I want to say...

I love you, I love you, I love you... And thank you, thank you, thank you, I hope you know how I am thankful to have you, and I am sorry, I'm very sorry, I'm sorry if somehow you feel that I'm such a bad companion.

Dreams do Come True

picture found via weheartit

Not sure what came to me today that I suddenly decided to sit in front of my computer (well, this part happen everyday) re-reading my old posts in this blog. It feels good walking down the memory lane and see what I've got and what I'm not and how many things had happened and how many precious lessons I've learnt.

That is until I found this post I wrote in February this year as a year-opener blog post. I didn't really remember what I wrote there, I thought it would only be about me talking about a new year resolutions and stuff like that. Apparently it was even more unimportant but seriously more surprising, I mean you won't believe how it surprised me when I read what I wrote there!

Here's a little part of it:

In another note, I really really really want to go South Korea for my birthday *wails* reason is, there's this Big Show, a Big Bang concert. Which, if you don't know already, Big Bang is like... the only Korean boyband I love! 

Okay, I know I sounded like a desperate teenage girl wanting to meet her idols, lol *hides in the corner*. I know, this shouldn't really be found in a blog of a 23 year old girl, lolololol... I can't really believe I did write that hahahahah... but what surprised me more was that this year, I did go to Korea and I did watch Bigbang concert! D:

I'm sure you all know that I went to Korea this summer due to my impulsiveness hahaha... and that was one of the best decisions I've ever made, oh the adventure! But I hadn't really say something about going to Bigbang concert, had I? So yeah, I went to their concert here in Indonesia. How appropriate that this year they decided to do a world tour and Indonesia is one of the countries on their list.

the lightsicks and the craziness
picture taken by me

The concert was Boom Shakalaka fantastic baby! It felt like I was watching a youtube videos about their concert with a super huge screen in front of me, and then I realized that I was in that video. It felt surreal, and fantastic and... well, this is the fangirl in me talking, lol. It just quite hard to believe that the people I could only see in youtube suddenly stood there in front of me, singing and dancing to songs I usually heard only the mp3 version of.

me camwhoring with the lightstick before the concert

Le crowd, looks pretty jam-packed, eh? Yes it was!

So I guess it's the power of will, or want, or... something... It just felt magical that the little things I wrote earlier this year was indeed granted. Life is just so cool and mysterious, isn't it? This only thought me to share what I want to do, what I want to be, instead of keeping it to myself. So yeah, I guess the saying was right...

When you want something, all the universe conspires in helping you to achieve it.

-Paulo Coelho

So while we're at it, what I want to do, and what I want to be now?

I want to finish my thesis as soon as possible, which is quite feasible looking at how I am progressing right now *insert smug face here*. To keep drawing as long as I can, and to have my own exhibition, and to travel the country, and to travel the world, and get married and still travel the world.

On my travel list are:

Wakatobi, Indonesia
(photo found via google)

• Wakatobi, Indonesia

This place is magical for me, I tell you. Once upon a time (like I-can't-remember-how-many-years ago) I had a dream, and you know how weird dreams can be, right? So in my dream I see myself flying on a plane, and there was a map-like visualization, I flew from Java island (where I am right now) to somewhere in Sulawesi (formerly known as Celebes) an eastern part of Indonesia I've never gone to. In my dreams I played in an area looking like... phi-phi island or Maldives, where you travel using boat everywhere. The dream fascinated me I just had to google it up the morning I woke up.

I wasn't really sure what to write on the keyword, so I just wrote 'archipelago', 'islands' and 'sulawesi'. I was seriously surprised when I actually found wakatobi there, I didn't know such place exist! It was in my dream, but then I found out that there is actually a place like that in reality, I didn't even know the name!

This happened in a time where nobody really knows about wakatobi, it is growing more popular right now, so it is easier to go there.

Cool stuff indeed.

Prague, Czech Republic
(Photo found via Google)

• Prague, Czech Republic

There's always something that fascinates me about the classical buildings, castles, the old-European architecture, and even the name Prague. Europe always have a special place in my heart, and Prague is on top of the list, surprisingly it's not even London or Paris (of course I want to go there too!).

I don't really have a dream or something about it, but back then in 2006 I made friends with someone from Prague and we exchanged pictures of where we live, that place caught my heart.

Seoul, South Korea
(Photo found via Google)

• Seoul, South Korea

I know, I know... but there's something so homey about this city for me. As I've said before, Yogyakarta, a city where I'm living in right now is seriously a perfect definition of comfort zone, where you can survive a week only with $10 in your pocket. Then I went to Seoul, a metropolitan city, pretty much different with Yogyakarta, but as artsy and cozy. I just can't help but wanting to come back there soon again, and maybe live longer there.

And I tell you, it's not even the boy bands that makes me want to go there, lol. (Okay, maybe yes for Bigbang)

Of course, that's not all, I've said that I want to travel the world so yeah...

Oh, look at how incoherently coherent this post it. Oh well.

A little glimpse of how I work

I wonder when will I stop writing and sharing unimportant stuff nobody really want to read, but maybe just maybe there are some people curious and wanting to see the progress of me making my artwork. So this one was made for a friend, dikasapi, a lomographer, a good one at that, and also, a boyfriend of one of the closest friend of mine, Nanette (I wonder if you remember her, I've talked about her quite a lot of times here in this blog).

So one day he asked me to draw him a camera, a lomo camera to be exact, and I said yes and well... that's how the story starts.

What I love about you, Korea

I don't want to sound so biased, although I might be am, but oh well... here's my thoughts, and what impressed me about Korea.

I know some people are just tired of all the Korean wave that's going on right now. Like everything is suddenly directed to and from Korea, from fashion to make up to entertainment and even education and technology. 

Anyway, having the chance to visit the said country myself, I dare to say it was an awesome country that gave me so many things to learn from.

I love how Korean are so in love with themselves.

The nationality, it is really high, and it was reflected on their daily life. When I was in the subway, all cellphones I saw was either samsung or SKY, in which both are made in Korea. Of course there were blackberrys and iPhones, but I noticed if someone have blackberry/iPhone he/she has two phones, and the other will be either samsung or SKY. On the street, majority of the cars were Hyundai and KIA, which, of course, were made in Korea. You see what I mean with korean loving themselves? Their cosmetics? Of course made in Korea.

I love how Korea is a mixture of modern and ancient.

The fact that they're not forgetting their roots, I just love it. As a student from the faculty of cultural study, I couldn't help but being so proud with Korea. Despite their technology (which was super awesome for me), they still manage to maintain their love for their culture. The Gyeongbok palace located in the middle of the city, surrounded by tall buildings and still doesn't lose its aura. The huge statue of King Sejong (the most notable King in Korea's history) in front of the palace was enough proof. The fact that the youngsters and tourists can have fun there, showed me how the government tried their best to introduce their culture to basically everyone.

I love how they make every place as a visit-worthy place

Han river is only a river, which I believe every country has. But they smartly made a park along the riverbank so people can enjoy whatever it is on the river (which practically nothing, really, but it makes a nice place to stroll around). There are also a water performance in Banpo bridge (one of the bridges crossing Han river) every night. I wonder what gave them the idea, it was so simple, but beautiful. And the fact that it was only a river but attract so many people to come there is of course awesome.

I love how artsy it is!

Like of course, the little self-proclaimed artist in me love this country so much for being so artistic. Like I've said, I spent 3 days in hongdae, which was the central of the art in Seoul, but that doesn't mean it is the only artistic place in Seoul. Of course not. In fact, even their make up packaging is artsy, their cafes interior are artsy, wait... even the river is artsy...

So you see, I'm not talking about the boy/girl bands because honestly, I'm just too old for that, although I have to agree their songs are catchy. If you ask me, though, I love their indie band more. Well, I have this certain weakness towards indie bands, doesn't matter where it come from. And also I'm not talking about Gangnam Style either, because why would I? I've spent a month there listening to it almost everywhere because that's one perfect summer song, but then I came back and it just hit the world how catchy it is and suddenly Psy is everywhere and I was like... 'uh-oh... this song again'.

Anyway, I hope this post doesn't sound too korea-centered, because I only want to point out how a country which suffered from crisis several years ago now had came up and stand strong practically against the world.

Have I told you nobody uses google in Korea? They use their own called Naver. I just admire how strong it stands on their own feet, well.. it was just my 2 cents.

of long sentences and artworks

there are so many things I want to talk about right now, and for this one... we're not going to talk about Seoul, I will post more later so no worries ;)

anyways, first off... I'm not sure if this is a great way to start a post with something quite negative, I mean like... earlier this morning I felt so cranky and bitchy and sensitive and of course I know that it only meant my period is coming soon. Despite knowing that I can blame the hormones, I was still moody nonetheless. I was immensely negative this morning, it's a good thing I was home or else I'd be bawling my eyes out over the smallest unimportant stuff in front of the world and probably not giving a damn about it until hours later and then I would feel like burying myself for acting so stupid, and wow... that was a hella long sentence, lol.

So I felt negative and lazy and useless, and it made me sad, I mean... I had things to do and be finished but I just didn't feel like it and I was sad because of me not doing the thing I was supposed to do while the reason was my own laziness. Oh, look! There, another long sentence! I think I'll make a lot in this post, this is quite fun, it feels like ranting, lol.

I had thesis proposal to be done actually by today, but luckily the professor later texted me that he couldn't make it today so we'll meet on monday (phew~). I have lots of things I want to do like drawing my ass off and reopen the little store I had and produce new stuff and yeah, things like that... so I decided to brace myself and seek for some inspiration by looking at art blogs and websites, which surprisingly made me even sadder.

I felt like I had no style, like I just loved whatever people are doing and making and I made something similar. I'm not sure if it is a common problem, I mean... it almost feel like I am losing my identity, who am I? What kind of drawing is mine? What is my style?

And as you all know I love making art and people love it and that makes me earn something from my artwork, but then it started to feel different, sometimes it feels like I do art only for money, which I don't because when I draw only for money the result won't be satisfying enough for me to even show it off. which is a sad sad thing because you all know how I love to show off. It should be something to make me feel happy, not burdened, and I feel like I'm 'using' art, as if it was a person and I use it to work for me and earn money. I don't know, I'm weird like this.

So I sulked for hours, contemplating and talking with myself, which is pretty much a weird hobby but yeah... and I didn't know what came to me but suddenly I found my fabric marker and a plain white t-shirt. Next thing I know, I was doodling on my t-shirt and loving it and not feeling that sad anymore.

Told ya, I'm weird. Oh the mood swings~

I decided to just deal with my mood after that, because I know for sure that it will pass. More importantly, it felt like the light bulb was on! OH! Why didn't I find it earlier? Why only now? I mean, I have drawn stuff on fabric before to made some little plushy and dolls, but never thought about doing it on a t-shirt. Wow, was I insane?

I've been obsessed with lines lately, as in drawing lines, but maybe not so lately... it's just that I drew lines and circles more often than not lately. If you're following me on instagram or path where I usually show my raw artwork off you'll notice that too, I guess.

I drew this one on a restaurant. It's a nice place to sit and chat with friends but that day I came alone with my sketchbook and marker, this one was only one of the pictures I made that day, the others aren't so interesting, though.

Yay or Nay?

This was what I made earlier today on my shirt, and uh... I think my cat knew what I drew was his kind and got jealous, I mean look at him selfishly cover the face of my drawing with his cute little paw. Geez, jealous cat is jealous.

So I guess it's still an adventure of finding myself in the end, and of course you don't have to worry about me, this post sounds depressed only because the monthly period is nearing (trust me boys, it works that way). In fact, today I met up with a friend and dealing on him to help me make some tank-tops to sell on my (hopefully soon) revived shoppe. If everything goes well according to the plan then it means I will open my etsy store (!) in two weeks time, or around that. And well, new stuffs are coming, along with the old stuff, of course :)

and there is this quote from the boy I adored so much lately because he's just too awesome on being awesome...

It’s not luck - it’s hours, days and months that you spend working. It’s not faith - it’s the determination, the drive you have. And it’s not about you - it’s about the people who supported you on highs and lows. Then, perhaps, you have a chance.

—Kwon Jiyong*

 *Kwon Jiyong or also widely known as G-Dragon or GD is the leader of Korean group, Bigbang (which as you all may have known, I love so much, really the only Korean group I follow, okay?) one of the richest artist in South Korea because other than being in one of the biggest band in Korea, he also produced 80% of their songs, plus he's on his 2nd solo album right now where 2 of his singles already hit the roof of every music chart in Korea, perfect all kill.

and the fact that he's only a year older than me yet had achieved so much (like conquering the world with his talent and hard work and leadership) made me respect him so much. Just look at his words, I mean... it's G-Dragon, what more can I say?

When in Seoul pt.2 - Edae

I should be writing my thesis proposal right now, but I think I just want to continue with the 2nd part first... You know, blogging is like therapeutic, eh? Despite the craziness of the thesis-making I am in right now, I find peace in writing a blog post.

Funny how both are writing but so very different. lol.

Anyways, second part I'll be talking about Edae. Remember the first part? Yes, Hongdae. Are you questioning now if all places in Korea ended with a 'dae'? kkk~ let me do a little explain, 'dae' is a short from dae-hak-gyo (대 학교) which means university. Hongdae was a short form of Hongik Daehakgyo, and Edae is a short form of Ewha Yoja Daehakgyo (이화여자대학교) /ewha women university.

Got that?

Koreans love to shorten words, lol.

Since Ewha is a women university, there are like hella lots of girly frilly boutiques for your girly needs! This place is like my favorite place to shop, because everything was so cheap too! :D

Like I've said, coffe shop is everywhere, and Coffee Bean is like one of the biggest so... 

It was early when I went there (and by early, I meant 1 o'clock)

I'm so loving the neat street. Edae, in my opinion is simpler than Hongdae. Man, I really love this place!

Make up, shoes, bags, everything you need, girls!

They not only sells inside the building, even street vendors sell cute stuff! I mean, look at those bags!

I've told you, right? Girly frilly boutiques. I wasn't kidding when I said that.

Shoes shoes shoes! More shoes if you walk further down the lane!

Even without the color editing, this place screams pinky-peach to me. Femininity overload!

Shoes on SALE!

Cute cute cute stationary! I didn't bring much money I couldn't buy them on my first visit*Sobs*

More cute stationary, say hello to Choo Choo Cat~!

Oh gosh, another frilly boutiques! I can just stare at it all day and probably be happy enough.

What else could you ask for? Loads of cute stuffs on SALE!

 All in all, like I've repeatedly said, this place is my favorite. If you're wondering why isn't there any pictures of me in the photos, well... it's because I went there adventuring alone so... yeah. No no, I am not antisocial, I love hanging out with friends, as much as I love going around alone like a cat marking its territory, kkkk~ plus I can't really imagine going there with the boys, haha...

I really, like really really love wandering around, seeing new parts of the city or just any place I didn't know and find pretty stuffs. The chance to see new places is like something I really treasure and thankful for. There are like gazilion of places I've yet to visit on my wish list, but this little project my blogger friend, Nikolett, holds give me more chances to see places I never know about.

No, she's not giving away free tickets to go around the world (I wish she will, though -lolololol), but this project is a close one! Postcard Project is an adorable little project that will 1.) lets you see a new place through postcards, 2.) lets you find new friends

So what are you waiting for? Aren't you excited for this? Oh because I know I am ;)

When in Seoul pt.1 - Hongdae

I'm home already, but I think I really left part of my heart in Seoul. I've even planned to come back there again soon, the due date is the time all the cosmetics I bought there run out--which will be pretty long since I bought a lot, plus I got like hella amount of free samples.

I secretly (or not really) planned to come back there for my birthday next year.

I'm not sure what makes me love it so much, why I found it so lovable and adorable and homey. Before this, I've always been in love with my city, Yogyakarta. Not even coming to the infamous Bali reduced my love for Yogya even a little bit, so the fact that I enjoyed Seoul so much surprised me.

And no, it's not about the pretty boys in their boy bands, seriously... I'm too old for that. lol.

I've even decided to learn Korean (so I can bargain properly when shopping there) and to look for a job there (and I'm seriously serious about this). So I've been planning out the things I have to do to prepare my coming back there.

It's a good thing, really. Now that I have something to look forward to, I keep reminding myself that I have to finish my thesis as soon as possible, because only by finishing it I can go travelling again.

Anyways, I came back with heaps of stories and new friends, which I am really thankful for. Let's see... hmmm... let's talk about Hongdae, my favorite area in Seoul.

Hongdae is a really colorful area, filled with young energy as it is the center of where art in Seoul come from, Hongik University. It's an area filled with cafes and night clubs and all sorts of fun places youngsters would love to hang out in. It's my favorite place to hang out and having fun, despite the fact that the first two time I went there I got lost twice.

it's predictable to see posters of music concerts everywhere

Lomostore in Seoul, placed really strategically behind Hongik University, really a perfect place for such a fun shop.

La Sardina DIY, you can personalize your camera with your own artwork! How fun is that?!

One of the examples of how you can make your camera really yours.

everything in Hongdae is artistic, including this (unused?) car.

One of the artwork booths in free market*

cute gardening store! >.<

You know you're in Korea when you can find coffee shop every three steps

CAT CAFE oh my God! kkkk~

Anymode, from what I understand, this store sells heroes-themed cellphone accessories

and of course, cosmetics! Etude House is everywhere too.

Being the central of art, of course the buildings have to be artistic too.

I love how they have clear concept on every cafes, which makes each one of them distinct from one another.

*free market:
Every Saturday and Sunday, the students from Hongik University came out and have a free market selling their artworks, a very fun event indeed!

This summer

some of the new friends I made here in Korea

[August 18, 2012 7:09 AM Room. 325 Inha University; Dormitory 1]

Everything was suddenly quiet, it was merry last week, it was still merry yesterday, it was even still merry 2 hours ago. This morning at 6 AM the first batch of the students leaving the dormitory started, and that was how this quiet emptiness started.

I can still remember how crowded the airport was three weeks ago, better yet, it was crowded with teenagers of my age, and I couldn’t help but guess “ah, they’re the ones I’ll spend my next three weeks with”, which was accurate.

Random ads with CL of 2NE1 (a Korean girl group) in a subway station

Korea had always been in my wish list, and having learned to take every chances given, I decided to join this summer school I found randomly when I browsed the internet, granted, it was one of the best decision I’ve ever made.

Despite the Korean wave with its K-pop and K-drama, I’ve never really learnt about Korea, especially the language, so it was expected of me to be kind of nervous starting a ‘new life’ in a country I’m so unfamiliar with, that speaks language I know nothing about.

A cafe in Hongdae

It wasn’t love at the first sight, maybe not even the second sight. It was a hot sunny day the first day I came here, with the sunflowers stood still so beautifully, but nevertheless, it was hot, scorching hot. I couldn’t help but to think at how similar Indonesia and Korea are, well… the weather that is.

So time went by, I learnt new stuffs, made new friends, experienced new adventures, visited new places all squeezed in a very short three weeks.  I learn new things every day, making my dreams coming true one by one by visiting places I thought I could only see through the internet.

another random cafe (?) in Hongdae

As time sneakily moved, it was suddenly the third week. Suddenly the hot summer day was gone, changed with chilly wind and some rainy days. That was when I noticed the sunflower wasn’t standing as high as before, was the summer coming to its ending already?

I couldn’t help but to feel really empty as I couldn’t hear any sound from the hallway anymore right now, and feel a little bit saddened by the fact that I can’t hang out with my new friends anymore. And I hate to say that I hate the fact that I have to go back to face the reality, finishing my thesis and my study, looking for a job and do the deeds.

Choo Choo cat notes

This summer is definitely one of my best summers; I wouldn’t want to trade it with anything. Korea had taught me so much. The people here had been nothing but generous and helpful, I was awed at how advanced the technology here, but at the same time touched at how people keeps their culture.

I feel like suffering from a broken heart realizing how I have to pack my back and follow the other to come back home too. Suddenly, without me knowing, suddenly Korea is my 2nd home. I promised myself, this won’t be the last time I’m visiting Korea, I’ll be back for more.