Jul 14, 2012

Hello, my name is Tiara

I seriously miss writing, I guess I have to start all over again after the long absence. Let's start from introduction all over again.

The name is tiara, ye as in hat cute little crown princess wear, maybe that's why I pretty much am a spoiled bratty princess. Oh, sometimes some brides wear tiara too, so that would explain my love for anything related to wedding, and the fact that I have this dream about marriage and family.

This tiara 23 year old this year, pretty old, pretty young. I do what I want, I just do, I have this belief that in the end, the things you'll regret will be those you didn't do instead of the ones you did. So I braced myself, wear my heart under my sleeves, being honest whenever in love, being honest when having a heart break, just... being honest to myself. I cry when I'm sad and laugh when I'm happy.

When I wrote the previous post, I was confused why my crush was being cold to me. Being the honest person that I am, I always tell people how I feel, I can't read between the lines, I don't speak cryptic. If you like me, say it, maybe I'll consider you, even if I don't I will tell you. If you don't say it, I will never know, wait, maybe I do, but then I won't do anything about it, especially if I don't feel the same way.

Anyways, with this last guy, I was confused when things suddenly changed, I didn't do anything (at least not that I know of) and silent treatment is like one of the most traumatic things someone can do to me. I hate silent treatment, and yeah, hate is a strong word.

I was okay when later I found out the crush had a girlfriend, I was like "Oooh... so that's what it's all about..." although I couldn't help but feel a little bit disappointed to have a crush that's not really a gentleman and gave me a silent treatment instead of explaining. But of course, when I thought about it again, I could totally understand that maybe it would be silly for him to explain "hey I have a girlfriend now" when we didn't really have anything going on, so yeah, I understood.

Another thing that disappointed me was how he said he didn't know I liked him, ah... I really didn't know I fell for someone so dense. *sigh* (well, it's either he was really stupid or he was faking it because as I've said, I wear my heart under my sleeves-either way, it's not important anymore)

I was heartbroken,alright, but I was okay. Totally okay it irked me when my friends gave me this certain sympathy look. I am totally thankful about them, though, to care about me in (what they thought) my worst state (which was not, really). I can't really explain how being heartbroken is alright but I was totally okay and cool about everything. So I guess maybe I didn't like him that much.

Of course I liked him, but maybe not that much that I would feel too brokenhearted.

Ah, since I've claimed to be an honest person, I have to confess that I am not really okay today. Curiosity kills the cat, they say. And of course I just had to stumble upon the girlfriend's profile where they posed together and honestly, it kinda... stung.

I was in love(/like? Whatever), then I was hurt, then I was okay, and now I'm not really okay, but I know I will so don't worry.

I mean, seriously, this is so not the first time I'm having my heart broken, geez.

Oh well, I'm young and all, it's a part of my adventure, 10 years from now I will have an interesting story to my child how in 2012, to July only, there had been around 4 guys had entered my life, either they fell for me or the other way around.

I am thankful that I had given the chance to be loved, although I couldn't love back, that I had the chance to love, although wasn't being loved back, the chance to flirt although ended up nowhere, I mean... can you imagine life without all those? Man, that would be totally boring!

So boys, thank you so much! You, you, you, and you. 

and for the last guy, the one this post talked about, I wish you the happiest ending. See, I might be a bitch and all but I'm not one to curse your relationship, okay? I'm happy for you, really. I don't understand how so don't ask me to explain but yeah, I'm hurt and brokenhearted but I'm happy for you.

I'm complicated like that.

So it's a good thing that you (may) have found your happy ending, I hope to find mine soon too. I'm not sure if we'll ever be normal again-ever, but I hope we will, maybe not soon since I will need time to mend my broken heart (as little hurting as it is, it still hurts-well, it's a broken heart anyways).

Oh let's see if there'll be more boys later, I mean, I'm going to Korea by the end of this month and what can I say? New adventures! New friends! I seriously can't wait!


  1. Replies
    1. :D thank you darling! Oh gosh! I missed you! I missed the blogsphere! :D

  2. ohhh spoil yourself girly! ^__^ and have fun in korea! btw... you should really make the chocolate covered strawberries! soooo yummy!

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