I must've done something right

.... to deserve you in my life

How many heartbreaks have you gone through? Me? I can't remember anymore. I can't remember how many times my heart has broken, can't remember how many hearts I've broken, either. All I remember is how thankful I am to have my friends around me during those moments.

I remember when I was in high school, I had this major crush to a certain boy who didn't have his eyes on me at all. It was his birthday, so I decided to buy something for him with the help of my friends. I remember we were so busy that time with debate competition and all, but she managed to accompany me buying gifts for my oh-so-called-crush. I couldn't be any more thankful for that.

I was too much of a chicken to give the present myself so I asked my friends to give it to him, I was hella nervous to say the least.

A few days after that, the gift came back to me. I was freaking rejected.

I remember wailing in the class when my friends showed me the still-wrapped gift. I remember someone hugged me tight and soothe my crying self. I was a young 15 year old girl, who got her heart broken so badly, with her friends around her trying to calm her down and she couldn't be any more thankful for that.

Now, years later, I tried to imagine what my friends felt, what they had in mind when they had to break the news for me, what did they think when they saw me crying like a crazy lunatic in the middle of the class, what did they feel when they knew I continued to have a crush on that guy for the next two years.

There were more heartbreaks after that, and even more friends to calm me down. Looking back at those moments now, I realized how lucky I am to experience those heartbreaks, to have matured, to be grateful of how much love I received from my friends.

I wonder if they will ever know how thankful I was for them being there, thus I decided to write this here, so they could read, so they will know.

So for all my friends, all through my primary school friends to university friends, friends of my friends who became close to me, my online friends who most of you I haven't met in real life, all of you, please know that I want to say...

I love you, I love you, I love you... And thank you, thank you, thank you, I hope you know how I am thankful to have you, and I am sorry, I'm very sorry, I'm sorry if somehow you feel that I'm such a bad companion.