A long Ramble about Process (or something along that line)

One of my favorite things is watching some process happening, like how a catterpillar turns into butterflies, or make over; the stylist does some magic and ta-daah! Here come the cinderella! Or something "before-after"-related :D I love to compare how was it before and how it turned out after. So I love looking back through pages of an old album filled with baby me pictures and just adore myself :))

Anyway, this is going to be the first time I show you the progress of my drawing, starting from sketch to the next step until it finished. Everytime I finished a picture, I can't help to just loving my new baby. It happens every time, every single time. Narcisist much? lol.

If you're my facebook friend then most probably you've seen it before, heheh...

ver. 01 (Sketch)

I've been quite intrigued with fate-themed talk lately. All those soulmates and red-string stuff? Yes, that's what I've been thinking about. So once upon a leisure time, I found my pencil and paper and start to draw. One thing about me and my drawing, once I start to draw, I have to finish it right after. Else it won't ever be finished.

So here it is, a picture quite clear about two fated people.

ver. 02 (vector)

I bet you'll all agree that vector isn't really my thing. It's quite plain and although I've tried to put on more details, still I feel it's missing something. Maybe because it's too digital and not so "handmade". Oh well, you know what I'm talking about, right?

Even so, every time I see a nice-looking vector image I always want to learn how to make one. Haha... Hail to my curiosity!

ver. 03 (finished)

When I started drawing, I already have images in my head of how I want it to be like. I want the guy to walk on a snowy night, I want the girl to sleep soundly in a dim room. However, some things don't turn out as I planned, which is the fun part. You can never guess how it'll turn out.

I'm in love with this picture, like I always do to my other pictures. That's why my twitter bio says "a hopeless romantic who draws magic" about me. Because every time I finished a picture I felt like I've done some magical process ;D (and I thought about changing/erasing the "hopeless" part since it doesn't sound nice to me :P)

Well, I hope you like this artwork as much as I do (it even makes it to be my cellphone wallpaper hahaha...).

to wear the heart upon one's sleeve

How long has it been since the last time I posted here? Three weeks? a month? Time surely flies too fast to my liking. Anyway, how long exactly has it been since the last time I talked about boys? Any boys in my life? I can’t quite remember. Who was the last guy being talked about here? Was it le ex? That would be almost a year ago, seriously?

Okay, so I’m coming back, hopefully for good, and the opening story would be about a boy. Unfortunately, the story isn’t really a pretty one. Well, rest assured,  it’s not about a heartbreak (yet) because basically there’s no heart that’s breaking (yet, and hopefully there won’t be any). But you see… me and this new guy, we didn’t start off really good.

you can’t stick your toes in the water, 

you gotta jump and finally go underwater

Let’s just say that this guy is a friend, whom I wasn’t really close to but got closer as the time being.

It had been long long time since I really got smitten by a guy. I mean, how long has it been since the last time I told you about falling in love? I can’t answer it, I had long forgotten how it felt like. 

So, when there was a single little butterfly doing some somersaults movement in my tummy the moment he asked me out, I was in every kind of shock. I was afraid, but I was happy, I was so excited to the point of being terrified.

Which was not really a good thing.

When I am afraid (or nervous) I tend to do lots of silly things, like thinking that a booze would help me calm down a little bit, which was wrong. So, on our very first date (if you want to call it one) I was half drunk half nervous, not a nice combo. Really.

• I spilled my orange juice all over our table. Twice. (see how nervous I was? I'm not even sure what I was so nervous about)
• I talked half-consciously (blame the beer)
• I made so many silly expressions; like a cutesy one-you know, puppy eyes all night long (ew..).
• and I’m pretty much sure I said and did even more nonsensical things I don’t even want to remember.

Now, that was one of the worst starts I’ve ever made.

But, since I am kinda sure that I like this guy, I decided to follow what my heart says (not like I have any other choice) and wear it upon my sleeve. It doesn’t take a genius to guess about me liking him, and I’m sure he’s not stupid either. So yeah, I like him. Not in love (yet) but I really really like him.

When I think of why I do like him, what I like about him, I cannot quite pinpoint.

If I really have to write something about it, then it would be how he made me an honest girl, a damn honest one. I usually am one who hides disappointment to avoid further problems, it doesn’t occur to me when it’s him-related; when I am disappointed of what he does to me, I’ll say it out loud, when he makes me happy, I’ll make sure he knows, and the fact that I like him, like I’ve said before; is quite obvious for the whole world to know.

and about this fact alone, I am kinda proud of myself and thankful to him.

Does he like me back? I don’t know, most probably he doesn't (since I've done so many icky things a girl could ever do a lifetime only in a night). Am I sad about it? Yes, It's only normal that I do. Can I control this feeling? No, neither I can nor do I want to. Anyway, I couldn't care less about that right now, I am enjoying this “falling in like” time (right, not falling in love because it isn't).

While I know how annoying it is being pestered by someone I don’t really like, I just can’t stop being selfish and continue liking him shamelessly. I might, most probably, ended up in a heartbreak, (which I hope won’t ever happen however miraculously) then again, I will take care of that later when it happens.

Now, I need you to wish the best for me so I won't have to suffer from any heartbreak all over again. No matter how prepared I am, a heartbreak is still a heartbreak and whatever breaks, hurts. Especially when it's a heart.

don’t be careful with me I’m not so delicate I gave you my heart, I know the chance I’m taking 

(Meg & Dia – don’t be careful with me)

pictures from weheartit