To Enjoy my Time

I've ranted enough about how I feel pretty uncomfortable with my job and being in my office all day. So here's what I do to somehow aid the boredom... yes, of course, drawing~

I've been in love with drawing some big haired girls, I just love making the swirly hair, honestly. Hehe... And I've been thinking of what I could make out of these pictures. Maybe print it and make some cushion cover or something.

made it on my post-it note. Hehe..

not sure if I like it better with colors, what do you think?

Also, I've been in love with watercolor. Been doodling and everything using watercolor. You can say I've done some experiment. Sadly, I can't do this in my office. Anyway, did it on my free time on the weekends or after office hours is over. Sometimes I'm too tired to even think but some other time I'm feeling pretty much inspired. So yeah~

Uhm, excuse my ugly handwriting, and messy typography. It's just that I love writing motivational message, it seems. I haven't tried to create something more like a painting, I've just been doodling here and there, um~

Life update, I missed you!

Good day everyone, how long has it been since the last time I shared you my life update? Soooo many things had happened I barely have time to update my dear little bloglette. Also, most of my bloggy friends are so busy to update too so it seems more quiet here in the blogsphere lately. I gotta do some more blog-walking so I can meet more new friends. People, wait for me!

Anyone noticed I changed my layout a little? I want to revamp this blog but I guess things are happening slowly, well.. one step at a time, I guess? How do you like it so far? Is the title too pale? Can you actually see it? I wanted to make something watercolor-ish because that's what I've been doing lately with my artworks. I also want to restart my artwork little shop, it's been idle somehow :( but I promise I will force myself to create artworks from time to time. Because there's no such thing as not enough time, it's just a matter of priority, right?

I missed doing a lot of things I used to do now that I've found myself a job. The job itself isn't so hard and also kind of fun. I've landed myself as a visual content in a fashion retail company, how does that sound? Nice, right? It is. But honestly speaking, I need a lot more than the company pay to fulfill my heaps of needs of clothes and make up and gadgets (lol). More importantly, my passion towards art and creating stuff is still alive and kicking and it's not going anywhere anytime soon. I want to keep it alive, I have to keep it alive. While the work I do in the office is somehow artsy, it is still not enough. So here I am reliving the littletiara artwork line. I'm thinking of changing the brand 'littletiara' to my name, tiararisa. How do you like it? (I wonder if anyone is even reading this post, lol).

So how's life been treating me? So-so. I'm still on my training days until next month. I'm honestly still thinking if I was meant to be here, I like the job, but it doesn't bring the most of me, that must be why I keep on seeking of time to create artworks. Sadly, sometimes I'm too tired (and lazy) to do anything when I got back from work. But now, I will promise myself not to be too lazy anymore. You know the feeling of not doing enough? Funnily it's not for my boss because they all seem satisfied with my work, it's not doing enough for myself, because I know what I'm capable of but I'm not doing enough to let them shine.

I watched 2NE1's concert! (Okay, this is so OOT but whatever, lol I will find a way to connect it). It was super cool. Super crazy, everything was amazing but the most remarkable for me, other than the super cool lighting and stage was the performance of 2NE1's leader CL. I just have to talk about it! She seems sooooo very happy to be on stage, it was like she was born to perform. Her smile was so wide and it shows how proud and happy and satisfied she was to perform in front of us. I want to be like her, to be genuinely happy doing what she likes best. Of course, all of the girls were stunning and adorable, too!

I miss the happy feeling of finishing my artworks, and someone ordered it and received it and show it off to their friends and colleagues. It wasn't much, but to create something useful to make someone's day brighter, isn't that a really nice feeling? No wonder CL looks really happy, the energy of her fans that filled the arena transferred to her and her team. We were all really happy to be able to share the same place with 2NE1, the happy energy, how huge it must be?

Also, I miss speaking English T^T this sounds so weird, right? So other than creating graphics and visuals for my company website, I also contribute in writing some blog-content. But they're all written in Bahasa. And I can't find anyone who can converse English here with me T^T. I'm afraid  my English is becoming dull, so I figured that means I have to write more english, right? To keep my actively speaking English. I know I know this sounds so weird, I myself didn't think there would be a day I would complain about the lack of speaking English in my life ever, lol.

Other than working and watching a super-exciting concert, trying to create more artwork and struggling to keep speaking English, life's beeen normal. I've been purchasing lots of make ups (lol), and I plan to review them soon. Most of them are Korean products (like of course) but I also purchased an NYX lip cream, and a japanese mascara. So yeah, lots of things to talk about, eh? ;)

I missed you  guys, I hope you missed me too (heheh...) I will try to update more frequently! Ah, wish me luck with everything!

Seoul Adventure pt.1

Before anything, let's cross our fingers that I can finish writing this series, I really want to share everything I encountered during my 10 days stay in the capital of South Korea.

This was not the first time I stepped my feet on the gorgeous tiles of the grand Incheon Airport, so although I was alone, I was not afraid (I was still a little bit confused, tho) things felt familiar and I was kind of smug when I didn't have to go to claim my baggage because really, I didn't have one. 

So people, I really only went there with a single backpack on my back and nothing else. I seriously went all out this time, hahahahaha~ (I think I kinda look like a lost little girl tho).

Talk about being lost, I was indeed lost the first few minutes I stepped out the door with the EXIT sign. It wasn't even outside the airport yet people! Now here's the problem, when I first came to Korea for summer school last year, there was a bus fetching us, but now I had nobody, I gotta take the subway and I had no idea where the heck the Airport subway station was. 

Thankfully, Incheon was a very user-friendly airport with signs everywhere, but even so, Incheon is a big huge airport. I followed the direction but I still couldn't see any sign of subway or something that looks like one. So I looked around, and I found a guy who looked as lost as I was (if not even more so hahaha), so in that first few minutes after I stepped on the land of K-pop, not even stepping out of the airport yet, I have found myself a travel (lost) buddy. I can remember clearly the look on our faces when we stared at each other and figured out how we both were lost and that we might be each other's saviors. We managed to find the subway station, I helped him with the subway tickets, and we traveled together at least during the subway trip.

His name was Frank (if I'm not wrong) from Thailand, a 26 year old guy who ran a family business back at home and just did a random getaway to Korea (he really just decided it 3 days before), he hadn't even booked a place to stay (and I was so tempted to tell him to just stay with me in the hostel I've booked but I thought that would be too scary for him. So it was his first time in Korea, and he had no idea at all how things works in Korea, also, he was quite handsome (I thought he was a korean celeb or something but he looked too lost to be a korean hahhaaha). 

Too bad my phone battery was sooo low I couldn't take picture of us together, it would be nice to do so really, collecting pictures of people I met there (but most of the time my phone bitched out on me and decided to just die). Anyway, I'm glad I helped him out and gave him some pointers on how to survive in Korea (subway maps, T-money cards, etc). But that was it, my short-lived friendship with Frank from Thailand, I was not sure if I should ask for his number (wouldn't that make me look a little bit too creepy? I only knew him for a few minutes anyway), so I didn't (I honestly think I should, though). So yeah, we parted ways and wished each other good lucks.

I continued my journey finding the place to stay during this trip, I've booked it before; Seoul Basecamp Hostel, located very strategically in Hapjeong, only a few seconds away from the subway exit, very convenient!

I love how friendly Jake, the owner, is. I was a little bit too flustered when I came, it was around nine in the morning, I had a hard time finding my money inside my backpack and he was patient enough to wait for me (I even gave him wrong cash few times), kkkk~. As confused as I was that day (I will say it was jetlag) I didn't really catch what Jake said about the bathroom, think I shampooed my hair with body wash and use the shampoo to wash my body, hahahahaha... it's okay, I survived.

I really love that this little hostel has a rooftop, so I can breathe Seoul fresh (?) autumn air every day and see the hustling bustling city moving on the road below before I started my adventure for the day.

this is not the hostel I lived in, it's the scenery I see everyday from the rooftop, hehe~

The thing about this adventure is I fully realized I only have ten days so I had no time to waste. So after I washed up (with body wash and shampoo not doing their proper work) I went upstair to the rooftop and met some other guests who were having their breakfast. AAAANDDD I did another weird thing (really, my brain wasn't working properly) since I still had no idea how things work around the hostel, they kindly showed me around (the kitchen); that there were toasts and jams and everything you need for breakfast. 

I never really use toaster at home, heck, I don't even really eat bread as breakfast, so I was too lazy to use the toaster (no worries, I know how to) and just ate the bread without anything on it (no sugar, no jam), and as if it wasn't a weird enough sight for them, I couldn't find any water dispenser, when I asked them they said they usually bought bottled mineral water at 7-11 down the street, but since I was too lazy and very thirsty, I just drank the tap water, not sure if I could do that hahahahaha... but I'm still alive to this day sooo~ oh well, I hope I didn't freak them out. (turns out we can buy a bottled mineral water in the hostel, in front of the receptionist!)

it was still pretty early so the road was not that crowded yet, but you can see all the buses and taxis

This is my weakness, it took me several times hanging out before I can finally remember your name, but I remember the details. So the new friend I made that morning was a guy from UK who had visited Indonesia before and if I'm not wrong he said something about being a teacher in India. So fun and adventurous! And another guy from the US, who is teaching english in Beijing, who had his flight back to Beijing delayed for 4 hours, who occupied the capsul next to mine. Ah, whatever your names are (I really should contacted Jake only to ask who their names are), thank you for guiding me on my first few days, please don't be creeped out by my weird self! (>3<) this applied to Jake as well, hahaha...

man, isn't this a little bit too long already? And we're not even half way the first day yet! Oh well, I guess this Seoul Adventure Series gonna be a little longer than I thought it would be, not that I mind it. Can't wait to share more!

Oh, a few hours before I took the flight to Jakarta (before then go to Kuala Lumpur and continued the flight to Seoul), I applied for a job in UNIQLO -a pretty huge casual wear designer, manufacturer, and retailer brand from Japan (my friend thought it was a United Nation something, lol), and I was called for an interview (thank goodness!) tomorrow! I'm so excited about it! I really hope I can get this job! I'm already in love with their company rules and everything (and their jeans! But that's another story for another day). So, yeah, wish me the greatest luck! 

Where am I?

In less than 24 hours I will be graduated, a certified MBA completed with the Toga and the graduation ceremony (including waking up super early in the morning to get the make up done). Since this is the second time I graduated, it feels less thrilling. And a bigger responsibility come with this, I'm in yet another life gate and so what's next? 

It certainly feels like a deja vu, I've experienced this two years ago when I got my Bachelor. I'm out of school, and another road called 'REAL LIFE' is spread out wide in front of me, with so many options with the responsibilities and risks; and most importantly, no U-turn, no coming back.

Which is hella scary.

Sometime this morning when my mom was reading the invitation for the Gala dinner she said "so it's time for you to start looking for a job" and I can't agree more, but what I had in mind was "Oh, but I've bought a ticket to Korea instead."

Is this a bad thing? I certainly don't think so, I might be wrong but this is what I believe; I'm living my life, while I'm still young and have lots of free time. I need to enjoy life before I start my career (more likely, my 9-5 life). That's my argument, but of course I can see my mom opposing to it, probably thinking I'm wasting my time (well I might be), but I hope to find more than just the pleasure of vacationing, I wish to discover more of myself.

I'm a serious contradiction of myself, I'm both this and that, I know everyone feels so about themselves too. In my case, I'm so contradicted that I confuse myself. It somehow feels like I'm not doing a good job of being me. 

Everyone knows me as the cute girl next door, a girl with a bright smile and positive thoughts, which I actually am. But I feel them cringing when discovering about the other side of me, the one that actually pretty naughty and wild, and because of that, I restrain from doing so, but that makes me feel bad about myself and makes me want to run away and disappear.

What's with all the social pressure that I have to get a job and get married after I finish school? Sure I want to do that, but there's something bugging me. Am I getting a job and getting married because other people do so? Am I getting a job because I need money? Or am I getting a job to prove that I am capable of something? Am I getting a job to use my full potential to earn for living? Am I getting married to show people that I, too, can find a guy and be loved? Am I getting married so I can have a huge party? Am I getting married because I'm in love? And what is love indeed? There are so many reasons, and some of them aren't supposed to be reasons of getting a job and married. 

It's not like I don't need money, or don't want to get married, because I do! I certainly do! The shopaholic here is in constant need of money to buy all the make up and new clothes and shoes and even tickets. The helpless romantic in me is dying to wear a wedding dress and staring at the eyes of the one I love while saying the vow to last forever and actually doing what I've promised to do (to last forever).

But I need to sort things out first, finding answers to my own questions, starting with myself, which is a messy question mark.

To be very honest, this is the first time in a long time I wrote my internal thoughts, I used to do this in the past, but I guess I'm afraid people will see me as someone bitter when they used to think I'm a sweet one; while in fact I am both. Holy crap I start to think I've been living a lie and a facade. Thank goodness for this blog that I got to write a diary and let people see that, it makes me feel better.

You may or may not agree with me and my thoughts, so you're all welcome to give me your 2 cents (or more!)

“The art of writing is the art of discovering what you believe.”

—	Gustave Flaubert.

I challenge myself

Let's see.. here I am again, wanting to write again, with so many things in my head, yes.. again. So I decided to challenge myself to talk just about anything I found randomly in my tumblr. So you see, tumblr has this "shuffle" icon which will lead me to random post, so I'm gonna click it and see what's the story behind the post, why did I reblog that and such, interesting enough? no? lol, let's see...

1.

~Tuesday, September 28~

Let's see... the things I don't like around here is that I don't know the year.. and I'm too lazy to check whih year has its September 28 on Tuesday. So I'm not really sure what was happening, but I'm guessing it should be around... the break up? I remember breaking up with my last ex at around August, so I guess I'm still heartbroken in September? Yeah, that must be it.

And I think, if that's not for that reason, it might be because the picture is pretty, lol. I mean look at the photograph! The colors! It's lovely, right? ;)

2. 

~Monday, February 28~

Okay this is not really interesting, but that's my headphone and I have two, one in blue and another in red. But I think I broke them two already and now I miss listening to music with full blast on. /sobs/  I mean, I can't go on without music really. This is bad, the time I enjoy the most is when I drive and listen to music along the way, I think it's the same to us all, right?

3.

~Saturday, August 14~

Aww... Isn't this very true? I'm such a sucker for lines like these... the word 'forever' and 'the rest of your life' got me. I mean, I know that's a very very long time. And the I'll start to think to spend it with someone I love, someone I adore, then I'll think.. like what they say in cheesy romantic songs, "forever isn't enough".

I want to have it like that, I know I won't spend the rest of my life all lovey-dovey and romantic filled with smoochies and hugs and pillow talks. I know there must be days when I fight, when we wrestle, when I'll cry, when I'll blame him for whatever he does (or doesn't)... but still, thinking about that excites me even more.

How fun!

4.

I still do, hahaha... even when we were in a relationship, my ex's wallpaper wasn't me /sigh/. And it's such a sweet thing to think that someone actually does stare at your face everytime they open their phone. Okay, maybe I shall limit this only to my boyfriend, it would be a little too creepy to have someone I don't know have my face in their phones, let alone set it as their wallpaper /shudders/

5.

cinta pertama tiara

hahaha… judulnya cinta pertama, padahal sampe sekarang masih nggak tau cinta itu apa… mungkin akan jauh lebih tepat kalo judulnya ‘kecengan pertama tiara’ okok, kebanyakan intro, langsung saja… (read more)

Okay, so this post was written in Indonesian and... it was about my first love. I was story telling... hahaha... oh gosh /facepalm/ this is embarassing but not really hahaha... Okay, I shall retell the story in english I guess..

I was 5-6 year old (yes, what?) I lived in Bandung, capital of west java (I moved a lot when I was a kid). So once upon a time, there was this little boy, my classmate. Like other little boys he loved running and played hide and seek with his/our friends. And he fell, and he cried, like a baby (which he was).

I was in the cafeteria, waiting for my... how do you call it, school bus? Yeah, something like that. So yeah, I bought MnM and I saw him falling and crying and being the good kid that I am I gave him my MnM, all of them, he thanked me and he gave me my MnM, the red one (and he ate the rest, really).

And I fell in love.

Because of MnM, which was actually mine.

Lol, this doesn't make sense, but love never makes enough sense (if you can call it love), let alone some random feelings a 5 year old kid had. So yeah...

Few weeks later I moved from that school to another city, I didn't even feel sad. hahahahaaha...

Okay, so this is actually quite fun, walking down the memory lane is definitely one of my hobbies. I love how cheesy I could get sometime when I fell in love and how... depressed I sound when I got my heart broken, I believe in what Steve Jobs one said about connecting the dots... something about what happened in the past makes you who you are now, yeah... something like that.

Will be back later, hopefully with something more interesting :)

Have a dream, make it real

Once upon a time, one of my dreams faltered, remember about the little resto I and my cousin opened for only about two weeks or so? Ah.. such bittersweet memory... But this littletiara is no quitter so no worries, I still have dreams, big dreams which include little cafery in it.

Why little cafery? Why not make it grand?

Because I am in love with little stuff (that 'little' in littletiara explains more than enough, I guess). I want to have my little cafery all over the world. So you know, it's like little invasion, you won't realize it but when you do it's already too late because you're already addicted to this little stuffs around you, and craving for more.

(amen!)

Anyway, I remember I've talked about this, though I am too lazy to look for the exact post. Maybe I should, later. I love doing this, planning and daydreaming; here are more details of what to guess about the little cafery...

I want everything in mini size! Seriously if I could hire oompa-loompas, I would! lol... I want to have it Alice in Wonderland themed. I want before people step in, they drink a welcome drink in a little bottle with a "drink me" tag.

I want people who enters feel bizarrely comfortable inside. I want once they're in they realize that something is wrong but not knowing what until they figured that everything is in smaller size :D yes, the chairs and tables, I want to make it as weird as possible, shall I use those chairs for kindergarten and make them more vintage-ish and charming? And wooden, I want them to be white wooden chairs.. maybe something like this but in a smaller size..

(nanny's pavilion)

YES! The chairs!

And the walls... the walls should be made of wood, recycled wood would be best. I love wood because it gives me such warm feeling, maybe it's just me, no?

(Slowpoke Espresso Cafe in Fitzroy, Australia)

and there would be sweets, your favorite sweets in so many flavors. Because I am one who gets bored easily even when eating, I tend to eat little but often. I assume most girls do (or is it just me? o.O) so instead of a plate of strawberry pancake, I'd serve five (or so) little plates of little pancakes in different taste.

and yes of course the pancakes must be mini sized, as does the other like...

mini cupcakes

macarons

right, of course mini macarons

mini waffles!

mini cakes :D

mini pancake yay!

Being the little narcissist me, of course my artwork should be everywhere on the wall, hahahaha...

Oh how fun to have it all! :D Well the plan is not yet finished and the concept is still raw, I still have times to think more about it, though. While of course saving and learning more about business.

Oh please do cross your fingers for me to have this dream come true :D

The night I cried my heart out

How long has it been since the last time you cried? It’s been long for me (excluding the times I cried for Korean dramas/movies that is) and some nights ago, for the hell of it, I cried out loud.

For no particular reason, or maybe for too many reasons, maybe I’ve kept all the sadness inside and that night was the night for me to let it all out, for whatever reason, I cried the hell out of me.

I cried out loud, and by out loud I meant the whole house could hear me, I didn’t try to stifle the sound, I didn’t try to hide the tears, I cried with my mouth open, I wailed, I threw tantrum, I kicked my imaginary enemy, I cried like a five year old girl who lost her favorite Barbie doll, I cried like some crazy woman.

Guess what? It felt good.

to wear the heart upon one's sleeve

How long has it been since the last time I posted here? Three weeks? a month? Time surely flies too fast to my liking. Anyway, how long exactly has it been since the last time I talked about boys? Any boys in my life? I can’t quite remember. Who was the last guy being talked about here? Was it le ex? That would be almost a year ago, seriously?

Okay, so I’m coming back, hopefully for good, and the opening story would be about a boy. Unfortunately, the story isn’t really a pretty one. Well, rest assured,  it’s not about a heartbreak (yet) because basically there’s no heart that’s breaking (yet, and hopefully there won’t be any). But you see… me and this new guy, we didn’t start off really good.

you can’t stick your toes in the water, 

you gotta jump and finally go underwater

Let’s just say that this guy is a friend, whom I wasn’t really close to but got closer as the time being.

It had been long long time since I really got smitten by a guy. I mean, how long has it been since the last time I told you about falling in love? I can’t answer it, I had long forgotten how it felt like. 

So, when there was a single little butterfly doing some somersaults movement in my tummy the moment he asked me out, I was in every kind of shock. I was afraid, but I was happy, I was so excited to the point of being terrified.

Which was not really a good thing.

When I am afraid (or nervous) I tend to do lots of silly things, like thinking that a booze would help me calm down a little bit, which was wrong. So, on our very first date (if you want to call it one) I was half drunk half nervous, not a nice combo. Really.

• I spilled my orange juice all over our table. Twice. (see how nervous I was? I'm not even sure what I was so nervous about)
• I talked half-consciously (blame the beer)
• I made so many silly expressions; like a cutesy one-you know, puppy eyes all night long (ew..).
• and I’m pretty much sure I said and did even more nonsensical things I don’t even want to remember.

Now, that was one of the worst starts I’ve ever made.

But, since I am kinda sure that I like this guy, I decided to follow what my heart says (not like I have any other choice) and wear it upon my sleeve. It doesn’t take a genius to guess about me liking him, and I’m sure he’s not stupid either. So yeah, I like him. Not in love (yet) but I really really like him.

When I think of why I do like him, what I like about him, I cannot quite pinpoint.

If I really have to write something about it, then it would be how he made me an honest girl, a damn honest one. I usually am one who hides disappointment to avoid further problems, it doesn’t occur to me when it’s him-related; when I am disappointed of what he does to me, I’ll say it out loud, when he makes me happy, I’ll make sure he knows, and the fact that I like him, like I’ve said before; is quite obvious for the whole world to know.

and about this fact alone, I am kinda proud of myself and thankful to him.

Does he like me back? I don’t know, most probably he doesn't (since I've done so many icky things a girl could ever do a lifetime only in a night). Am I sad about it? Yes, It's only normal that I do. Can I control this feeling? No, neither I can nor do I want to. Anyway, I couldn't care less about that right now, I am enjoying this “falling in like” time (right, not falling in love because it isn't).

While I know how annoying it is being pestered by someone I don’t really like, I just can’t stop being selfish and continue liking him shamelessly. I might, most probably, ended up in a heartbreak, (which I hope won’t ever happen however miraculously) then again, I will take care of that later when it happens.

Now, I need you to wish the best for me so I won't have to suffer from any heartbreak all over again. No matter how prepared I am, a heartbreak is still a heartbreak and whatever breaks, hurts. Especially when it's a heart.

don’t be careful with me I’m not so delicate I gave you my heart, I know the chance I’m taking 

(Meg & Dia – don’t be careful with me)

pictures from weheartit 

what this little lady dreams about

What do you want to be when you grow up?
A good wife and mother.

It’s a long post about me, and my dream, bear with it. :D

I'm a hopelessly romantic girl. Some other stronger girls maybe will laugh at me, at my need to have someone to lean on. But really, what I want is a wedding, a day marking someone agreed to be with me, bearing all the consequences. Someone I can run to, someone I spend my rest of my life with, someone I can share everything with, someone to build the future with.

The hardcore lover in me always think that wedding is such a grand idea. I praise whoever come up with this. If it was a religion I would be a faithful follower, if it was a lesson you learn in high school I would religiously attend every class and not skipping any of them at all. For me, it’s something so precious sometimes I’m afraid to talk about because I don’t want to jinx it, some other time I will talk about it like there’s no tomorrow because I want to share the happiness. Wedding dresses make me happy, wedding pictures got me smitten, attending a wedding ceremony makes me imagining things. I’m so scary, don’t you think?

You see… I am capable of imagining anything. They said when you meet your soulmate you won’t have hard time seeing yourself in the future with him. I never had any difficulties imagining whoever being with me in the future for goodness sake! Be it Milo Ventimiglia, Jensen Ackles (okay, let’s get more realistic here, lol), or my first crush when I was six, I can imagine myself in a house with them and kids running around.

So my biggest fear is for those dreams to not happen. There, I've said it. What if I never get a chance to marry anyone? What if I can't make anybody loves me? What if nobody wants to spend the rest of his life with me? What if I ended up alone?

Forget it, think happy thoughts instead.

What a happy day for me is a day start with someone by my side, lazy little smile and maybe snuggled up some more just because we can't get enough of each other warmth. A lazy breakfast, to start a slow, steady day, okay... maybe some days will be rushy and crazy but that wouldn't be mattered, we have each other.

I'll cook, yes, I'll make breakfast while he takes his bath, maybe I would join too, in one of the lazy days because sure thing it'll be a long bath with both of us, and that would mean he'll be late for work and his boss would be angry and we wouldn't want that. Wait, on second thought, maybe he should be his own boss, yes? Just like me. So instead of having a boss fuming up because he's late, we can put up a puppy eyes if his customer isn't quite pleased, there I can help him, puppy eyes is my specialty.

The breakfast would be simple, I hope he won't mind. What about a simple toast? And a hot coffee or chocolate? Or tea? in the morning and little talk about the plans of what to do today. Yeah, that sounds about right for me.

And once the hubby is gone to work, I'll have the day to clean the house and do my own business, and preparing lunch (and dinner), go to the grocery store and off to do some shopping. Maybe once in a while, I'll get to catch up with my friends, old friends, new friends, and have some girly (or more likely 'womanly') talk. I know I'll ramble, with dreamy eyes about my hubby. How proud I am of him for how he can handle me in my weird mood -because I can be reaaaaally annoying in my worst mood, and maybe we'll exchange recipes, food, or something else (like some "how to tame a man in bed" tricks).

I'll work at home, I'll do what I love to do, just like what hubby does; because that way we'll be happy. A job shouldn't be burdening, right? I want to create something, I still want to open up a little shoppee for my artwork, I imagine myself being in love over and over and over again with this man, and the inspiration gonna be endless, flowing just like a river without winter, never frozen, never dried. If I can dream a little more then I would pray really hard for a little cafery, where people can chill out and just sit for hours.

I'll prepare dinner, I'll wait for him to come back home (or maybe he'll just have to do his job at home -wonder if it'll work, I'll come and distract him every time, though... because I'll miss him, and come to his room and voila! No work is done, lol. Okay, so maybe I need to learn more about self-control).

One of the days, I might be too lazy and will just call him to bring food home, or ask him to cook instead or we'll call a delivery service, or we'll go to our favorite restaurant in town and have a nice dine together OR we'll pay a visit to our parents' houses -we'll surely get some food there, right? lol.

Isn't that simple? My dreams? A whole day filled with love, on repeat, forever, with little surprises everywhere (you see... like 'surprise! you're gonna be a papa!' or 'surprise! RAAWR...' -ha!).

I don't dream of huge mansion with thousand of maids who will bow to me when I pass by them, I don't think I'll need a chauffeur, maybe a maid would help me cleaning up but that is all I need. I'm not gonna whine for huge diamond rings, though I won't mind receiving it.

I love little, simple happiness, like hugging and twirling around the room before heading off to bed, humming to each other songs only us understand (because most of the time it would be off-tune but none of us would be bothered by it). Like a little dance in the kitchen with ear to ear smiles plastered on our faces, because I'll need to learn to cook more, because I love spending times in the kitchen, and because I know, one way or another he would sneakily hug me from behind and distract me and maybe we'll end up with burnt inedible food, it's okay, there are heaps of restaurants out there, right? I won't even ask for thousands of roses, I'll pick a single stalk of sunflower instead. Sure a sunflower field would be great, but some sunflowers at the backyard would be enough.

Rent some DVDs and watch them until we both fall asleep, spontaneous date (or picnic, or anything really), a trip to disneyland or just any funfair, a night long talk of just talk and listen, or a long night with no talk nor listen but something else *wink.

I know there will be fights, little fights (especially because I am me) but then I hope there’s nothing out love can’t conquer (damn, it’s getting a little too cheesy even for me!).

So you see, even if I can't get the maid, the diamond ring, or the little dance, or the sunflower, that would still be more than enough for this little lady (one way or another, I'll get what I want anyway -I'm good at whining and persuading people, alright) only to have someone by her side for her to love, one who loves her endlessly.

Oh, but please please please don't leave the late night snack behind.

ohai ups and downs!

Oh right! I’m here! With news, some important news! And thoughts, and I don’t know what else, lol.

So… on with the news?

1. The little cafe had opened, and closed.

Now, how crazy does that sound? It was opened for about two weeks and then closed forever just like that. It’s hard to explain why without pointing finger at someone else so I don’t think I wanna do that.

I was happy with it, but I felt something was off. You wouldn’t want to know how many times I cried myself out alone in the dark because I don’t want people to know how depressing it was. I didn’t even understand what was so depressing about it.

Once, days got too hard to bear and I couldn’t let anyone know, I couldn’t let my parents know I was unhappy, I couldn’t let my partners know, so I asked Le Boy to come and hug me because only in front of him I could act like myself. I put off all my strong facade and just melt there in silence. Thank goodness he let me.

Well, now that the little cafe had closed just when people start to notice it and ask me about it, I felt a little heartbroken. The hardest part would be explaining to people why was it closed, all those questioning eyes, and the disdain they hold… I know it will disappear in time, though.

All in all, I don’t really regret this, I know it’s for the best.

2. Me and Le Boy? Weird stuff.

Remember this long love letter I wrote? It was supposed to be given to him on his birthday but well, things happened and I didn’t get the chance to. I gave it to him last week anyway. I’m not sure if he understands it wholly, though. Haha… at least he understand the “I love you” parts, right?

We’re still in this weird relationship, I think. At least for me it’s weird.

We did went out once in a while, the last time was when I got the news that the little cafe was closed for real, I asked him to accompany me to timezone. We did have fun, lots of them :) good time.

Man, I’ve been telling myself so many times to just stop stop. I mean, remember what happened to me and the best friend? I spent my.. how many years? Two? Three? to love him? And it all ended when I finally confessed to him all my feelings. Now, what am I to do with this feeling to Le Boy? Why am I so hard-headed? I mean… sigh, just stop already and look for someone new, tiara! lol.

Things are always easier said than done, right?

3. Projects with the best friend.

Business partners is what we are! I am so glad with it! I mean, when I don’t know what to do, he reminds me that I still have him around and we still have projects to do! Projects recycling is on the way, and business plans are made :D seriously, this is fun.

This newest competitions we’re joining have a very fun prize. Other than money, it’s a 4 days trip to either London, Japan or Singapore :) you see how tempting that is? Hahaha… I kinda hope for Japan and crossing my fingers to visit Japan Disneyland (because they said the hello kitty balloons are cuter there).

4. Tangled!

cute artwork! I’m pretty much in love with it! 

I know it’s kinda late but I will watch Tangled 3D tomorrow! Man, I’m such a sucker for disney’s fairytales. I mean, they’re sucky and cheesy and I just can guess how it would end “and they live happily ever after” right? But still… I am SO curious about this Rapunzel movie. I didn’t even got hyped about Princess and the Frog.

Maybe because it’s hard to find a partner to accompany me watch this movie? Everyone thinks it’s childish, it’s Disney’s and it’s a Fairytale remake. Even Le Boy rejected me (yeah, heartbroken here *kicks Le Boy*) but I’ve got myself a friend! Yayness! We’ve been planning to hangout since forever but both are too busy with our own lives.

This is one great excuse,haha!

5. The Ring has arrived!!!

Remember this pretty ring?

Remember that I told you someone sent it to me? Remember I promised you I would tell you once the ring arrive?

Do you know it took almost 4 months for this ring to land here save and sound at last? This crazy ring had made me and Kym nervous for the whole time, lol. Oh wait, Kym? Yes, you read it right, Kym from Herrohachi was the one who sent me this!

Do you believe in Karma? I do. Guess what? She sent me this ring, she got her own ring from her boyfriend (now is fiancé, congrats Kym!) and I couldn’t be any happier! I mean, I LOVE weddings! Hahaha…

Maybe I should send out some rings too? So someone would eventually propose? Hahaha… Okay, I’m starting to get delusional. ;P

Thank you Kym! I really couldn’t thank you enough!

So, 2010 had definitely been the craziest rollercoaster ride. I learnt so much, I experienced so much, I want to explore so much more! :) I am not afraid, you hear what they say?

Young and restless.

Why stop dreaming when you wake up?

this is a long post, with lots of Mojo jojos. If you don’t understand what I mean, read on, lol. I’ve warned you, okay? ;P


So when I was done with all the thesis related stuff next was I have to run (literally) from one campus building to another everyday to get all the graduation-related things done.

Now, it’s all finished! All I have to do is to wait until August 19th when I’d be standing proudly in a graduation ceremony (or maybe sitting quietly, whatever, lol)

YAY! 

   

LITERATURE BACHELOR BIATCH! MWAHAHAHAHA… 

I can’t tell which one makes me happier, to finally graduated from a place I’ve been studying (if I really ever do that) for almost 4 years (3 years 9 moths), to prepare myself facing the real world (which until now I still don’t know what), or to get free from any homework and have as many time as I want to spend drawing and cooking and knitting and do all those girly (I love) stuffs.



Yes, I’ve been wanting to cook/bake since forever but I couldn’t find the perfect time when thesis was still around, but now, I can cook/bake anything I want! I think I’m gonna start it off with a chocolate cake, I have strawberries, and some golden raisin, and pineapple jam, and I know I can add extra cheese to top it. I promise I’ll share once I made it ;D (not sure with the recipe, though, I think I’ll just mix ‘em all in a bowl, lol).

--and maybe some little cupcakes later, and puddings, and tarts… and… ohhh… the possibility is endless! Mwahahaha!!!


And to sew/stitch! I know I know, it’s a new hobby, but looking around etsy and blogsphere, I found so many interesting (and say, easy to do) stitched artworks, what I want to make first? It’s this lovely embroidered love note…



next!

For sure, I’d love to spend more times drawing! It’s been forever since the last time I did this fun thing! (Oh wait, I did make some doodles last night, if you can call it an artwork, lol)

 

And it’s adorable how I put it in weheartit and 5 hours later found 20 people have hearted my artwork, I love that site! I’ll post all my artworks there and people will heart it and I’ll rule the world! Mwahahahaha…

And to read the books I’ve bought when I didn’t even have time to read anything other than someone else’s thesis, all theories-related stuff, Greimas biography, Actantial scheme and such… Now I have the time of my life I can already imagine I read myself to sleep everyday. Yayness!

And you know that book is the window of the world or something? I read a book, I rule the world! Mwahahaha…


Anyway, as I said in the previous post, nikolett gave me a very interesting award. It’s the
You're Going Places, Baby award! Thank you :)

 
The Rules: Describe where you think you'll be in 10 years and then pass it along to 10 other bloggers!

Fine, it’s one of my biggest dream right now, and I’ve talked about this before, but here’s a little more detailed imagination:

Ten years from now I’d be 31, at that age I’d hopefully be married to someone I dearly love, in a little cute home, with a kid or two, aged and matured but still playful and enjoy the fun side of life, would still be able to smile as much as I do right now because they say the older you get the less you will, and I won’t want my life that way.


I want to have my one little (with branches everywhere?) little cakery.

I know, cakery is not a word, I made it up, lol. But hey! Google and Googling weren’t too once!

Why little? Because I love little things! Have you ever seen so many pretty food you want to taste them all but found yourself would be too full and bloated if you do so? I got that every single time!

So I’d sell little cupcakes, little tarts, little cookies, tea in pretty little glasses, even dishes, all in little plates! everything’s are mini sized, you won’t be too full until you insist to taste them all, and you’ll be craving for more, and littletiara with her little cakery will rule the world! mwahahaahaa...



Okay, enough Mojo jojo-ing.

My paintings/artworks would be displayed everywhere in that little comfy place, you can read (my) books too, and spend as many time as you want with your friends there. (I have this dream to draw a book, remember?).


In my imagination I’d be earning bucks from my artworks and that little cakery, and my book, and… I don’t know, I want to do all the things existed in this world. Is that called greed or curiosity?

Hopefully by then I’d have met at least ten of my bloggy friends and have traveled to at least ten countries (why ten? Because it’s ten years from now, lol).

So now I’m tagging my friends? Let’s see… Sheri, Emily, Kym, Gracie, Dionne, Mariella, Mel, Namine, Elissa, and Rika

Fine, now I’m gonna start ruling the world before the powerpuff girls hear about this newly born Mojo Jojo.

 
Oh well, here they come… Ciao bella!

(pictures are from weheartit, pinksuedeshoe and google)