What I’m up to lately

Been in a low spirit lately and I’m not sure why... it feels like I’m losing motivation(?). It’s so weird... so when I want to draw I’m not sure what I want to draw because I’m bored of my own style like... whuuut... how could this happen? Seriously... I wonder if I’ve been too much on a business mode that all I could think when drawing was will the public like it, what’s the current trend, how to make lots of money? I think that, in itself, is not healthy...

Now I wonder how to make it back to normal, I think I should set my thinking into making drawing a fun activity instead of wanting to sell it later (but I still will sell it later, heh)

I’ve been making totebags and the speed of the production isn’t exactly to my liking but some parts of it was.caused by myself like I can’t totally work on it except on weekends which makes it reaaaally reaaally slow when I have to make adjustments and changes. Crossing my fingers I cna have everything done next week.

So I’ve been thinking if I want to make it a basic one or should I make it a liittle more innovative (like making it a reversable totebag x backpack), I think I like the latter better... because it will be more useful and unique... and honestly I think I should process more of my pics (I’m only using 4 of my pics right now... I have like a dozen in my collections, actually) so I won’t get too bored staring ta my own creation... hmmm...

After this, I’m planning to make a sling multi pouch and a basic stringbag. I’m still looking for the best material to use for stringbag, I need something light but strong... hmmm... will have to consult about it later... I think baby canvas will be suitable but let’s see if we have something better in store.

Writing about this actually makes me feel more excited about the project... heheh.. I can’t wait to show you what I make once it’s done ;*

Cards I used in Japan

I'll be making a more useful post this time, it's about the cards I used when I was in Japan, mostly to commute but some can do even more than that! Hehe..

1. JR Pass

The holy JR Pass everyone's keep wondering if it's worth it to buy JR Pass when visiting Japan. For me, it is! Like totally! Because I landed in Kansai and traveling all the way to Tokyo and then get back home from Kansai again, it really saved my money (A WHOLE LOT) by having JR Pass, since Shinkansen can be reaaaally expensive I'd rather spend it on something else.

Honestly, when I first bought my ticket and realized that I had to buy a JR Pass I got a mental breakdown, because although it was supposed to help us save money, it still cost quite a lot too! I bought mine around 29,000 JPY (around 260 USD), as it could only be purchased outside Japan I wasn't sure if I should (but thank God I did!)

So more about this card, as I've mentioned before, can only be purchased outside Japan and for non-Japan residents only, in short, this card help tourists to explore Japan. Once you have purchased it, you can use it whenever you're traveling on JR train and other JR transportation. This includes most of the train in the city and Shinkansen. All you had to do is show this card on the exit/entrance gate (where there's an officer) and they'll check if your card is still valid, if it is, then you can go everywhere all you like~ (as long as you're using the JR lines)

So if you're going to use Shinkansen a lot like me (I traveled back and forth Osaka and Tokyo, I also visited Nagoya), I advise you to purchase it, I've said it multiple times, but it really saved me lots of money.

2. Suica/Pasmo

Bought this card when I met my friend and somehow my JR pass was rejected (they said the JR pass doesn't cover that station-but I still firmly believed that we just went to the wrong gate and showed the pass to the wrong person, I mean, it was Akihabara! No way JR pass doesn't cover that!)

Anyway, this card is useful for many things, if you don't need to purchase JR pass, then this card is the way to go. You can use this card for all train stations, including the smaller subway ones. I mostly use it for that (my station was a subway away from Shibuya).

Other than that, you can use the card for locker, and also to purchase goods in most convenience store. So I think this one is pretty much like the T-card in Korea.

I noticed there are several brands of the cards, but most of the time I saw Suica and Pasmo, guess they're the most popular ones (or the ones from biggest companies).

Bringing this card is pretty useful to lessen the amount of coins in my pocket, so I don't have to bring them everywhere and instead just tap this card and go.

3. One-day card (in Nagoya)

I'm not sure if other cities (or Tokyo) have this, too. Since I only used it when I was in Nagoya. The card costed me 740 JPY, and once purchased I can use it to go to every station in Nagoya. The concept is pretty much similar with JR Pass but this one you insert it into the machine instead of just showing it to the officer.

According to my friend, Mekkan, we saved quite a lot with this because we traveled to lots of stations back and forth. So instead of purchasing one-way ticket, if you're going to go places, you may want to consider this one-day card.

Well, that was all the cards I used in Japan. Hopefully some of you who'd planned to travel there find this useful :) If there's any misinformation, please tell me, I'll edit them since it's only based on my knowledge and experience when I was there.

Ah! Can't wait to travel and discover some more!

Konnichiwa and I think soulmate does exist

Just a week ago I finally went to Japan. I remember few years back I wrote that I really wanted to go there and Bangkok, yes! I can scratch them off my list now because I've visited them both!

I'm not really a huge fan of Bangkok, most probably because it looks and feel really similar with Jakarta, which I'm used to. But Japan... Oh Japan, what a beautifully absurd weird magical place you are!

I plan to write a more detailed post about this visit to Japan day by day, but just in case I forgot or just got carried away with life (like I did when I visited Seoul the second time), I'll write the highlight here first of what happened while I was there.

Day 1: Speedy Shinkansen and Busy Shibuya

I've heard of this speedy train since I was a kid, who would've thought I'd be given a chance to ride it one day? Feels sooo lucky! And indeed it was really fast! Like ultra super uber fast! Especially compared to the trains here back home.

I took a video when I rode one, and it was like I took the video on a time-lapse mode (while it wasn't!!!) WHOA! Hehehe... I feel like a such noobs but really, Japan is indeed steps more advanced in everything, lol.

Also, briefly visited Harajuku and Shibuya cross at night, most of the shops are closed when we got to Harajuku, but of course we could still shop in Daiso and Matumoto Kiyoshi, meheheh..

Day 2: Disneyland!

Oh the happiest place on earth, indeed! Mind you, this was the first time I visited any Disneyland, unlike you lucky fellow who lives in the US or Europe, Hongkong and Tokyo Disneyland is the closest Disneyland to my country. So please understand my giddiness arriving here. MWAHAHAH... The little kid in me jumped and soared and flied and shopped and GUH! Everything! Hehe..

Also, we got to see the crowded Tokyo subway in the morning, and by crowded I meant super-ultra crowded there's no more place to stand but you still have to enter the cars because the next subway is as crowded as this one.

Day 3: Senso-ji, Asakusa, Skytree, and Halaal Ramen

pardon my messy sweaty face lol

I met with a friend who's currently studying in Japan, so today, we're going to a popular temple in Asakusa. Met with some pretty girls wearing kimono and entered the temple. It really was a cool experience, although I didn't buy any lucky charm (because I'm pretty petty and I'm not sure what I want lol).

After that, we randomly decided to go to Skytree (just because we can see it from the temple) and walked(!) there! It was pretty far, but the scenery along the way is really pretty and clean, we went through some neighborhood and everything is just so cute!

And because we are muslim, it's kind of a challenge to find halal food in Japan (because most of them contains pork or alcohol). So my friend took us to Halal Ramen, yay!

Day 4: Shopping, shopping, and more shopping! (AKA Shibuya, Tokyo Station, and Ginza)

We dedicated this day to spend our money shopping! LOL, literally all we visited was stores after stores and areas with shops lined up. We spent most of our morning in Shibuya (again, because there are lots of shops there). then moving on to character street where we found souvenirs of almost all characters I've seen on TV on Sunday morning back then.

After that, we went to Ginza and visited GU (to buy some Sailormoon merchandise). And basically spent the rest of our night there.

Not sure if we have any pics of this day since all we did was busy shopping.

Day 5: Meet my bloggy friend: Mekkan, in Nagoya!

We rode Shinkansen again today, to Nagoya! 

This marks my short history of life, the day I finally met one of my very first bloggy friend: Mikari from My Hodgepodge. Totally didn't expect this to happen although I did inform her when I planned to go to Japan. Oh, what a happy day! I'm really totally overwhelmed with the fact that I actually met her! Will blog more details about this happy meeting in a separate post later~

We visited the Nagoya castle and Mikari, being local and volunteering as guide in the castle told me detailed stories about each place we visited, and it totally awed me how every single details have meanings, even the garden!

Also, we met NINJAS!!! Mwuahahahah...

I kinda wish I have spent more time in Nagoya with Mikari, it's really too bad that my time was limited and I had to go back to Tokyo again in the evening because we'll have to go back to Kansai the next day *sobs*

Next time I visit Japan, I plan to stay on more secluded area (compared to the busy Tokyo) like Osaka and Nagoya to experience the culture and interact more with people!

Day 6: Quick Shopping Spree and Going Back to Osaka

Because our flight will be at 11 AM tomorrow, we decided to go back to the airport in the evening and stayed the night in the airport (because who knows what kind of rush we will have to go through if we directly go from Tokyo).

So we did some (really) quick shopping spree in Harajuku and Shibuya until noon then heads to Osaka (with Shinkansen again!) and continued to Kansai to sleep in. Really fortunate that there are lots of spaces to rest in Kansai airport, also, lots of other travelers spending the night there like us, heheh...

Day 7: Going back home

Ah, the part I hate the most... I felt really sad riding the Shinkansen the day before just when the scenery passed by me, I really didn't want to go! It's actually not always like this when I travel. I guess this is the part where I talk about the soulmate I mentioned in the title. Just like Korea, Japan holds a really special place in my heart.

I'm not really sure how or why, but it just do, it clicks right in and fits like a glove. I think that's how it works with soulmate. I have traveled to some countries, but only Japan and Korea left me feeling sad and makes me want to go back for more with such strong pull. Of course I did enjoy the other countries (and cities) too, but... there's just something inexplicable... you know, like the bizarre concept of soulmate.

I guess that was it. I'll be back for more just like what I do with Seoul, got people questioning me why I travel there again and again, guess it's the chemistry between us that calls on me. Now, in addition to Seoul/South Korea, I have Japan on my list.

Hello Two thousand (sweet) seventeen!

Tomorrow will be my blog bloggiversary, if I'm not wrong (as far as I remember I started writing on this blog on 2nd January, but I kinda forget the year, I think... 2009?).

Year 2016 had been a ride, a wacky, weird ride, but really grateful of it. I think I'm ready to move on even further in 2017, yay! Hehe..

January

So what had happened? I visited some new placed and going traveling quite a lot. I started the year going for Umra to Mecca-Medina with my whole family. It's some sort of little pilgrimage for us Muslim. And although most of the time I feel like I wasn't worthy to be there, yet, I feel really thankful and emotional being able to visit the holy cities and places.

I am not your most religious person you'll ever  meet, so I wasn't really confident visiting all the holy places. It feels weird, I felt like a naughty kid visiting the principal office, you know that feelings? You know you've made a bunch of mistakes and somehow you have to go there, like it's an honor but you're not sure if you should be there. 

And when you were there, you were all nervous and shaky and afraid but then the principal just hug the hell out of you and whispers "it's okay, it's okay, you can still be a good kid," that was what I felt and for some reason, I cried. I mean, yeah... that was exactly what happened to me.

March

(pics not mine, found on pinterest)

Moving on to March, my birthmonth, I always spend it traveling someplace new, and last year I chose Kuala Lumpur, Malaysia. Originally I was about to visit Penang also, but then I got lazy and just stroll around KL instead, lol. Oh, and I went there with my Mom. She's becoming a traveler like me, haha.. now whenever I plan to go somewhere she will tag along, nah... scratch that, she travels more than I do now.. gee~

The food in KL is superb! I have not found anything I don't like. Like seriously, how can everything tastes sooo goood? Even their Burger King and McD is better than I have ever tasted anywhere in this world! Lolol.. but really, though.. (Maybe because I walked too much and got super hungry? Hehe..)

Anyways, it was a birthday trip well spent. I got really close with my Mommy and we got to take a lot of pics (because when I travel alone I never really remember to).

June

Around June (I think), something happened, I got unwell that I decided to go to the hospital to get it checked, turned out I have a cyst and it would be advised to have it removed through surgery. And starting from this point on, I should start my healthy lifestyle because this illness basically coming from unhealthy habit of a career women o(>___<")o like eating junk food and lack of fruit/veggies/fiber, too much meat and overheated food, grilled food, soda, etc and also stress. Also, because I am at the age of reproducing so my body is kinda ready but nothing happens to it so it causes an imbalance (it produces hormones that's gone to waste since I'm not reproducing yet, something like that..).

So I went through the surgery, healed properly (and surprisingly fast, since I'm actually not sick..) and now I'm living a healthier life. Food and everything, I can manage, now that I am aware of my condition, those MSG-filled food doesn't appeal to me that much anymore. Also, I try to always eat veggies and fruits. The one that's kinda hard to tackle is the stress one, which was actually the biggest factor I should avoid. 

Honestly, I thought of myself to be someone not really easily stressed out, I am someone who takes things slow and not force myself too much. But lately, job's been really hectic and I can feel myself stressing out and then I got even more stressed out because I know I can't be too stressed lololol... oh well this is hard haha..

I really like the job I'm doing right now, even though it's been a little stressful lately but the ambiance and atmosphere is nice, I also feel that my voice was heard and is useful, and that I contribute something to the company. When I first entered, it feels like I'm watching a baby growing up, because it literally was still a baby. It'll only be 2 years this year. So we're still wiggling and figuring things out.

It's actually really amazing to see, and I feel like the baby is growing up already, now it can walk and sometimes even run. Guess that's why it's been more stressing lately, because my energy can't keep up with it yet. But more than anything, I want to have my own baby too..

I've been thinking of resigning (again, but this time isn't because I don't like it here), and really focusing on my own business (drawing and artwork and everything). I've been drawing quite a lot this year, but since I can only create them on my free time (weekends, mostly), I feel like I haven't been really productive. Although this is kinda scary, too... since it's actually really risky... I'm not sure if I won't ever be bored doing that, for example.. hehe..

Also, I noticed most of my entrepreneur friends, they're starting to get bored with their business since it can already walk on its own, which is a good thing, actually. They just want to find something new to do, be it another new business or new activities. I'm glad that we're moving on and about, and not simply be satisfied with what we have but instead get hungry for more. I think it's a good thing.

I guess, at this age, we want to do anything and everything possible to us. Hopping to new chances and taking all the risks, at least that way, there'll be no regrets of not doing something. And I've been thinking, I should jump and take my leap pretty soon. So yeah, 2017 it is. Guess I'll stay until... Maybe March/April, or max June while preparing for the little business. After that, let's cross our fingers that I can run the business smoothly. I still have so many things to learn and I'm actually pretty excited about it.

So let's crush 2017 and make the most out of it! Let's go!

Seoul Adventure part.3

This one's so long overdue and has been in my draft since... forever! It's even so dusty already lol. Anyway, I'll post it here so someday when I want to read it again, I can. Also, of course share it with all of you :) I'd love to write more about the adventure but I'm not sure my memories is still intact since it's been... what... 2-3 years? kkk I've even gone there again with my mom and brother so yeah.. Anyway, enjoy this one! Haha

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How long has it been since I wrote about my Seoul adventure? Ah well, here I am continuing it again because I just have to share my adventure with you (also, because I have nothing to do at work right now, lol).

So here is the third part, where I will share you what happened in my 2nd day in Seoul (still a loooong way to go! Just in case you forget, I stayed for TEN days!).

The second day started off nicely with me having a breakfast with yet another new friend, her name is Krista (if I remember correctly), she was from... uh... Canada, I think. And she was in Seoul for only two days before she continued on her journey to Japan. Basically she was just visiting her friends in Seoul, which was Jake, the owner of the guesthouse I stayed in. So yeah~

We hit it off quite nicely, in fact, very nicely that by the end of our breakfast session we decided to go shopping together to Edae because she had nothing to do and I seem like a nice companion (lol, amen!). So off we go! Two girls who were strangers just an hour before!

We visited the magnificent Ewha Women University. I really love the architecture of this place, it has this classic Victorian touch. And of course we had to snap snap some pictures. Edae (Ewha univ) for me is a perfect place to shop. Because it has like one of the most famous women university, it is surrounded with cute little boutiques and make up stores (and cute cafes too!).

So yeah, me and Krista had a fun time shopping, choosing clothes for each other like we've been friends since forever, while in fact we just met that morning. Krista gotta go back to the hostel before me, though. Because she had to meet her other friends. And although we might not gonna meet ever again, the memories of our shopping adventure shall be written here so I won't forget, right?

I continued my shopping spree alone after that, if I remember correctly, I bought a pair of new shoes. The owner thought I was a 18 year old girl, lol. Since it happened to me often so I'm no longer surprised, but of course, I'm proud about it, kkk~ :P (there was one time I wasn't allowed to stay in a hotel in Busan because the staff thought I was under-aged! -c-)

I came back with heaps of shopping bags and it was only my second day there, later in the evening I went out for a jog in Han river (again), and went to see YG building (again), I just had to.. haha... I mean, I only have 10 days so of course I have to spend all of it staring at the building I love so much. And Han River is just so... calming and soothing. I originally wanted to rent a bike but I wasn't sure how to, so I ended up walking to the river.

Basically I spent the day shopping and staring at the river, nothing much, I guess... but the most precious would be gaining a new friend to shop together with! It is something addicting and I would love to experience all over again!

December to Remember

It's already December 2016, which means it's almost 7 years I've owned this blog. Not that I'm fully active here anymore but oh well.. it holds like seriously so much memories here! I always have fun re-reading my older posts and I can't wait to write more.

But I'm getting so busy!!! WHYYYY...

Oh well, it's a good thing, but I kinda wished I have more time to spend for myself... mmm~

Since December is here, this year's almost gone by... I can't believe it omg! -__-" I'm almost 28 aaahh...

So many things happened this year, one of the biggest one is one of my closest friend passed away. He was seriously living his life in a fast lane. And totally living his life to the fullest. I always love hanging out with him because I always do something new or meet new people or found new food to eat. He's like totally adventurous and talented and creative and friendly that he has friends literally every single where!

I cried so hard when he passed, partly because I regretted not spending more time with him when he was sick. The last time I met him, he was already unconscious I'm not sure he knew I was there. And most of the time, since we spent so many times hanging out together, I forgot that he's no longer around. Sometimes I find a new restaurant and thinking "Oh! I should tell him about this, I think he'll love it!" and then I realize that I can't do that anymore. That he's not only gone travelling for a couple of months or even years, he's gone and not coming back ever and that's really hard to accept but I've come to embrace it now, I think.

I can now talk about him without getting teary-eyed, and I can remember him in everything.

And this really taught me to live my life to the fullest. And to never take any relationship for granted. I tried contacting all my old friends, catching up with them and hanging out with them. Sometimes it's awkward, but most of the times, it's not :)

So I kinda miss him right now, but I think I'm good. I will remember to always pray for him and everyone around me.

Guess I have to prepare myself for 2017 now? Hehe..

Life Lately

I'm still aliveeeee! Hehe... Just have to say it, I mean like.. ehehe... Sorry I kinda disappeared but.. eh, you know... life happens and I just kinda leave my laptop in the office (everyday) so I couldn't update but other than that yeah... I was just... lazy.. :p

Anyway, I'm back now! Kkkk~ this is like the 1972836463 times I am back lol... sooooo uh.. what's up? Hehe.. anyone miss me? :3 no? uhm... okay.. lol...

SO I've moved to (back) to Yogyakarta, which is practically my hometown and got a pretty cute nice job here. I mean, so far, it's not as boring as what I did before, lol. And I love that I got to connect to people more, I get to meet more people too. So I guess, drawing as a job isn't really for me. I mean, I love doing it as a hobby but I don't want to do it as an obligation, it makes drawing feel more boring and losing the fun part.

Now about my life here, I've surprisingly started drawing even more now that it is not my job (lol). I use it as an escape, so I'm not doing the same thing all the time :3 you get what I mean?

Life's been good, I enjoy my job, I love my free time, I made new friends, so yeah~ life's good!

And guess who's coming to Korea again this Halloween? Yay! LOL. This time I'll go there with my mom and brother! LOL xD seriously, though... I just thought this year I don't want to explore alone, so I contacted my list of friends and ask them but eeeh... I guess it's just too sudden (yeah, I love doing spontaneous stuff soo..) and then I remembered my brother and he agreed, and I told my mom asking for permission and she was like "I wanna join too!" lol... so there we go..

I've been looking for a decent place to stay and try to make a decent itinerary (since I never had one). LOL, this is kinda new, I imagine things will be quite hectic since mommy is included but I guess it'll be more fun, too! xD

Marching On

March is my birth month, and it has proven itself to be mine to march on. After everything and all the drama (that hasn't quite ended yet, but no worry, nothing is too dramatic anyway). 

So I've finally gotten (two!) job offers, and I have yet to make a decision. Both companies are really different, and I still have to do some more interviews, while I've been accepted in the other company. Another huge difference is that one locates in my hometown, while another is in Jakarta, the huge huge city. Also, one is a small start-up company while the other is a big fast moving customer goods company.

The next interview in the big(ger) will be held next week, and I am honestly unsure of what I want. The possibility of working in this huge company in a huge city where it's hard to commute anywhere because, let's face it, Jakarta is the no.1 city with worst traffic jam in the world. Scary enough? 

While Yogyakarta, my hometown, despite being not-so-huge, is a totally homey place (like of course, it's my hometown anyway. You know, it has this traditional flavor, but still steadily following the trend and  whatever is popular right now. In fact, it has gotten more crowded the last few years (but of course, nothing compares to Jakarta).

Anyway, let's just cross fingers for the best, since the future is always so unsure I've decided to take one step at a time and enjoy everything in the progress, the point is, I am finally free from my current (soon-to-be previous) company. Hoho! I still have to gather up my courage to give the resignation letter (today!), to my manager, though. I've talked about it to my supervisor and now is the time for the manager.

In another note, my birthday is coming in FOUR days, gosh! I'm really getting old! And I will celebrate my birthday in the paradise island! Yes yes, Bali here I come! YAY! Apparently, I take marching on kinda literally this year. Let's go!

March on. Do not tarry. To go forward is to move toward perfection. March on, and fear not the thorns, or the sharp stones on life's path.-Khalil Gibran

To Enjoy my Time

I've ranted enough about how I feel pretty uncomfortable with my job and being in my office all day. So here's what I do to somehow aid the boredom... yes, of course, drawing~

I've been in love with drawing some big haired girls, I just love making the swirly hair, honestly. Hehe... And I've been thinking of what I could make out of these pictures. Maybe print it and make some cushion cover or something.

made it on my post-it note. Hehe..

not sure if I like it better with colors, what do you think?

Also, I've been in love with watercolor. Been doodling and everything using watercolor. You can say I've done some experiment. Sadly, I can't do this in my office. Anyway, did it on my free time on the weekends or after office hours is over. Sometimes I'm too tired to even think but some other time I'm feeling pretty much inspired. So yeah~

Uhm, excuse my ugly handwriting, and messy typography. It's just that I love writing motivational message, it seems. I haven't tried to create something more like a painting, I've just been doodling here and there, um~

to plan a trip

Hello, dear lovelies!

Well, I've decided that instead of feeling blue, I will simply try my darndest to find a new fun job and keep being happy with land what little friends I have around me (including you, of course!). Well, sad to say that I haven't gotten a new, happier place to work, but at least I'm coping quite well. Not that I'm getting myself used to the uncomfortable place, rather, I channel my energy to focus on more positive things to pass the day, at least this way my days pass rather happily.

Also, to take a breath (and skip working, lol) once in a while when I feel like everything's too stuffy. Hehe~ not sure if it's a good thing to do but so far so good and I've done my job quite well so nobody complaints so yeah.

Anyway, I read somewhere yesterday on how to make yourself happier. Other than the famous "being thankful" and "smile to strangers" there is a quite new point, that is "to plan a trip". Why yes, that's exactly what's been making me happier these days, haha...

I've been lusting to go on a trip again, like gosh seriously, it's time to go out and about again! I need to jump in water and breathe fresh air and play in the sand and do some serious shopping spree and meet new people and eat delicious random food and have a random conversation and make new friends, alright?

So what I've been doing is seriously staring at my computer looking for the cheapest way possible to go to Thailand, because... I don't know, this year, it's time for Thailand (and maybe Japan)! And instead of the flashy Bangkok, I'm thinking of a more quiet Krabi, with all them beaches and yummy seafood... yeah yeah, sounds pretty nice, right? Now if only I can find the best price to go there. Well, it isn't really super-duper-expensive-I-can't-afford-it, it's just that I've seen my friends bought a far cheaper tickets so I'm kinda curious (and challenged) to find it too, lol.

See, something as simple as planning a trip is making me far happier than my last post, right? ;)

oh, my not so gliterry new year post

2015 started off quietly, and kind of nicely. But who am I kidding, only 5 days into the new year and I've already had a headache and this so-confused-and-tired-I-just-feel-like-breakdown-and-cry moment. I am sorry to post such a depressing blog post in a beginning of a new year where everything is supposed to be bright and cherry and filled with new hopes. But I guess maybe I'll just start this year with sorrowful and confused blog post, find a way to deal with it and leave everything behind, and fill the rest of the year with good things.

So what gives this depressing blog post? Uh, so here goes... something I've kept to myself (in the blogsphere, at least), I've been feeling uncomfortable in my work space, and have been looking for a new one so I can resign as soon as I can but have yet to get any call, which makes everything even more depressing. It feels like I'm losing a part of myself on daily basis, and that is not a good thing.

I would write a long rant about how I don't feel like growing here, or how I don't feel like anything, or that I simply dislike my boss(?) *he's not even my boss* but that would only bring more negativity... I mean, the fact that my other team-mates are already resigning speaks a lot, right?

I wonder if I should just go crazy and resign for the hell of it and be a jobless person and try to do business or something but of course I don't have the guts to do so (or do I?) because life isn't about sunshine and rainbows and unicorns but I sure do hope so.

Krissy wrote something about a dog sitting on a nail, kept sitting on it because it doesn't hurt enough yet. I remember this particular post clearly because I can totally relate to it, and I kept thinking about it, because it feels like I'm that dog right now and am whining and crying because I'm sitting on a nail. So why am I not moving away? Could it be because I am afraid I wouldn't get another seat? Or because I'm afraid of getting yet another painful nail to sit on? Or worse, have I became used to the pain? Why do I keep hurting myself?

Honestly, as I am writing this, I feel like crawling under my table and just cry because everything is so confusing and tiring, and I still can't find a way out yet. I don't know what do, not sure what I can do to make everything better, I'm just so.. lost.

Once again I'm really sorry to start the new year with a confused blog post, hopefully things will get better and brighter and I will find the answer I need soon.

My first Ever Purchase from Jolse Review

Good day, everyone! Today I will be reviewing (or more like, you know, bragging) about my first experience buying things from jolse

Jolse is a beauty site selling beauty products (like of course) straight from Korea. Wee... by now you all should know my obsession towards Korean beauty products! Hehe..

Anyway, out of all online beauty shops I've ever tried (and trust me, I've tried a lot). Jolse's gotta be the most generous on giving samples and bonus, I mean... look!

Guess what I originally bought? I only bought three items, guys! This was my first purchase so I didn't dare to buy too much but meep meep~! So happy when the package came 

Another thing that makes me really love shopping here is that I can choose the 'free shipping' methods! LOL, I know I know.. I'm such a cheapskate... but if you want to be safer and able to keep track on where your package is, they offer standard shipping (with tracking number) for $ 2.50 and $22 for EMS shipping if you need your package to arrive faster and trackable.

So here are the things I actually bought and some little reviews on them.

IT'S SKINsupersize pore tightener

This one is HUGE, I tell you. I mean, that's one reason why I bought it, hehe... it's 400 ml and I think can last a whole lifetime (okay, not really). It is comparable to my previous Etude House's Wonder Pore which was 500ml (!!!). IT'S SKIN supersize pore tightener smells citrus-y and nothing too strong or overwhelming. And it does its job nicely, I think. I still have to use it more to know, though.

Etude HousePlay Therapy Wash off Pack Brigthening UP!

I'm running out of my Holika Holika Premium Milk Sheep Yogurt with Greentea, which I love so much. So I was looking for a new wash off pack and found pretty nice reviews of this Etude House Play Therapy Wash off Pack Brigthening UP!. I love how big it is (150 ml) and it's really quite cheap for the amount. My verdict about this product? l love that it moisturizes my face, and it does make my skin brighter. So yay!

COSRX
Galactomyces 95 White Power Essence 100 ml

There is not much reviews I found for this product, I guess COSRX is a new brand? I'm not sure, but I was in love with their adorable art accompanying the product. Also, it's 100ml which is quite a lot for an essence (guess you've found out how much of a cheapskate person I am by now).

And boy, did it work miracle and make me super happy! Yay! COSRX Galactomyces 95 White Power Essence has a really runny/watery texture so I had a little confusion at first on how much should I apply on my face, I've found out that even a single pump is enough for my whole face, weeee~! Okay, so this magic essence makes my skin soooo smooooth and moisturized and become a perfect canvas before make up.

About the samples, I haven't took a pic of them yet... heheh.. but they are just so many, and most of them are my favorites too! Meeeeep~!

So to say, I am really  satisfied with this purchase, and am thinking of buying more :p

The great news is they are having a HUGE sale now with the black friday approaching. So go-go-go and grab everything fast~!

*this post was not sponsored by jolse (I wish it was, though.. hahah) it was purely my impression of shopping there for the first time and being utterly satisfied with the things I bought and their service.

On life, 11.11, and reopening

Howdy, little lovelettes! (yes, I just  made that one up)

Did you miss me? Did ya? Did ya? Okay, maybe not but I surely hope so. My life's been on this I-m-not-sure-where-I-am-but-I'm-getting-there phase lately, so yeah~ just gotta enjoy the ride as much as I can.

Weekend's been busy, filled with pile of works and events and such (like Jakarta Fashion Week, and many of the opening stores every weekend). Pretty tiring and getting kinda boring if you look from one side but at the same time, it's pretty exciting and challenging if I dare see from the brighter side.

Also, I've been forcing myself to be more... creative~ as in create more stuff, draw more, write more, read more... just simply do more things. I still feel kinda empty and lonely at times but nothing a day off or two can't fix.

Anyways, I am here now to officially (re)open my pretty little shop. I've created some more products (pouch) with my artwork, so you can bring it everywhere now instead of it sitting (or hanging) pretty on your wall. I will also try to make notebooks, phone case, and other stuffs with my artworks later.

For now, in this special day 11.11 (or also known as pepero day in Korea -pepero: stick snack just like pocky) I will reopen my little store so you can shop again there. And I'm having this special discount, only $11 for all pouches! Yay! This promo will end by the end of the month so go go go shop right now! *ahem* do I sound too forceful? *awkward grins*

I've only shot four pics of my pouches, so there is still only four pouches available on the store but actually I have almost all my artworks printed for the pouch. So if you want to purchase the pouch but don't see the artwork you want there, you may want to shoot me an email and I will check if the said artwork is available. (I will shoot some more pics tomorrow! Promise!)

So, happy shopping!

So Maybe I'm Lonely

it's 8am here in my place and usually I am on my way to the office at this hour, but since today is a special case where I don't have to go to the office (I'll go to another place instead) I'll use this opportunity to revive this poor little bloglette.

I wonder, is blogsphere not so in anymore? Because it seems quieter here. Anyway, I'll keep writing, heheh...

So here I am working in a fashion retail company, away from my parents and friends but then again my friends are scattered anywhere anyway so no matter where I am I just have to accept the fact that things aren't the same anymore.

While I do have friends here in the office, it somehow feels different. Because everyone is married or dating or busy and here I am the lonely little woman trying to rack her brain on who to eat dinner together with.

Do I sound so pitiful? Er... sometimes I feel so. I mean, It was fairly easy before to hang out randomly and just call anyone to accompany me somewhere but now it's like the hardest task I've ever wanted to do.

Maybe it's me? Maybe I should be more... I don't know.. open? I thought I was open enough but maybe not really? Ugh... I'm not sure what my problem is. I feel kinda lonely sometimes here in this new place. And I'm getting bored of the same routines but at the same time have made it my comfort zone.

This is bad! I hate comfort zone! They stopped me from growing, and I shouldn't feel comfortable about it! Oops... sorry, do I sound like I am whining? Daymmm.. maybe I am >_<

anyway, I will try my best to update again soon, like... seriously I have so many things I want to share (or note down and remember) but I found myself too lazy to do so, and laziness is a bad thing and I should distance myself from it.

Guess I'll have to keep moving and going and running and crawling and swimming and everything!
Here's to a better today! *cheers* *clinks glasses*

note:
Wow, this is pretty random. I'm sorry! *BOWS*

Hello Beautiful!

It was during working hours that I made some drawings on my laptop. You know, since my job does require drawing nobody really noticed, lol. In my defense, I'd say I've done my part of the job and I was bored so a little drawing won't hurt, right?

I saw miss Katie on facebook showing her latest project to "Call someone you love", "Write Someone You Love", etc. and I thought it was really cool. How long has it been since the last time you wrote letters to someone you love? 

I mean, in the old days we use letters all the time, my mom still have the love letters my dad sent her when he was courting her, and isn't that the cutest thing? I would want my lover to send me a letter too, because sometimes there are words that are hard to say and will flow better through writing.

I've always been fascinated by writing in all form, be it letters, postcards, or even emails and blog posts (and comments!) because well, the essence is to let others know what you feel, but let's admit, there is something a little bit more special in hand-written letters, right?

Remember when I said I wanted to revive my artwork line? I guess the first product will be postcard. I will try to make them special, and maybe I will have a little project to send postcards to you lovely readers. Actually I'm not sure and a little bit scared, I mean... this blog has been so quiet and well, starting a business is always thrilling and exciting so yeah, fingers crossed, wish me luck! Until then, I will greet you with one of the postcard designs.

When I have too much to talk about

So I wanted to update this blog yesterday with a continuation of my Seoul adventure series, then I found out that I accidentally deleted all my pictures in my Line Camera folder on my phone, and apparently I had no back up in my computer so right now I am wailing at the loss... *SOBS* I guess I will update tomorrow with some pictures from my instagram and other social media platform... but still...

anyway, there is Ied around the corner, which is a big holiday for us muslim, which means long holiday is approaching! WOO HOO~! Which explains all the holiday mood in the office, like almost everyone is too busy planning for the holiday instead (including me). Well fortunately I've finished all the to-do-list I gotta do until the end of the month so I am freeeeeeeeee~~~~~ °˖✧◝(⁰▿⁰)◜✧˖°

What else is new? Oh, I am planning to revive my littletiara/tiararisa artwork line after the long holiday. Been researching for some needed informations, so wish me luck with everything! And please do anticipate the comeback! Hehe~

Something about the job and office? I'm doing good, I still can do whatever they want me to do and I can start enjoying the job (not that I didn't enjoy it). But of course, me and my never ending list of needs will forever seeking for a way to earn more, so yeah, that's where my artwork is coming to. (◍•ᴗ•◍)

Also, I've been trying new stuff and media to draw, it's always fun experimenting. I've been trying out with water colors and water color pencils, weee... so fun! The result is (of course) different from what I've been doing and it gives a pretty nice feeling trying and creating something new. Well, I am forever seeking and creating and evolving my style, so I have to learn to accept my own ever-changing style, I guess. (◡△◡✿)

I wanted to show my new artwork off but I have no scanner around me right now so.. ugh...

another dilemma I've been having for quite some time now is if I should buy a new phone, or a new camera, or just save the money for more travelling (lol) aish.. I can't seem to make up my mind... *SOBS* Even about travelling I can't decide where I wanna go, Korea (again, of course), Japan, or Bangkok? Aish, If only I were a billionaire I've flown to those places already.. aigoo aigoo..

Oh oh oh... another thing! I have this tiny liiiiittle crush here in my office! YAY! (eh...) I mean, I have someone to look forward to whenever I go to work, hehe~ found this cute little eyecandy and ughhh... I feel like a high school facing her crush all over again, dayummm... I still haven't found a way to even know his name so... uhmm.. :|

okay, so this post is everywhere and going nowhere I know. I guess it's just another life update post? Lol, I originally wanted to do some make up review, or showing you my HG list of make up, but eh.. that has to wait.

Life update, I missed you!

Good day everyone, how long has it been since the last time I shared you my life update? Soooo many things had happened I barely have time to update my dear little bloglette. Also, most of my bloggy friends are so busy to update too so it seems more quiet here in the blogsphere lately. I gotta do some more blog-walking so I can meet more new friends. People, wait for me!

Anyone noticed I changed my layout a little? I want to revamp this blog but I guess things are happening slowly, well.. one step at a time, I guess? How do you like it so far? Is the title too pale? Can you actually see it? I wanted to make something watercolor-ish because that's what I've been doing lately with my artworks. I also want to restart my artwork little shop, it's been idle somehow :( but I promise I will force myself to create artworks from time to time. Because there's no such thing as not enough time, it's just a matter of priority, right?

I missed doing a lot of things I used to do now that I've found myself a job. The job itself isn't so hard and also kind of fun. I've landed myself as a visual content in a fashion retail company, how does that sound? Nice, right? It is. But honestly speaking, I need a lot more than the company pay to fulfill my heaps of needs of clothes and make up and gadgets (lol). More importantly, my passion towards art and creating stuff is still alive and kicking and it's not going anywhere anytime soon. I want to keep it alive, I have to keep it alive. While the work I do in the office is somehow artsy, it is still not enough. So here I am reliving the littletiara artwork line. I'm thinking of changing the brand 'littletiara' to my name, tiararisa. How do you like it? (I wonder if anyone is even reading this post, lol).

So how's life been treating me? So-so. I'm still on my training days until next month. I'm honestly still thinking if I was meant to be here, I like the job, but it doesn't bring the most of me, that must be why I keep on seeking of time to create artworks. Sadly, sometimes I'm too tired (and lazy) to do anything when I got back from work. But now, I will promise myself not to be too lazy anymore. You know the feeling of not doing enough? Funnily it's not for my boss because they all seem satisfied with my work, it's not doing enough for myself, because I know what I'm capable of but I'm not doing enough to let them shine.

I watched 2NE1's concert! (Okay, this is so OOT but whatever, lol I will find a way to connect it). It was super cool. Super crazy, everything was amazing but the most remarkable for me, other than the super cool lighting and stage was the performance of 2NE1's leader CL. I just have to talk about it! She seems sooooo very happy to be on stage, it was like she was born to perform. Her smile was so wide and it shows how proud and happy and satisfied she was to perform in front of us. I want to be like her, to be genuinely happy doing what she likes best. Of course, all of the girls were stunning and adorable, too!

I miss the happy feeling of finishing my artworks, and someone ordered it and received it and show it off to their friends and colleagues. It wasn't much, but to create something useful to make someone's day brighter, isn't that a really nice feeling? No wonder CL looks really happy, the energy of her fans that filled the arena transferred to her and her team. We were all really happy to be able to share the same place with 2NE1, the happy energy, how huge it must be?

Also, I miss speaking English T^T this sounds so weird, right? So other than creating graphics and visuals for my company website, I also contribute in writing some blog-content. But they're all written in Bahasa. And I can't find anyone who can converse English here with me T^T. I'm afraid  my English is becoming dull, so I figured that means I have to write more english, right? To keep my actively speaking English. I know I know this sounds so weird, I myself didn't think there would be a day I would complain about the lack of speaking English in my life ever, lol.

Other than working and watching a super-exciting concert, trying to create more artwork and struggling to keep speaking English, life's beeen normal. I've been purchasing lots of make ups (lol), and I plan to review them soon. Most of them are Korean products (like of course) but I also purchased an NYX lip cream, and a japanese mascara. So yeah, lots of things to talk about, eh? ;)

I missed you  guys, I hope you missed me too (heheh...) I will try to update more frequently! Ah, wish me luck with everything!

it's been an honor loving you

I am always someone who loves being in love, who loves loving. For me, being in love is a pleasure, a happy journey, and exciting adventure. Whenever I decided to be in love, I know the risk and tried my best to only fall for the ones worthy enough. But of course, love is love and it's as unexpected and unplanned as it is. And when I got my heart broken, or falling out of love I remind myself that I chanced it upon myself, that it was always good while it lasted, that it had brought so many smiles upon myself, that no matter how short it was, it gave me happiness and let me know someone better than I thought I would.

Being in love is never a bad thing, even during the confusing time, even when I'm crying because of it, even when a relationship ends, even when it's an unrequited love, being in love is never a bad thing. The lesson learnt, the memories captured, the happiness within, everything would only be there when I am in love.

Being in love scares me, because it is beautiful and mind-blowing and overwhelming and exciting and everything. Because being in love brought me all the feelings and emotions I wouldn't experience when I am not in love. How many times have I fallen in love? I can't even tell because honestly I've lost count of it. How many times have I fallen out of love or got my heart broken? I'll never be able to tell because of course, I don't know... why would I keep track on such sad occasion?

It's been an honor loving you. The fact that I love you is a proof enough how wonderful you are at least to me. How you got me smiling ear to ear and maybe even invaded my dreams shows how great of a person you are, how you've brought me happiness no matter how small.

So here I am thanking you, you, and you. For the happy times, for the memories, for the smiles, for the fun midnight chats, for the red blush on my cheeks, for smelling good on our dates, for the silly selfies, for the warm hugs, for the tickling little kisses, for everything, thank you for letting me love you, it's been an honor loving you.

it's a wrap!

I can't believe, well... I can, but I find it hard to believe that here we are in the last day of 2013 already. Am I ready for 2014? I'm not sure if I do, but I have to so yeah! I'm ready, bring it on! And here's  what a typical year-end blog post gonna be like; reminiscence, and a bucketful of wish. 

Let's see... this year I have...

1. Graduated from my master degree.

It's hard to believe that I actually wrote both of my graduations in one blog. This blog is almost 5 year old! It witnessed everything I've gone through, including the tiring thesis-making and nerve-wrecking thesis defense. To think that I've survived those, I think I should give myself a pat on the back.

2. Still fighting for the perfect job.

I have failed so many times in a job seeking process, it's a good thing I have taken a little vacation for myself to South Korea so I am a little bit calmer. But then again, failing is never a good feeling, there were times when I questioned myself if there is something wrong with me that I kept on failing. Was it my lack of experience? was it my master degree? Was it my personality? What is so wrong?

The good thing about this is knowing that as many times as I've fallen, I've successfully stood back and strive for another chance. This is tiring, and knowing that I'm not giving up on this (because of course, I can't, I won't, ever), I can give myself another pat on the back.

3. Officially became an illustrator.

 

When my cousin asked me if I want to illustrate for his book, I was estatic about the fact that I would finally be an illustrator who actually does illustrate books. The experience was insane, the recognition was something I would always remember to be thankful of. The feeling when I had the physical book in my hands, and to turn the pages and see my own illustration there is still so overwhelming. 

More importantly, the more chances I got to improve myself through another contract, when I was asked to illustrate another book, followed by other books. It felt so fulfilling, although I know I'm still far from what you can call a professional illustrator. But eh, I'm on my way there! So I will give myself a pat on the back and a cheer for being able to get closer to one of my biggest dreams.

4. Solo traveling to South Korea.

Korea oh Korea, there is something about this country that made me fall so hard for it. It wasn't even the famous k-pop stars because no, I'm not. I won't even recognize them if I ever see them on the street except if they're YG artists or really super mega famous (like, you know, Girls Generation-but I doubt they'd be walking on the same street I walk on, lol).

Maybe it's the cosmetics? Yes yes, and all the shopping-spree I can do there, but more than anything, I think it's the aura, and the people I met, and the adventures I had. I still want to come back there again. I think I should just make it to my yearly plan; visiting Korea every year. I would love to visit other countries too, I want to know if they also have the same strong force like Korea does.

To be able to survive in a foreign country alone, to have created precious memories, to have  made new friends, I will give myself a pat on the back, great job, Tiara!

 

5. Fallen in love, fallen out of love, fallen in love again, yeah.. that cycle.

That's just me being me. The ever so emotional me. I don't think I can survive without feeling either falling so very deeply in love or being hurt so bad I want to kill myself (eh, never to that extreme actually). So yeah, I wonder if this should make a cut here but well, it's kinda a highlight of my year too. Haha...

And with 2014 approaching in less than 24 hours, what would be on my wish list?

1. I want to fall in love, so very deep in love it will inspire my every moves. I want to find the one, he who will make me cry one time and laugh another time and both at the same time.

2. I want to find a job. Like please. I want to know where do I belong in this society. I want to prove to myself that I actually can do what others expect me to do. I want to find a way to be financially independent before 25, please.

3. I want to travel more, to South Korea again because it's on my yearly planner, Japan so I can buy the famous greentea flavored kitkat, Europe so I can walk down all the artistic aisle. Most importantly, I want to do it with my loved ones and it doesn't actually matter where, as long as I can get lost with him.

Traveling solo is fun, but please, I also want to have a romantic getaway with my boyfriend to a country far far away where nobody knows us so we can do whatever we want without having to think about what others would think of us.

4. I want to illustrate more. I would love more chance to paint, draw, and illustrate. But here, what I'm actually asking for is an inspiration and strong-will. Because my own laziness is something that kills me, giving me such a guilty pleasure that I will eventually regret. 

I want to be inspired, to see life in a new light, to discover new things that excites me, because lately I've been feeling that life is getting boring. This is clearly not a good thing. So I have decided to start from smal things like making illustration for my blog posts. I hope this will work on forcing myself to draw, just like what I do with this post, I hope I can continue with this little commitment.

5. I want to find myself. I am at this age where I feel lost almost everyday. I am maturing but I found myself retreat back to my comfort zone whenever things get ugly. I want to jump out of that, to take every challenge and dare myself. I want the chance to do that, either given or created by myself. I want to be braver, and forgive myself, and knowing myself more, and enjoy life.

So basically, all I want now is for 2014 to be an upgraded version of 2013. I want to achieve more, feel more, travel more, laugh more. Phew, I feel like this post is a pretty serious one, while I originally wanted to make a fun post with cute emoticons and all. Haha...

Korean Skin Care Review: Holika Holika Premium Sheep Milk Yogurt Pack with Green Tea

Soooooo this will officially be my first beauty review. As in a post dedicated to review a product. Heh, this is something new for me so I hope I can do it good. Anyway, my journey to Korea last year had taught me a lot about beauty and make up. I discovered my love for make up and I couldn't seem to stop the crave and craze ever since.

Today, I will review a skincare product instead of make up. I love both make up and skin care, but as a beginner I found that skin care product is even more important than make up. If my skin isn't in a good condition, my make up won't look perfect.

Anyway, enough ranting already. So here's the product today: Holika Holika Premium Sheep Milk Yoghurt with Green Tea. Phew, what a long title for a skin care product.

The packaging, just like any other Korean products, is cute! The jar was made of glass so it's pretty heavy and bulky, not really travel-friendly. The lid was of tin, with the title on top of it. It looks pretty classy and almost vintage. Kkk~ my weakness.

It contains 75 ml of product, which doesn't sound like it's a lot but it actually is! I've been using this religiously for two months already and it seems like the product stays the same amount (o.O?) there's gotta be some magic in it.

First of all, I love the smell. It has two types: green tea and wild berry. Most beauty bloggers out there I saw the review of are talking about the berry one. But I love green tea so much I just can't resist, hehe... anyway, they say the berry one also smells good. From the way I read it, it seems like the berry one smells even better, now I want to try it on too *sobs*.

Since this is green tea, it's colored green with a pretty thick consistency, nothing too heavy, nothing too light, so yeah, pretty normal. It's a wash-off pack, so you wash your face, put on your favorite toner, then put this smells-oh-so-goooood mask on your face and leave it on for 15-20 minutes and wash it off with warm water after. 

The thing about this pack is that it feels like normal face cream sometimes I forgot I have a mask on. Hahaha~ duh (_ _")

anyway, how does it do to my face? It works baby! So my face needs moisturizing, and this little baby helps a lot. Once I wash it off with warm water it always makes me feel fresh and moisturized so major yay for that!

Holika holika is always my favorite out of the bunch of Korean cosmetics. Their products always work for me, kkk~ so yeah, I love this face mask. I love the smell and how it works on my face. You guys shall try it out too if you need moisturizing like I do. I also don't think it will make your face oily. So it's a good product for all~

*sigh* this is quite awkward isn't it? I need to learn more how to do a review. See you later in another post, I still have a lot of pending posts from my Korean adventure series omg~!

Ciao Bella~!