Kaleidoscope Heart

I can hardly believe it’s 30th of December already. How fast time flies really, just how… fast? It’s scary, really scary thinking about it. What if the moment I wake up tomorrow I’m already 27 year old? I mean, time surely feels fly that fast.

Okay, so instead of dwelling on how fast it flies, I’ll just embrace it, and do things I can do like we all have to do, right? Now… time for little flashback…

I started 2010 with… let’s see… Here are the highlights.

January 2010 - confessing my love to the best friend

A really good friend, a brother, a partner in crime business partner :) I’m glad I did. I’m glad to let him know what I feel, I’m glad I was brave enough to do that, one big leap, really. I never thought I would but hey, I did!

February 2010 - fell in love with another guy

   

Remember I spent times in the village? I found a new object of my affection there, one day I realized, I’ve moved on; I’ve fallen for this guy. Our mutual friends found this blog and my writing, it forced me to tell him how I felt. We spent some good time, not last that long, though. Another guy came and stole my heart.

March 2010 – One of the most wonderful birthday, ever! :D

Spent it with my closest friends, partying all night (yeah, I didn’t post any picture here… I forgot to bring the cam). Got lots, heaps and heaps of presents. Yayness!

April 2010 - fell for (yet) another guy

A high school friend suddenly came to my life, made me fall for him in no time :) and it’s quite sad to say I left the guy I fell for in February just like that. Maybe because he took too long to do anything, idk.

May 2010 – became lovers, officially

What to explain here? I fell so hard, so so so hard. Spent my night sleepless finishing my thesis but that’s okay because I had Le Boy. Days were filled with so much texting, hehe :)

June 2010 – Encountered some problems with old friends

I annoyed my friend, she proclaimed it to me. I was so down and sad and broke and all. Le Boy was around but I ruined his birthday with my old-sad-face. I still feel guilty thinking about it now but well… that was long time ago.

August 2010 – Graduated

along with that, I fought multiple times with Le Boy. Had little breakup, got back together, talked things out. Oh, and I talked to my friend (the one I annoyed on June) and we got back normal again :)

September 2010 – We broke up, for real

Just when our friends found out that we were together, we actually separated. That was actually awkward.

October 2010 – Worked hard for a little cafe

I spent the whole month looking for an ideal place, it took me the whole month.

November 2010 – Opened the little cafe

After long, I finally opened the cafe. Say, this was one long stressful month. Like seriously, I couldn’t really get a god sleep. My brain couldn’t stop thinking. There was this really heavy pressure I felt I didn’t know why. It shouldn’t be there but it was.

December 2010 – Closed the cafe

Yeah, It was opened on 21st November and closed on… I don’t know, I don’t want to care. In all honesty, there was a weird sensation I felt, like the burden had finally gone, lifted away. I was sad it was closed but then maybe that was for the best.

Ah… 2010, I’ve done so much, I’ve learnt so much, thank you for all the bitter and the sweet, the lesson and the pain. 2011, what you’ve got? I’ll take it all. Bring it on!! Well, okay… 2011, welcome :)

edit:

nikolett reminded me that I missed July, hahaha! My gosh, how could I do that? Okay, so...

July 2010 - I finished my thesis and passed the final exam.

Nothing much really happened, though. Hehehe... maybe that's why I forgot to type it down. :P

ohai ups and downs!

Oh right! I’m here! With news, some important news! And thoughts, and I don’t know what else, lol.

So… on with the news?

1. The little cafe had opened, and closed.

Now, how crazy does that sound? It was opened for about two weeks and then closed forever just like that. It’s hard to explain why without pointing finger at someone else so I don’t think I wanna do that.

I was happy with it, but I felt something was off. You wouldn’t want to know how many times I cried myself out alone in the dark because I don’t want people to know how depressing it was. I didn’t even understand what was so depressing about it.

Once, days got too hard to bear and I couldn’t let anyone know, I couldn’t let my parents know I was unhappy, I couldn’t let my partners know, so I asked Le Boy to come and hug me because only in front of him I could act like myself. I put off all my strong facade and just melt there in silence. Thank goodness he let me.

Well, now that the little cafe had closed just when people start to notice it and ask me about it, I felt a little heartbroken. The hardest part would be explaining to people why was it closed, all those questioning eyes, and the disdain they hold… I know it will disappear in time, though.

All in all, I don’t really regret this, I know it’s for the best.

2. Me and Le Boy? Weird stuff.

Remember this long love letter I wrote? It was supposed to be given to him on his birthday but well, things happened and I didn’t get the chance to. I gave it to him last week anyway. I’m not sure if he understands it wholly, though. Haha… at least he understand the “I love you” parts, right?

We’re still in this weird relationship, I think. At least for me it’s weird.

We did went out once in a while, the last time was when I got the news that the little cafe was closed for real, I asked him to accompany me to timezone. We did have fun, lots of them :) good time.

Man, I’ve been telling myself so many times to just stop stop. I mean, remember what happened to me and the best friend? I spent my.. how many years? Two? Three? to love him? And it all ended when I finally confessed to him all my feelings. Now, what am I to do with this feeling to Le Boy? Why am I so hard-headed? I mean… sigh, just stop already and look for someone new, tiara! lol.

Things are always easier said than done, right?

3. Projects with the best friend.

Business partners is what we are! I am so glad with it! I mean, when I don’t know what to do, he reminds me that I still have him around and we still have projects to do! Projects recycling is on the way, and business plans are made :D seriously, this is fun.

This newest competitions we’re joining have a very fun prize. Other than money, it’s a 4 days trip to either London, Japan or Singapore :) you see how tempting that is? Hahaha… I kinda hope for Japan and crossing my fingers to visit Japan Disneyland (because they said the hello kitty balloons are cuter there).

4. Tangled!

cute artwork! I’m pretty much in love with it! 

I know it’s kinda late but I will watch Tangled 3D tomorrow! Man, I’m such a sucker for disney’s fairytales. I mean, they’re sucky and cheesy and I just can guess how it would end “and they live happily ever after” right? But still… I am SO curious about this Rapunzel movie. I didn’t even got hyped about Princess and the Frog.

Maybe because it’s hard to find a partner to accompany me watch this movie? Everyone thinks it’s childish, it’s Disney’s and it’s a Fairytale remake. Even Le Boy rejected me (yeah, heartbroken here *kicks Le Boy*) but I’ve got myself a friend! Yayness! We’ve been planning to hangout since forever but both are too busy with our own lives.

This is one great excuse,haha!

5. The Ring has arrived!!!

Remember this pretty ring?

Remember that I told you someone sent it to me? Remember I promised you I would tell you once the ring arrive?

Do you know it took almost 4 months for this ring to land here save and sound at last? This crazy ring had made me and Kym nervous for the whole time, lol. Oh wait, Kym? Yes, you read it right, Kym from Herrohachi was the one who sent me this!

Do you believe in Karma? I do. Guess what? She sent me this ring, she got her own ring from her boyfriend (now is fiancé, congrats Kym!) and I couldn’t be any happier! I mean, I LOVE weddings! Hahaha…

Maybe I should send out some rings too? So someone would eventually propose? Hahaha… Okay, I’m starting to get delusional. ;P

Thank you Kym! I really couldn’t thank you enough!

So, 2010 had definitely been the craziest rollercoaster ride. I learnt so much, I experienced so much, I want to explore so much more! :) I am not afraid, you hear what they say?

Young and restless.

Ah! I hate the fact that I got a little bit too busy and everyone else in the blogsphere are too! I mean... the bloggy world seems to be a little silent lately (or is it just me not checking up?)

So, what's the news?

1. The little cafe/place to eat (I still can't find a suitable word to define this, lol) had opened! I will make a special post about it later, with all the details, promise! :D

2. I recently was involved in an accident, little one, thankfully. I am okay, I think, only few scratches which would not be lovely to post here :P all in all, no worries, I am fine.

Thing is, after I got into this accident, few hours later Le Boy was too. Things are a little bit worse on him, and now I'm hoping he's alright :( I haven't contacted him again but maybe I should soon and pay him a visit bringing cream soup and his favorite ice cream, maybe. Heheh.

3. Hmmm... what else to write here? I need to apologize for not being around. All the works consume me and my time :( as fun as it is, I still miss hanging out with my friends doing nothing, only gosipping and all...but everyone grows up and everything changes, I guess. :)

4. How do you like the new layout? It's FAR simpler than the simplest last one. lol.

projects projects!

Oh my dear! Here I am for real! Haha… Okay, I know I’ve been missing in action for like.. I don’t know… I just couldn’t find time to update until today :) what? You want to know where was I? Okay, I’ve been doing some projects with my friends and cousins. Here are some of the major project I did/been doing:

1. Project JUNKtion.
status: done (for now, maybe continued later)
partner: The Best Friend

There was a business competition and the Best Friend asked me to be his partner in this, what we had to do is to make a business proposal, so the project is all about junks and garbage, we collect and recycle them, make a place for those junks and people to learn more about them. That’s the idea.

We didn’t win the competition, though, so the project stopped (lol) but later if there’s another business proposal competition, we’ll join in again, haha! I had fun doing this project, really. We visited the landfills (which, as expected, is SO smelly) and for once, I saw those junks and garbage as hills and hills of money, haha! ($.$)

2. Project handmade
status: ongoing
partner: me, myself and I

My favorite project so far, although I’ve yet to make money from it, hahaha :P. So few weeks ago I found this fabric marker and my brain instantly worked on “OHISHOULDMAKESOMETHINGOUTOFIT!” Haha… so here goes… my little creation (which maybe I’ll sell later? Who knows? :P)

So I learnt to sew, and draw on fabric (harder than I thought, but fun!) and ta-daah! Here' goes little plushies I made! :D

 
My favorite I don’t know why, haha… it looks like a painting little plushie

   
This little red heart makes me run out of the red ink, lol. I should’ve thought about it earlier, lol. But I love it anyway :)

  
I tried to make a plushie of my friend, lol. Not bad, I guess… hoho…

  
it’s… uhm… something, I’m not really sure what, hahaha… so random!

3. Project writing
Status: ongoing
Partner: A college friend

From a chat once upon a time, we came up with an idea to write stories together. We are two very different people, and we thought it would be really fun to write about something from our perspectives.

unluckily, this project is in Indonesian so most of you couldn’t enjoy it (yet), but maybe later we’ll make the english version of it, who knows?  ;)

We’ve agreed to make a themed stories every couple of days, and just by seeing our writing we could see just how different our way of thinking and perspectives are :) FUN FUN FUN!

4. Project ‘a place to eat’

Status: ongoing

Partner: My cousins, Le Boy

Remember I wanted to make a little cakery? Or cafe? Okay, so I think I’m steps closer to make them, I started off with little place to eat and hang out. We (me and my cousins) rented a place and now is in our way to open it soon! :D

look what I’ve made! it’s kinda big, non?

and Le Boy is helping by being the architectural consultant here,  hohoho... (nice excuse for us to meet, no? :P)

Me, being so focused drawing, Ohohoho… the artist is on the run! So I hand-painted all the details, in this room! :D I am kinda proud of it!

and here is the completed tree in one of the side of the room! :D

What do you think? What do you think? What do you think?

Ahh… I’m so excited with all these projects going on, I know people been telling me to focus on only one but I think it’s just this much Le Boy affected me, I couldn’t stop finding things to do and I still feel like I haven’t done much! WOW. Haha… I feel like trying to do everything!

So wish me luck with all these projects! :D Oh the future is today!

#prayforindonesia

For you who follows me on twitter, I’ve been twitting and re-tweeting lots of stuffs in Indonesian. I hope it doesn’t annoy you.I’ve been talking and sharing/spreading information about Mt. Merapi, world’s most active volcano 40km from my house that had been erupting since October 26th.

It had been said that the eruption this year is the biggest during the last 100 years so I hope nothing bad will happen. I felt almost all the way to selfish when I read my previous post in this blog worrying about myself when hundreds people out there, in the same city don’t even know if where they can sleep tonight.

Mount Merapi is all the way in north Yogyakarta, and my house is in the south side, and for once I am thankful for it. Right now, my cousins are coming to my house because their boarding houses are pretty near (about 20 kms) from the volcano.

I am both sad and proud. It’s never a pleasuring sight to know a disaster, but it makes me proud to see that so many people, my friends, people I know, Yogyakarta’s citizen are all together trying to help each other, being volunteers, donating money, etc. I know I can’t do much but I even the littlest thing counts.