.Little Tiara.

Boring classes: Blessings in disguise

2012-02-14T05:57:00.000-08:00

I know this is 14th of february, which most people celebrate it in pink. But that's just too mainstream so I won't talk too much about it, I just hope each and everyone of you get the love you all deserve! :D this world needs more love!

Anyway, let's just go down to the business...

Boring classes are indeed blessing in disguise, I am far more productive in it! I mean, if I am in my room, I'll spend the time lazing around, surf the net, sleep... sleep and more sleep... hahaha... (I just love sleeping too much), while in the class, I can't sleep, so there's not much I can do but doodling, here comes the blessing! Hahaha...

So basically, if you look at my book, I purposely chose the plain one (not lined) so I can draw all I want there. If I get the chance later I will scan it to show it to you how I never really take notes on what the professors say ( I copy them from my friends' later) and so my book is like a doodle book, hahahaha... I really should scan it somehow.

Anyway, here's one of the most recent artwork I made during a boring class... in which I am actually quite proud of this one, I think I can put it on a shirt or tote bag and just sell it, hmm? I'll do some research about that, who knows, maybe I can give it away on my birthday (the shirt/tote bag) or do you have other idea where should I put this on?

Anyway, me and my friend Nanette have this idea of doing a doodle project. It'll be a book filled with quotes and a matching doodle illustration.

I always love Albert Einstein's quotes, but for now, to celebrate valentine's day I have this one adorable quote...

What is the color of love?

Fluorescent color. Even if you’re around a lot of people, the person you love will stand out.

-GD of bigbang

I just love how smart his answer is, because normal people would say pink or red for being cute/pure or passionate, fluorescent is definitely something out of the box. So now it's your turn...

What is your favorite quotes?

Hel- wait, what? it's 2012!

2012-01-22T06:58:00.000-08:00

not only it's already 2012, tomorrow is Lunar (Chinese) New Year already!

Xin Nian Kuai Le, Gong Xi Fat Chai!

I always believe that in my previous life, I was a chinese, or something that related to China. Who knows, maybe I was a princess from China, or Mulan? Lololol... anyway, I have this special love and adoration towards China, the country, its people and most especially their culture :)

*gasp* and how late can I be to realize that it's already another year? And that it's already the third year I'm writing in this blog? Which means, around three years to know you guys, too! (well, some of you, hehe). Time never fail to amaze me, ever.

and suddenly, I'm a 22 year old woman, almost 23, which means, almost 25, which means one fourth a century! Now, when I see someone popular, artist, entertainer of some sorts around my age, I was often amazed, "Wow! (s)he is around my age and is already so successful!" in my mind, I was young, and it's amazing how someone the same age as me has already reach so much, that is until I realized that it wasn't them who are young, it's me who's not so young anymore! *gasp*

I've been fooled by myself; with the status as a student (a post-graduate student, but a student nonetheless), homeworks and exams, all the studying makes me feel like I'm not different with any other students; high school students and college students, while actually I'm different. And the fact that people constantly telling me that I look so young, that I still fit being a high school student. All these fooled me, made me feel like I'm still young.

Of course I know I'm still young and the road ahead is still long, but looking back, I questioned myself, "what have I done all these times?" I've lived in this world for 22 years, what have I done? I want to do more, I need to do more, I have to do more!

Well, this is me being all philosophic, which is good once in a while. It's time like this that reminds me that I have to make my life worthwhile, to make people remember me when I'm gone one day, well I feel like a woman on a mission, so 2012 better be prepared for me.

In another note, I really really really want to go South Korea for my birthday *wails* reason is, there's this Big Show, a Big Bang concert. Which, if you don't know already, Big Bang is like... the only Korean boyband I love! Let's see... I know it's korean wave hitting every corner of the world right now, but for me, Big Bang (and 2ne1 -girl band from the same agency) is a whole different concept from what people call K-pop. And no, I'm not their new fan, I've been liking them since... ergh, can't remember... around 2006? When most people are not even familiar with Korean entertainment. See, I know what's good, k?

Okay, I shall ramble no more, point is, Big Bang is great and I want to go to their concert, other than that, I've always wanted to go to South Korea, their concert just triggered the greediness in me more.

Another point is that my wallet is like empty, dusty with spiderwebs inside. If my wallet is a drama, it's a weepy, tear-jerker kind of drama, it's sad and tragic! *wails for my empty wallet* how the hell am I going to fill it with $500 by the end of this month? By the way, this month is ending already...

But then again, staying positive is my specialty, and I'm kinda persistent (almost to the point that it's annoying), so until it's 6th of march, I still believe I will be there. I mean, look! All these hotties are waiting for me to watch them! How can I just neglect them? No can do, right? right? right?

On (yet) another note, I must be the latest to know about this... but Blogger finally answered my our prayer and put a reply button under every comments! ALL HAIL BLOGGER!!! Hahaha... I love it when they hear our rants :))

now, let me end this post with this superb MV from Big Bang which was taken in one shot, which is awfully cool!

all pictures found via tumblr

So I forgot to put a Title...

2011-12-30T04:22:00.000-08:00

thanks to Rad's constant nagging, here I am finally updating this blog. Man! Is this blog look dustier than usual? Oh crap! Is that spiderweb I'm seeing? :O hahaha... okay, first of all... Merry Christmas! Although I don't really celebrate it, well... I'm enjoying the holiday too! Hahahah ;p so Happy Holiday! How did you spend your holiday? me? Oh, of course, lazing around in bed, it was raining all day on christmas so it was perfect for sleeping! YAY!

Anyway, I got sick too :( I can't remember when was the last time I fell that sick. Yeah, with fever and all, but I'm getting better now, of course since I'm a strong lady, hah! (say the girl who spent two days straight under the blanket) it must be the weather, or something. I'm not even sure why was I sick, sigh~

I still have to draw three more pictures. Yes, in my list I still have three to draw and I'm like... starting to go sleep imagining how the picture should be! Hah! These ones should be good. It's been too long since the last time I really draw something, I'm kinda nervous.

So, new year is nearing. Much as I can't believe it, oh well... I just have to face it, right? Here's the thought that keep coming to me: I'm not getting any younger!!! >O< oh my! I feel like I'm getting fifty soon!

I still remember clearly spending the new year last year in the club (clubs, actually), wasted (kinda) with my friends, and oh my! There were some drama too! I mean, my friends met her ex there, and some guys trying to hook me up (damn! this one is annoying part), some other guys trying to catch my friend (all I can remember, his name was radio, hahahahaha... he dressed up like Elvis, I swear he did!), and the worst part, we forgot to take any picture, oh well...

perverts and exes aside, it was a fun night. Ahhh... I missed my friends :( they're all over the place now since we're all graduated. And up till now I still don't know how I will spend this year's new year, hmm... for me it's either a super-crowded place, or nothing at all, as in quiet place... like... as quiet as my room.

Hahah, I gotta say, me and my room has this special bonding now that I barely sleep anymore. You see, classes and all... sleeping is now such a big thing for me. It's an honor to get to sleep, really! :)) and it's getting really crowded outside, making me even lazier to fight the heat only to spend some money ~_~ I don't even have that much in my pocket anyway. Maybe I should really start the drawing, hahah...

by the way, I found this on tumblr, so I think I should share it here, what is yours? I'm a Moe; nauseatingly cute, trololololol...

life update!

2011-12-08T15:29:00.000-08:00

I'm here! I'm here! Okay, I know I've disappeared longer than I used to be (r not?) but... but... okay, no but, I was just lazy and have nothing to talk about, well... actually there are lots f things to talk about so the reason is I was lazy, and lazy is human, and I am human so yeah..

what do you want me to talk about?

A theory of how I think school is trying to kill me? Ah yeah right! I just survived three consecutive days of presentations which means three days lack of sleep, which means three days of panda eyes, which means three days of emo littletiara, which means... well... good thing I aced them all! Oh joy!

and next week would be the time for final exam and I have no idea if I can survive it again, I'm crossing my fingers I do... but seriously, laziness has taken over me. Not the kind of lazy that I don't want to do anything and I ended up doing nothing. I'm in a state of laziness where all I want to do is reading good stories and snuggles on my bed, and not doing anything related to homework. Yes, that kind of laziness, not so lazy, right?

I think I've bored you out.

So, here's some little update.

I'm alive, and well. Yeah, pretty much well although I could do more eating now, I'm hungry
I have homeworks, two to be finished today, like right now, but I'm still too lazy to do them.
Belkastrellka, an indie band, hired me to draw for their upcoming single. And I am uber excited about this! So excited that I don't want to do anything! Ha!
What else is here.. hmm... nothing else, ah! I'm in dire need to find somebody to love. Okay, that was cheesy but I think life's just plain boring now that I have no object for my affection, sigh...

Okay, that should be all. I hope you won't kill me, haha!

a little sneak peek

2011-11-22T02:02:00.000-08:00

well I hope you like what you're seeing here :) because I surely am!

Have I told you that I am excited about this? :D I do! I do!

Ps. Just in case this is too vague, it's a pendant with my artwork on it :) yes, they'll soon be available in jewelries, yayness! :))

Have a dream, make it real

2011-11-04T07:41:00.000-07:00

Once upon a time, one of my dreams faltered, remember about the little resto I and my cousin opened for only about two weeks or so? Ah.. such bittersweet memory... But this littletiara is no quitter so no worries, I still have dreams, big dreams which include little cafery in it.

Why little cafery? Why not make it grand?

Because I am in love with little stuff (that 'little' in littletiara explains more than enough, I guess). I want to have my little cafery all over the world. So you know, it's like little invasion, you won't realize it but when you do it's already too late because you're already addicted to this little stuffs around you, and craving for more.

(amen!)

Anyway, I remember I've talked about this, though I am too lazy to look for the exact post. Maybe I should, later. I love doing this, planning and daydreaming; here are more details of what to guess about the little cafery...

I want everything in mini size! Seriously if I could hire oompa-loompas, I would! lol... I want to have it Alice in Wonderland themed. I want before people step in, they drink a welcome drink in a little bottle with a "drink me" tag.

I want people who enters feel bizarrely comfortable inside. I want once they're in they realize that something is wrong but not knowing what until they figured that everything is in smaller size :D yes, the chairs and tables, I want to make it as weird as possible, shall I use those chairs for kindergarten and make them more vintage-ish and charming? And wooden, I want them to be white wooden chairs.. maybe something like this but in a smaller size..

(nanny's pavilion)

YES! The chairs!

And the walls... the walls should be made of wood, recycled wood would be best. I love wood because it gives me such warm feeling, maybe it's just me, no?

(Slowpoke Espresso Cafe in Fitzroy, Australia)

and there would be sweets, your favorite sweets in so many flavors. Because I am one who gets bored easily even when eating, I tend to eat little but often. I assume most girls do (or is it just me? o.O) so instead of a plate of strawberry pancake, I'd serve five (or so) little plates of little pancakes in different taste.

and yes of course the pancakes must be mini sized, as does the other like...

mini cupcakes

macarons

right, of course mini macarons

mini waffles!

mini cakes :D

mini pancake yay!

Being the little narcissist me, of course my artwork should be everywhere on the wall, hahahaha...

Oh how fun to have it all! :D Well the plan is not yet finished and the concept is still raw, I still have times to think more about it, though. While of course saving and learning more about business.

Oh please do cross your fingers for me to have this dream come true :D

Asagaya - cute japanese restaurant

2011-11-03T05:01:00.000-07:00

This is a rare post as I rarely review something, but maybe I should try... I think I should take more pictures to be a good blogger, which I always forgot haha...

So yesterday my friend told me he was going to have a dinner in this newly opened Japanese restaurant, and was hesitating to go or not. In the end he did and after that he bragged me about how good it was.

Of course, me, the food lover, gotta try it out.

The restaurant look small from the outside, but actually it's bigger than we expected once we were inside and because I was too excited, me and my friend came there even before it opened, lol! But the staff was exceptionally friendly (at least before they got too busy with the customers), he told us each and every details about the restaurant.

This was how the setting of the resto:

I love the lighting set up :) it makes the ambiance warm and kind of romantic, heheh...

I like the simple details, like those paintings on the wall? Those are framed Japanese fabrics, with lovely, very-japanese patterns.

They have Japanese food in their menu (like of course) such bento box, takoyaki, and Japanese ice cream and pancake! Actually I planned to order them for dessert, turned out I was too full to even walk, lol.

Anyway, we figured that actually this is a two story building, the second story is open space with the view to the crowded street, sounds tempting but since we came there a noon we decided it would be too hot to be upstairs.

here's what I ordered; spicy ramen and pink guava juice. They're nice. The Spicy ramen isn't that spicy, pleasant to my tongue with egg and some Japanese spices I'm not sure what they called. The pink guava juice is refreshing, especially for such hot day like today.

I was so full after half bowl of the ramen (it's kinda big, yes) but it was good. My friend ordered Okonomiyaki and Iced lemon tea but because I'm such non-professional photo blogger, of course I forgot to shot hers. Oh well...

So to redeem myself, here I present yo more details of my order:

spicy ramen

Pink Guava Juice

At least now I've learnt how to take pictures and tell story about it. Seriously, I almost forgot how to do it because lately I only blogger about my thoughts. Not that it was bad but I shall share you glimpse of my life too, I guess.

PS. I even forgot to take pictures of myself (-__-")

childhood heroines

2011-11-02T03:46:00.000-07:00

I grew up in a society where TV was the only entertainment, internet wasn't so popular, and kids love to sit together in front of the television to watch cartoons. Every sunday there would be cartoons all day, or at least from the time kids usually woke up (which is early, I remember) until midday. I believe the international heroes and heroines more or less are the same in every country.

There was Sailormoon, Doraemon, Powepuff girls, and nickelodeon's series which I love very much. Now tell me if any of you are 90's kids and not knowing one of the characters said above, I say you should go rent the movies before it's too late. It's about your childhood we're talking about! Haha...

I can't compare avatar - the legend of Aang to Saint Seiya (which was one very cool story about cool heroes) or Dragon Ball, not even spongebob to Tom and Jerry, although I do love spongebon too.

Anyway, here's me randomly talking about my favorite characters in some cartoon series:

1. Sailor Venus (from Sailormoon)

Yes, Sailor Venus instead of Sailor Moon. I've never really like Usagi (Bunny) enough. She was clumsy and kind of stupid and I don't get why people have to protect her every time and I can't even understand why was she the queen and princess (lol, weird, I know) instead of the others. And she got the guy, and the others aren't, which is unfair because they didn't have time to fall in love being busy to protect the princess (urgh..). And the fact that basically I never really like main heroines who got all the spotlight in anything.

I guess I'd get some rotten tomatoes thrown at me by some Sailor Moon fans, lol.

Anyway, Sailor Venus is the leader of the Senshi (guardian, I guess), a Senshi of Love (yes, venus explains that much). And Aino Minako is an idol, or at least a girl obsessed with idols. Being the leader she's most responsible. The time she appeared for the first time people thought she was the princess, because she disguised herself as so in order to protect the real princess.

Told you, she's so cool.

The series itself, I don't remember the ending. It has so many characters in it and the stories grew complicated with time, not to mention some gender confusion (like there was one really cool guy who is in fact one of the Senshi and was a girl). But Sailormoon was a big part of my childhood, as I remember waking up early to watch every episodes on sunday morning. :D

2. Helga Pataki (from Nickelodeon's Hey Arnold!)

She's rude, she's cool, she's wild, she's not that pretty, she's secretly in love with Arnold but will never have the courage to say so, she's just the kind of heroines I like!

I feel that she's a mirror to most of the girls around, although she's a little bit too cruel, heheh... but hey! Being secretly in love is one thing we all share, no, girls? :)) That's the point.

I found her cute and contradictive. She's all kind of mean with weird tantrum, but falls so deeply in love too. She's boyish and rude but hey! She wears pink and HUGE ribbon!

I remember my favorite part of her was on some valentine's day episode where she disguised herself as one french girl and said to Arnold that the biggest gift may come in the simplest form. My young self cheered for that quote. :D

Bubble (from Powerpuff girls)

Okay, I know maybe I seem to be inconsistent. I said Sailor Moon was whiny and not cool and silly and all but then here I said I love Bubble of powerpuff girl who by all means is the crybaby, spoiled, little heroine. Yes, it must be something to do with baby blue as my favorite color. Plus, she's the cutest of all.

Anyway I just found out that there are Japanese version of Powerpuff Girls, which, in my opinion is so very cute. You know, all the details are more detailed and of course our little heroines here being a manga-styled girls. Here's a look:

Okay, that's all folks! I just shared you some not-so important thoughts about my favorite heroines from my childhood time. Ah... good old times... not sure what little kiddos nowadays watch. Oh... the 90s rocks too much :P

who's your favorite heroine? And I want to know the answer despite your age :D haha...

wide legged pants

2011-10-31T04:30:00.000-07:00

I'm all into wide legged pants lately, and skirts, yes maxi skirts... not sure if it's the trend now but I find myself loving to wear one (or two, or three) hahaha... anyway, it's kinda cute how when I wore them to campus and my friends praised it, lol... I know it looks funny on me (maybe it makes me kinda shorter? not sure, lol) but I love how comfy they are :D

I've been wanting to make outfit posts lately, just for the hell of it. But it's either the camera nowhere to be found (read: I'm too lay to pick it) or I don't really have time to.. because of course I look best after bathe in the morning, but a 7 o'clock class give me not so much time to do fancy things before I have to rush and make some hardcore acrobat on the street. lol.

Anyway, here's what I'm talking about.

isn't it lovely? I love the color too! I'm all kind of pastel girl anyway... hahaha...

and it's all claradevi's fault that I stumbled upon this lovely shop {love, bonito} and found what I was looking for! Oh my... payday is coming closer but heck... I've already planned on buying so many things... I'm gonna pray harder for more money then, hahahaha...

lovely! right? I love the color. This Detroit Flare Pants is also available in cream and black.

It's orange! It's plaited! It's a pants! It's making me droooooools... lollololol...

Panama Pants coming in more colors (which are lovely and I'm having hard time choosing); burnt orange, dusty pink, teal, mustard, and black.

PS.

This is an unpaid post, purely my needs talking. Hahaha... picture credits belonged solely to the owner of love, bonito. :D

because I just have to share it

2011-10-27T05:47:00.000-07:00

Maybe because it feels right, or maybe because it goes straight to my heart, maybe because it hits me hard, or maybe because I just can't agree more.

once upon a boring class

2011-10-18T19:46:00.000-07:00

"Leisure Time"

Read the time away

What are you doing in a boring class? While almost all classes are boring, though. I found myself either trying to distract my friend (you know, tickling, poking and stuff...), or trying hard not to sleep, or.. of course doodling. So here I am to show off (yet again) what I've created; once upon a boring class...

A set of girl pictures. What I doodled originally was so simple. With little tweak here and there, voila! :D :D the reading girl above is my favorite out of the bunch.

"Spacedancing"

... and the stars watching quietly, they probably are admiring me

"rain rain!"

There's always something about the rain and a girl with colorful umbrella

"Skip the Sky"

one two three four

skip skip skip and let's fly high

Which one of this set is your favorite? My personal favorite is the Leisure Time one, and Spacedancing. Hahah.. Okay, that was two. :P

Just in case you want to know, this set is going to be on my little shop soon :D and, just in another case (lol) you didn't notice (which I'm pretty sure most of you don't), I made some little (okay, a lot) changes in my shop, I changed the url, and the layout, and the settings, and now you can buy in one click instead of emailing me, and well.. there are changes in prices too. So come over and... well, have a look, maybe you'll find what you're looking for :)

I want!

2011-10-15T21:52:00.000-07:00

Some days ago I realized how rare of me to post pictures of me and my friends in this blog anymore, and i's not even because I have no confidence (because I'm such a big narcissistic alright), but because I don't have any camera with me! :O Isn't that quite sad? LOL, okay.. maybe not because it never really matters to me anyway.

But today, when I was just randomly browsing through some websites (to escape the reality that I have to read at least 2 journals and hundred pages of theories this week) I found this little beauty, and I fell in love instantly, like.. straight away! Okay, I know I always have this kind of moment upon seeing retro things but.. this is just so adorable!

I've been wanting to have a DSLR camera (since forever) but at the back of my mind I always complain about how big and stuffy they are. While I am one who doesn't really bring bag of books to classes (seriously, my bag is filled only with 1.little make up pocket containing compact, lip balm and blush on, 2. Cellphone, 3. Wallet 4. That's all...) --oh, I left my books in my locker by the way (or just borrow from my friend..)

So Imagine me squeaking with excitement when I saw this "OLYMPUS E-P1 - White". Okay, it has everything I want with it... simplicity, beauty, and it's coming in a wide range of price. I'm a beginner so I'm sure I'll just buy the cheapest one, lol.

Such beauty.. I'm speechless... *droooooools...

So, I am now currently staring at this beauty on my screen hoping if I stare hard enough maybe it'll pop out of my screen. I love everything about it, I don't know much about Camera specification so I'll just ask my photographer friend later about it. However, I'm already so wanting this beauty so badly, not to mention how matching it is to my little scooter, here's a picture if you forget.

and I forgot to update you that I just bought a pretty little cellphone because my old one is acting up and I couldn't receive any text message. So I decided to buy just the cheap but adorable Samsung Champ, which is not even android yet but as cute as one. I think I am a new Samsung fan now :)

Okay, I think you've found out already what a big fan of white and beige I am...

now now, all you need to do is pray for me to succeed on persuading my dear daddy to buy me the camera, I'm sure I'll post like heaps of pictures when I own one, lol.

Or maybe just pray that someone from Olympus Company read this blog post and sponsor me, mwahahah...

Okay, that's a wishful thinking.

But nothing's impossible, right?

pretty windows

2011-10-12T06:07:00.000-07:00

I love huge windows that I can stare to on my boring day, a nice view would be a bonus.

Look at how huge the window is, I really love this room, I think I can just sit there all day, reading or just staring through the windows. I mean, with such pretty scenery out there, I wouldn't mind. And look at the lamps! :)

[photo via cococozy]

and it would be so nice to have a window with sea view!

[photo via weheartit]

or a small windows and a secret hideout to ponder and wonder and read and (maybe) falling asleep on.

[photo via weheartit]

Jogja International Street Performance 2011

2011-09-30T07:15:00.000-07:00

No, I wasn't abducted by aliens :) and surprisingly, not being caught up by damn papers and homeworks too! I'm here alive, safe and sound, and happy.

I was given the chance to be a part of Jogja International Street Performance, which is somehing I'm really grateful for, it's like a holiday for me, away from all the paper and lesson. Ha! :P

This show is a cool one, I got to meet some local and international artist, and not only watch them but also befriend them. How fun!

The show was held for three days, the opening was held in one of the most crowded street in town. It makes me feel cool that they cleared the road for us! Meheheh...

the VIP seats

sterilized road

It feels somehow like mardi gras, I guess. All in all, it's a carnival where street performers and artist came in their colorful costumes, and I was there to make sure everyone and everything went right, thankfully it did! :D

pretty girls in their colorful costumes

a mix of punk and traditional dance, me likey!

street performers

snuff puppet in all their costume glory :D

ronnarong kampha from thailand

the first performer

The 2nd and 3rd show was held indoor in a concert hall, it was a free show so there was so many people coming (which is a good thing!)

I met so many new friends, experienced so many new things and learnt so many things I didn't know before. I am all about grateful :)

photo credits: Kurnia Rahmanto (Theomator)

in which I no longer believe in happy ending

2011-09-09T20:32:00.000-07:00

What? What did you say, title? littletiara doesn't believe in happy ending anymore? Look, I know it's fairytale-ish, and childish, and all the way too girly and dreamy but those are what this littletiara is (was?) like!are you kidding me? What happened to her? Did she smack her head on the wall on her sleep? (yes, many times). Did someone brainwashed her? (no chance). Was she abducted by aliens and the one writing here now is her impersonator? (is that even possible?)

See, she had been through so many heartbreaks, failure in relationships, some failures even before the relationship itself, but do you believe all those stuff will broke her bad enough to stop believing in happy ending? Because all the while she was walking on sunshine, her world was all pink and pastel and baby blue, the land she was stepping in was soft and fluffy and there were like gazilion rainbows on her sky, why the sudden change?

Oh right, because now she got to think more, she sat and contemplated on what had happened to her in this lifetime, and she realized that her question was wrongly phrased.

It should be what had she done to herself in this lifetime, and then the realization hit her; there's no such thing like happy ending.

All those colorful books, with princes and princesses in it, or all those Disney movies with their cute and happy soundtrack (she still does love the songs! YES!), oh what lies they've sprinkled there! With every stories, every single stories, ended with "and they lived happily ever after. THE END" oh yeah right, happy ending crap.

She then realized that happy endings existed only for those in the books and films, not in real life. What would you say when someone ask you "when is your happy ending?" Would you tell them it's when your boyfriend proposed to you? Or when you finally married each other? Or when you have your first child? Or when your child first goes to school? When is it exactly?

See, there's no such thing like happy ending. Life goes on, doesn't end.

I no longer believe in happy ending, instead I change it to continuous happiness, or at least trying to. Since I'm a believer of black and white, I believe that happiness exist because we can feel the sadness, that there is light because of the darkness.

Oh well, you know what? What I'm going to do now is to be happy along the journey, to be thankful of whatever happen and enjoy everything, every single thing.

"Happiness is a journey, not a destination; happiness is to be found along the way not at the end of the road, for then the journey is over and it's too late. The time for happiness is today not tomorrow."

wish list #5217265

2011-08-26T09:12:00.000-07:00

As you all know already (or maybe not...) I'm all about boots and coats.. and laces! My oh my... and scary things happened when I saw these lovelies incidentally when I was browsing... Oh gracious goodness, please let not there be holes in my pocket, amen! lol

1. This pretty lacey boots... this got me stay up all night ~~drooling~~ thinking of how to make money so I can buy them. It's not even that pricey but still... I'm pretty much uncontrollable when it comes to shopping >_< I'm so bad bad.

2. This one's even scarier! They came to my dreams, haunted me, provoking me to click the "buy" button. I woke up sweaty and obsessed (of course, those were lies... lol, but really I want them SO badly it's unhealthy).

soooo pretty... so very pretty... *sigh* I want this! I want this! (okay, I may end up buying this one, really).

aren't they all pretty?

The night I cried my heart out

2011-08-12T23:20:00.001-07:00

How long has it been since the last time you cried? It’s been long for me (excluding the times I cried for Korean dramas/movies that is) and some nights ago, for the hell of it, I cried out loud.

For no particular reason, or maybe for too many reasons, maybe I’ve kept all the sadness inside and that night was the night for me to let it all out, for whatever reason, I cried the hell out of me.

I cried out loud, and by out loud I meant the whole house could hear me, I didn’t try to stifle the sound, I didn’t try to hide the tears, I cried with my mouth open, I wailed, I threw tantrum, I kicked my imaginary enemy, I cried like a five year old girl who lost her favorite Barbie doll, I cried like some crazy woman.

Guess what? It felt good.

thank you

2011-08-11T07:43:00.001-07:00

I miss talking about my life, and my feeling, and my heart… I miss talking about anything really. The latest posts here in this blog feels less-genuine for me I don’t know why. The last post I really liked the feeling was when I talked about the boy I like, in which nothing really happen between us after that. Well, good companion that’s it, I guess.

I know that was just two posts away but heck, it feels like soooo long time ago. I need to find my way back to writing as a healing way instead of just writing because I am feeling guilty for leaving blogsphere for too long. Does other bloggers suffer from this too? Or is it just me? o.O

Anyway, looking at Krissy and Kym’s latest posts makes me kinda want to try talk from my heart again.

So this post is dedicated for everyone I know, I’ve posted it on my tumblr but I guess there will be changes here and there :)

I have friends, I’m in love with them, I am so grateful that I have them around me, I can’t be any luckier, and I know I can’t say thank you enough.

Thank you for being there for me when I am the happiest, happiness feels less happy when not shared, what is in a happiness when you have nobody to share it with? why laugh when you have nobody to laugh together with?

When I am happy, I tend to share, to tell it to the world, but of course the first one I share the happiness with would be my closest friends, sometimes, I keep things for a while because I don’t want to look too crazy, but who am I kidding, my friends know who I am inside and out, less-crazy me? NEVER! :)) we’ve even bathed together, what do I have to hide anymore? LOL

Thank you for being there with me when I am sad, be the ones to hug me, pats me on the back, smack some senses to me, lend me your shoulder to cry on, letting me cry out loud and just bear with it, or even just stare for afar because you know all too well nothing really make sense to the crying me.

Thank you for letting me be there when you are happy, thank you for sharing the happiness :D thank you for letting me be there when you are sad, although I am not really good on comforting people, thank you for letting me learn from things happened to you, because sometimes when troubles happen to other is when I think the most about the solution.

Thank you for being my anchor because I sway too much, thank you for being there and put colors to my days, thank you for all the lessons, thank you for being the lights when my days got too dark, and for being the shade when my days being all too bright and blinding. Thank you for just being there, thank you for letting me know you and be your friend.

Whenever talking about friends, I got confused as to which ones I actually mean to be the ones I’m talking about, but then I realized that each and everyone I know, including you has taken part in my life, in helping me find me and be me.

I may not know you personally, maybe we have never even met before, maybe we do but never really talk, maybe we’re just friends, maybe we’ve chatted once in awhile but nothing really happen and nothing bonds us, maybe we’re close, maybe you’re my best friend, maybe I just know your story through gossip, or your blog post, or you’re a friend of my friend’s friend, and so on and so forth.

But really thank you, thank you for just being there.

Green with envy, aren't you? :p

2011-08-03T10:16:00.000-07:00

I know you all know that everything in Asia is cheaper than in the US or Europe, I've heard gazillion times people saying/writing/blogging about how surprised they are when buying things in Indonesia. I agree that they're right, BUT you gotta be envious of me even more because I'm living in a city where everything is cheaper compared to other big cities here :))

My city, Yogyakarta, is famous as a city of students because 1.) There are like billions universities here (okay, that was me being hyperbolic) and 2.) One of the best (or at least most famous) university is here (mine! YAY!) sooo since there are heaps of students here, the prices gotta be lower (because we, students, LOVE that).

Okay, here are some stuffs I found today when I went shopping. I bet my life you'll all be jealous :))

marching band-themed cardigan

It looks like black and white stripes here, but actually it's dark navy blue (doesn't matter, lol) guess how much did I have to spend for this? Brace your heart, I got it for around $5 great deal, huh?

leather flat shoes

I fell for this baby because it has its vintage-ish look when I put it on my feet, price? $3 (!!!)

white flat rubber shoes

I really didn't plan on buying this, but this baby looks soooo good (and comfy!) on my feet so I couldn't excape the temptation heh-heh :)) anyway when I first saw this pair of shoes they didn't have the price tag on them. Believe me I was as surprised as you are when the clerk told me they're for $2 only!

So... Look, those are some great deals. Of course you can find things in higher price if you want to :)) actually I was just strolling around the street with no intention to buy anything but well... Who can resist the charm? One of the reason why things are so cheap (even for me) are because it's near Ied for muslims, almost like christmas, there are sales everywhere. Those three, I got them for less than $10. Hahah... I'm being so cheap, aren't I?

p.s. Indonesia use Rupiah (IDR), but I converted them to dollar (USD) here so you all can be envious, mwahahahah.. :P

A long Ramble about Process (or something along that line)

2011-07-31T02:18:00.000-07:00

One of my favorite things is watching some process happening, like how a catterpillar turns into butterflies, or make over; the stylist does some magic and ta-daah! Here come the cinderella! Or something "before-after"-related :D I love to compare how was it before and how it turned out after. So I love looking back through pages of an old album filled with baby me pictures and just adore myself :))

Anyway, this is going to be the first time I show you the progress of my drawing, starting from sketch to the next step until it finished. Everytime I finished a picture, I can't help to just loving my new baby. It happens every time, every single time. Narcisist much? lol.

If you're my facebook friend then most probably you've seen it before, heheh...

ver. 01 (Sketch)

I've been quite intrigued with fate-themed talk lately. All those soulmates and red-string stuff? Yes, that's what I've been thinking about. So once upon a leisure time, I found my pencil and paper and start to draw. One thing about me and my drawing, once I start to draw, I have to finish it right after. Else it won't ever be finished.

So here it is, a picture quite clear about two fated people.

ver. 02 (vector)

I bet you'll all agree that vector isn't really my thing. It's quite plain and although I've tried to put on more details, still I feel it's missing something. Maybe because it's too digital and not so "handmade". Oh well, you know what I'm talking about, right?

Even so, every time I see a nice-looking vector image I always want to learn how to make one. Haha... Hail to my curiosity!

ver. 03 (finished)

When I started drawing, I already have images in my head of how I want it to be like. I want the guy to walk on a snowy night, I want the girl to sleep soundly in a dim room. However, some things don't turn out as I planned, which is the fun part. You can never guess how it'll turn out.

I'm in love with this picture, like I always do to my other pictures. That's why my twitter bio says "a hopeless romantic who draws magic" about me. Because every time I finished a picture I felt like I've done some magical process ;D (and I thought about changing/erasing the "hopeless" part since it doesn't sound nice to me :P)

Well, I hope you like this artwork as much as I do (it even makes it to be my cellphone wallpaper hahaha...).

to wear the heart upon one's sleeve

2011-07-25T09:55:00.000-07:00

How long has it been since the last time I posted here? Three weeks? a month? Time surely flies too fast to my liking. Anyway, how long exactly has it been since the last time I talked about boys? Any boys in my life? I can’t quite remember. Who was the last guy being talked about here? Was it le ex? That would be almost a year ago, seriously?

Okay, so I’m coming back, hopefully for good, and the opening story would be about a boy. Unfortunately, the story isn’t really a pretty one. Well, rest assured, it’s not about a heartbreak (yet) because basically there’s no heart that’s breaking (yet, and hopefully there won’t be any). But you see… me and this new guy, we didn’t start off really good.

you can’t stick your toes in the water,

you gotta jump and finally go underwater

Let’s just say that this guy is a friend, whom I wasn’t really close to but got closer as the time being.

It had been long long time since I really got smitten by a guy. I mean, how long has it been since the last time I told you about falling in love? I can’t answer it, I had long forgotten how it felt like.

So, when there was a single little butterfly doing some somersaults movement in my tummy the moment he asked me out, I was in every kind of shock. I was afraid, but I was happy, I was so excited to the point of being terrified.

Which was not really a good thing.

When I am afraid (or nervous) I tend to do lots of silly things, like thinking that a booze would help me calm down a little bit, which was wrong. So, on our very first date (if you want to call it one) I was half drunk half nervous, not a nice combo. Really.

I spilled my orange juice all over our table. Twice. (see how nervous I was? I'm not even sure what I was so nervous about)
I talked half-consciously (blame the beer)
I made so many silly expressions; like a cutesy one-you know, puppy eyes all night long (ew..).
and I’m pretty much sure I said and did even more nonsensical things I don’t even want to remember.

Now, that was one of the worst starts I’ve ever made.

But, since I am kinda sure that I like this guy, I decided to follow what my heart says (not like I have any other choice) and wear it upon my sleeve. It doesn’t take a genius to guess about me liking him, and I’m sure he’s not stupid either. So yeah, I like him. Not in love (yet) but I really really like him.

When I think of why I do like him, what I like about him, I cannot quite pinpoint.

If I really have to write something about it, then it would be how he made me an honest girl, a damn honest one. I usually am one who hides disappointment to avoid further problems, it doesn’t occur to me when it’s him-related; when I am disappointed of what he does to me, I’ll say it out loud, when he makes me happy, I’ll make sure he knows, and the fact that I like him, like I’ve said before; is quite obvious for the whole world to know.

and about this fact alone, I am kinda proud of myself and thankful to him.

Does he like me back? I don’t know, most probably he doesn't (since I've done so many icky things a girl could ever do a lifetime only in a night). Am I sad about it? Yes, It's only normal that I do. Can I control this feeling? No, neither I can nor do I want to. Anyway, I couldn't care less about that right now, I am enjoying this “falling in like” time (right, not falling in love because it isn't).

While I know how annoying it is being pestered by someone I don’t really like, I just can’t stop being selfish and continue liking him shamelessly. I might, most probably, ended up in a heartbreak, (which I hope won’t ever happen however miraculously) then again, I will take care of that later when it happens.

Now, I need you to wish the best for me so I won't have to suffer from any heartbreak all over again. No matter how prepared I am, a heartbreak is still a heartbreak and whatever breaks, hurts. Especially when it's a heart.

don’t be careful with me I’m not so delicate I gave you my heart, I know the chance I’m taking

(Meg & Dia – don’t be careful with me)

pictures from weheartit

I sleep better when it rains

2011-06-25T19:06:00.000-07:00

I love rainy days, the pitter-patter sound of each drop hitting the roof and then falls to the ground relaxes me.

I love the magical warmth when it rains, snuggling under the blanket or a cup of hot chocolate

I love rain, and rainbow

I made this picture on a rainy day, under my blanket.

Outside my window, the colorful raindrops sang me a lullaby. And before I knew it, I landed my feet upon the soft and fluffy colorful cloud, oh, of course that was a dream, a very nice dream indeed.

When I woke up, there was a magic line in the sky.

the first three pictures are from weheartit

4th picture was my recent artwok

the 5th picture were taken by my friend when we went to the beach few times ago.

a letter to my future self.

2011-06-17T10:03:00.000-07:00

Hello myself!

So you're littletiara, the same littletiara as me, only five years older. I hope that five years do make lots of differences, but not that much. Wait, are you still a littletiara or a slightly bigger tiara now? Either way, I hope you're looking as cute as I am, but cooler.

How's life? Has it been treating you well? Okay, let's just cut some slacks and come to the point.

Have you found yourself a nice boyfriend? or hubby already? (This part really should come last but you know me, this is the part I am most eager to know, really...) How is he? Is he kind and cool and all you can expect from a guy? Is he dependable? Are you two completing each other well? Most important, are you two happy? You make him happy, right?

So, who is he? Is he someone I know? Come on, at least give me some hint, I'm so curious!

How's business? You've made a bigger social circle than I do, right? I believe you've met so many inspirational people, learn from them and be one of them! Pick you lazy butt up and do something girl! Oh please, don't go online as much as I do! Okay, you can, only when you can earn more money than I do by doing so, agreed?

Still drawing, aren't you? You should, you must! It's what our passion is, so keep doing it! And writing! Yes, writing like what I am doing right now. You know how helpful it is to relieve some stress, no? Yes, right. Keep doing it too.

Look, self. If life sucks, if the boyfriend/hubby (just... how am I supposed to know? There's the possibility, right?) is annoying, if your one of your friends makes you feel like punching him/her on the face, remember that we both have gone through it all before, and we did quite good. If I can do it, you can do it too, right? Because you're way cooler than I am.

I am saying this now so you can remember what you need to remember. I'm sure you already know all these, but most of the time, we tend to forget. I know how forgetful you are.

Never forget to be thankful and cherish everything given to you. Learn from your mistakes (and mine too), take every lesson and live life to the fullest.

No matter what hardship you're going through, believe me you can past through it. Because littletiara, you're one very cool lady, a stronger woman ;)

xoxo ♥

coat! coat! coat!

2011-05-29T22:24:00.000-07:00

Help me! I'm insane! Oh my... I've been lusting over heaps and heaps and heaps of coat pics for the past week. I just love them! As much as I love babydolls and flowery dresses *sigh*

(via http://www.hypedemocracy.com)

I love how simple this coat is, and the beige color! *melts* and it doesn't help that the model is a little bit too cute for her own good. One thing I'm unsure about is how tall the model is, I mean... it wouldn't look that good if I'd be drown in it, right? LOL.

via http://www.hypedemocracy.com

or something a little bit more shape-y. I love that details, but it looks a little bit too warm for me who lives in this tropical country. Would match the cold nights, though :)

via http://www.trendysg.com

soooo loving this! Simple and yet... ah... I think I should stop talking and show you some pictures huh?

via http://www.pop-fashion-wholesale.com/

via http://www.pop-fashion-wholesale.com

via http://anna.openstores.com.au

the ring and the princess

2011-05-21T22:34:00.000-07:00

a little, simplified story of my love life.

Once upon a time in a not-so-far away land, lived a princess. Not the prettiest but a pretty princess after all. The Princess loved her jewelries, she had stacks of necklaces and shiny bangles and earrings and colorful tiaras, you name it.

But one day she realized that there was a problem, she couldn't find a suitable ring for herself. So she decided to go find her ring.

She went to the market, and found rings of so many kinds. Different kind of gem stones, shapes, colors and sizes. She picked her favorites and tried them on, most of them are too big for her slim, slender fingers. She bought some of them and kept them in her box.

When she went back to the palace, she tried them on once again. There was one that fitted her finger quite nicely. But she didn't like the gemstone, not her style, so she put it back to the box.

When she looked through her old collection, she found one very pretty ring which was never looked so good before. But just like the other rings, this one was too big for her. Nonetheless, she put it on her fingers because she loved it so much and she thought it looked nice on her finger.

Days passed and she still wore the ring, at times --most of the times-- the ring would fall from her finger, but she tried her best to keep it there, until one day it slipped away from her finger and broke. The princess was heartbroken, although deep inside her heart she knew sooner or later it would happened.

Later on, she went to a bazaar and found even more beautiful rings. There was one shiny rings, just looking at it made the princess happy, just when she thought she found her ring, she figured out that it was another princess' ring. Of course, she knew well enough not to want it.

The princess figured, she should not only look for a pretty ring. What more important is if it fits her. Of course, It would be nice if the ring is both pretty and suitable for her.

Now, the princess is still looking for the perfect ring for her. At least now she knows what she's looking for.

what makes me happy #2

2011-05-09T20:24:00.000-07:00

Cat

Isn't it obvious that I am a cat person? I am spoiled, I am lazy... and I am cute (yes, what?) hahaha... For me, adopting my Tiger the moment I saw him in my uni cafeteria is one of the most random things ever happened to me. I mean, I know for sure that my mom disliked cats, and my dad was never cared about them. I hid him in my room the first day I adopted him because I know my mom wouldn't agree.

And I was right.

There were countless time mom threatened me to kick Tiger out of the house because he was so naughty and untrained. Thank goodness he was cute enough so he stayed. There's something about him (I believe it's the sickeningly cute pleading eyes) that knock your heart and touch the soft spot there. No matter how many times Mom got angry because of him, those many times she forgives him.

Now? Mom and Tiger are best buddies. She still don't like it when Tiger sleeps on her sofa, because it's hers. But that's also Tiger favorite spot. So when mom isn't around he would be the king. LOL. It's actually cute how Tiger was the first thing she'll look for when she gets home from work.

No matter what he's doing; hunting caterpillar ( he thinks he's a real Tiger and the caterpillar is a zebra, let him be), sleeps on my laptop, or anything, once he heard Mom's car, he'll stop and run to pick her up. By all ways and means, if he thinks I takes too long opening the door, he'll jump from the window. Isn't that the cutest? :D

ps. Tiger is now sick, he doesn't want to eat and I'm not sure why T__T anyone of you knows what to do about it?

Draw

another obvious fact. I mean, yes, that's what I chose to do for living, there's no way I can love anything more than spending my days drawing (or looking at other's drawing). Anything drawing-related makes me happy, and recharged.

deviantart and weheartit are on my top list. I love getting inspirations from them. Sometimes, I just sit around, listening to a music, and BAM! an idea pop up. When it does, there's nothing can stop me from making it come true.

There are times (countless times), I can't put what I have in mind to the paper. No matter how hard I try, the images I draw is nothing close to what I have in my brain. That's okay, though. It gives me hope of learning more, so someday I can really make it come true.

People ask me where did I got my ideas. I say, it's from the heart. Maybe it's just me, I believe I'm a totally feeling-based person. When I'm in love, it's gonna be all pink and hearts. When I'm heartbroken, the longing and the sadness are gonna be put obviously in the drawing.

One thing for sure, I am thankful that I am what I am. It makes me an honest person. I may not say it out loud, but I find another media to scream it to you all. So, there's no bottled feeling.

what makes me happy #1

2011-05-07T20:21:00.000-07:00

Apple

an apple a day keeps the doctor away might be true after all. I mean, you're stronger when you're happy, right? I believe so. Apple never fails me, be it apple pie, apple juice or just the fruit.

Even peeling apples makes me happy.

Dad always ask me to peel apples for him, almost everyday. He's an avid apple fans too, I guess. So other than just using knife to strip off its skin, peeling apple for me has a new different meaning. It's like a form of a bonding between me and my daddy, which makes me love apple even more.

Every time dad asks me to peel an apple (or two, or three) for him I always pout. But then I do it anyway. I love how it gives me time to just sit and think. I, every so often, forget that I need this kind of time. It clears my mind, and as I finished peeling the apple, I'm refreshed.

Books

I love reading so so much. I can spend the whole night just reading anything. Of course it's always fun reading fiction novels, but two days ago I found out that hey! My textbook is just as fun!

Seriously, I must be one of the geekiest girl to find something fun in a textbook filled with curve of market demand and stuff.

I read anything, like for real. Which is one of the reason why I love internet so much. Lots of free, top-notch, inspiring things to read from all around the world. Blogs, random stories, people's confession, projects, forums, even twitter and facebook statuses. practically anything.

I am always in drought to read more, to read even more. One night I got so scared because I couldn't seem to stop myself from reading while I was sooooo sleepy already. LOL, no worries, I still have the control of myself, I slept after I finished the chapter (and read the next right after I woke up in the morning.)

I love how reading gives me insight of what the writer thinks. It's like a letter from the author, I can either agree or disagree with their thoughts. It's a way of understanding people even more. More so, it inspires me, it gives me time to daydream, it gives me ideas. That's how much I love it.

I plan to make a bookmark using my design, I think it would be lovely (for me) to see my artwork as a reminder where I stopped reading the previous night. Would you love it too? Hmm? *winks*

and they lived happily ever after

2011-05-04T21:39:00.000-07:00

and when I'm eighty years old, I'm sitting next to you

and we'll remember when we say I do

(Colbie Caillat - I do)

I always, always love seeing old couple together, hand in hand. It makes me hopeful that somehow, someone would be able to love me for the rest of his life, forever. The avid daydreamer in me, of course gets all jittery thinking about it, not to mention the hardcore lover.

So when I found this post over Jesse Holland's site, I can't help but to share it with you guys.

Wine, cheese, and love... these are some of the things that gets better with age, can't agree more. The couple below, had been married for 55 years. Imagine that, 55 years of togetherness and still counting, what can a hopeless romantic in me ask for more?

Ah, need not I say more. The more I look at the pictures, the more I melt.

I want to be able to say that I am old and wrinkly and he is too but we love each other the same like we did years ago, maybe even more so. That he looks just the same like a boy that captured my heart years ago, the one who chased after me and still chases after me.

After all that we've been through, we survived and stay together with endless love streaming everyday.

I want to look at him in the eyes and find the same burning love and passion I found years ago. One that will bring me an ear to ear smile just like it had always been.

Dare I say that this couple is pretty much a real definition of happily ever after I've always dreamed of. See, it's not impossible after all.

more pictures available here

so far so good

2011-05-02T08:03:00.000-07:00

Hello darling, how are you? I'm fine thank you.

So... since school had started officially today, I could say; so far so good. Well... Here are some facts I found:

1. I am the youngest one in class, seriously! I'm the little sister. The age range is so wide, and we came from very varied background. There are married man and woman, employees, fresh graduates ( I consider myself a fresh graduate, haha...) this is quite fun :)

2. I think it's only natural to make a group where we think we belong to the most. I ended up hanging out with bunch of boys. Really, what's with me and a group of boys? Maybe it's just a habit that I am attached more to boys than girls. So far I am the only girl in this group, and yes, they're so much fun to be with (the best friend included here).

3. Since it only started, we haven't got any assignments yet, but the seniors had told us to prepare ourselves for heaps of it. Okay, I'll come prepared!

4. The class I was in today is quite fun, lots of discussions and group task. Which lets me know my friends even more.

5. The books! The books are thick and heavy I should take a picture of them some other time to show you. I think I could kill Tiger just by throwing the book to him. lol!

So? Yeah... so far so good.

I'm still feeling nervous once in a while. This is something new for me anyway. Ahh... Wish me more luck again! :D

study!

2011-04-28T09:38:00.000-07:00

Gracious goodness! No matter how many times I think about it, it will still sound so crazy for me to do: taking my master. I took business management for my master and entrepreneurship as my major.

I am never a fan of studying, really. I hate being in a class listening to what the teacher says and noted them all down. I love experiencing more, "learning by doing" must be one of my favorite phrases along with thousand others.

Surprisingly, thinking about taking my master makes me giddy. In which I thought I must've gone mad already. It's scary, meeting new people with different background who I believe are far more experienced than me in doing business. That, also makes me impatient, I can't wait to figure out how many new friends I can make, and who are they.

I spent some nights thinking if I really did choose the right thing for me, of course I don't know if it does. But learning from what had happened in life, it must be the right path. Well... I don't think we've ever chose a wrong path anyway.

The thoughts of being in a class thrills me, in a good way. It's been long since the last time I did that. While I know there will be like tons of papers to do, I seriously (surprisingly) excited about studying again.

Classes officially starts next week (may 2nd) but tomorrow there will be gathering. I think it'll be fun, wish me luck! :D

of music

2011-04-26T07:49:00.000-07:00

What do you do when you need inspiration?

Being someone who depends (kinda) on my own drawing for the living, I need inspirations almost everytime. Which doesn't always happen. Other than being artsy, I am kind of moody. Good mood is essential.

When seeking inspirations or good mood, first thing I run to is music

I must be that sort of weird girl who sees things when listening to instrumental music, but yes, I do. I listen to Yiruma (his soothing piano is.. soothing...) and depapepe (I love how cheerful their songs are, and yes, they're playing guitar).

My newest finding is Yann Tiersen. He is absolutely adorable, which later I found was the one who created the whole soundtrack for "La Valse d'Amelie"

I can't remember which song but when I listened to his songs few days ago, I had this vision of a girl, running in a forest, dark one, and she was dancing under the moonlight (while running, who knows, it's random). So yeah, I tried to put it to canvas.

Not exactly what I've envisioned but yeah, close enough. Instead of running under the moonlight I think she created magic for herself. I love how music can make me do something cool, lol.

What do you do when you need inspiration?

changes

2011-04-15T01:28:00.000-07:00

Change is inevitable, except from a vending machine

-Robert C. Gallagher

Hmm... I think this one is gonna be quite personal, but then again everything I wrote here in my blog is personal, lol.

I love walking down the memory lanes and find things I didn't realize when it happened and learn from the past. Looking back, I realized that I've changed much. I didn't say it's a bad thing, though.

Sometimes I find myself wondering, what would my friends from Junior High and High School say if they found how much I've changed.

Now, I know these thing below will sound normal to you all but not here, especially not when happens to me. I guess I have this "girl next door" written somewhere on my face that people always think that I am innocent. Which I am not.

Compared to my 15 year old self, these past years, I've experienced more things. Say, went out adventuring with my friends, went clubbing (spent my new year in one), kissed boys, drink alcohol, watch porn... and more things on a list of thing to not do before.

This thought of mine may be wrong, but I think it's a part of learning. Sure, people can have their opinions, but I am thankful to choose to do those. I shouldn't just do things people tell me to and not do what they say not to. I need reasons, why should I and why shouldn't I.

At last, I found what I needed to know. Reason and purpose.

Like how I not drinking when clubbing. I enjoy clubbing, but I dislike how I smell of smoke after (and those shameless drunken guys are annoying). I like alcohol, but I prefer water more. I decide to not drink when clubbing, because I know I went there to dance and not to get drunk.

I'm glad I know how fun clubbing is, and I know how annoying those drunken lads are. How alcohol isn't that yum, though would be nice to be drunk sometimes with friends. I think it's better finding and enjoying it now than later when I have kids and family.

I wrote this half prayed that people won't see me as an alcoholic chic who goes in and out the nightclub everyday. I'm not. So I'm neither that innocent girl, nor an alcoholic chic, I am merely an ordinary little woman finding myself.

Then I think, maybe my friends won't be that surprised. They should've changed too, right? Because everybody's changing.

genius crush

2011-04-11T03:06:00.000-07:00

I always think smart guys are hot. You see, those who can speak up their minds, voicing their opinions. A nice glasses and nerd-ish kind of cool appearance is a plus. Haha... I mean, who can resist such cute nerd like the one above? Especially when he's really a smart guy? I can't.

Of course.

Of all the smarties and geniuses out there, I have always adored Albert Einstein. He's such a cutie in my opinion (I know some of you must have your eyebrow raised upon reading this, lol)

I love his quotes and words and thoughts. Like how he humbly said that he had no special talent, and that he was just passionately curious. Or how he tells us that the true sign of intelligence is not knowledge but imagination. Isn't he lovely?

Alright, I should stop talking about him like he's one of the hotties out there, lol. This makes me sounds so nerdy (which I don't mind at all).

"Learn from yesterday, live for today, hope for tomorrow. The most important thing is not to stop questioning." -Albert Einstein

"Who is your genius crush?"

new layout and a giveaway

2011-04-09T07:50:00.000-07:00

WHAT? Another new layout?

Oh yes dear, it is. Am I having identity crisis? Probably, but at least I'm enjoying it. lololol...

I wanted to go for a clear, simple look. So here it is! Plus I (finally) changed the header pic. I know that girl with little tiara had been up there for long it feels different now without her, but look! I put everyone's favorite picture down under there! Yes, the dance :D So I hope you all like it.

After long blogging, I figured that I am pretty much a totally girly girl (lol), and this baby blue-baby pink combo is just perfect for me, has always been my favorite since forever.

Okay, this is a short post. I'm telling you there will be changes here and there later (heheh...).

Oh, anyway. Krissy, a really dear bloggy friend of mine had just celebrated her 25th birthday, and to make her birthday merrier she holds a giveaway. Which I gladly announce, she put me as one of the gives she's giving away to her readers.

So what are you waiting for? There! Visit her and join the giveaway! :D

edit: I decided to join this 30 days drawing challenge, not gonna promise anything, though. I am bad on doing things like this but anyway...

day 1. Draw a picture of yourself/ your persona.

So I've tried making a picture of a happy go lucky girl, but no matter how many times I tried, I failed. (-__-) so I just made my current state and woot! It worked! You can't lie through art, I guess...

Here, I present to you. My crazy self in front of my laptop. Yes, with empty snack and messy hair (and unused headphone) the only thing I missed was the even messier details on my table, lololol.

Oh, I honestly find it cute! XD

Me and My Drawing

2011-04-06T07:23:00.001-07:00

This may not be important to you, but well… I want to talk about it anyways… heheh…

I still can’t believe that I really am doing what I love to do as the way to earn money. Really, it seems pretty surreal to do things I love and get paid for that. Yes, drawing it is.

So in this post I’ll tell you more about me and this particular hobby of mine.

I am a Pisces; intuitive, helpless romantic, imaginative and most of all, creative –that’s what they say about Pisces. I love singing and dancing and of course, drawing. My old notebooks and diaries were filled with drawings, ugly ones I can say, haha… but drawings nonetheless. I remember made a messy drawing in my mother’s book, at that time, in my mind I was making a map, the world map. Looking at it now, though, I can’t really see any map there, lol. It’s just a picture of messy lines.

I am glad my parents never scolded me for drawing everywhere. Which is a good thing :D I keep drawing and drawing without any knowledge how to do it properly. Wait, there is this complicated rule in art I figured; there’s no proper knowledge when talking about art, all we have to do when doing art is to follow our hearts and let it takes the lead. But I also found that there are some basic knowledge it’d be better for us to know.

I must be one of the luckiest girl around.

When I was in 4th grade, I’ve moved for the 4th time. I found a friend, one who knows how to draw, we made a really great relationship, and one day she taught me how to draw, I discovered gradation of colors, I discovered techniques, and I am so thankful for it. I started joining drawing competitions every week, won some of them, and my parents couldn’t be more proud seeing that little by little I filled my room with trophies.

Growing older, I stepped into the teenage life. Junior high and High school passed less artistically. I cared more about boys and did less drawing, I learned more about love and joined less competitions. I was busy discovering the new world I was in, and left my hobby behind. It stayed with me, though. Whenever I felt an overflowing feelings, I would draw, or write. I draw more when I was bored, during the lesson or after a test (I usually finished exam faster than my friends –doesn’t mean I got better result, I just got bored too easily, lololol).

So you see, I kinda drifted away, but it stays faithfully with me.

Everything started all over again when I was in university and started blogging again. I adored people who show off their drawing talents on their blogs (still do now), but I never really did something about it. It took a boring class, facebook and blog. I draw random stuff during a boring class, colored it on my computer using my mouse (not a mouse pen yet, which is hella tiring). Pretty satisfied with how it turned out, I uploaded it on facebook and blog. The response was all positive and it was (kinda) surprising, which boosted up my confidence.

After long consideration and little more ensuring words from my friends, I then decided to ask my daddy dear to buy my the wanted mouse pen; wacom bamboo. I paid half of it, I saved my pocket money, and I was so proud of it.

There, the journey was officially started.

Winner! Winner!

2011-03-22T05:38:00.001-07:00

:O I know I promised to announce the winner on the 21st but I was in such a bad mood (blame pms, darls…. lol) so it is delayed, I hope you won’t get mad at me *shield myself* haha…

Alright, so I asked random generator and here are the lucky darlings :D

14 Courtney from Kitten Roar; 16 Rika from Lost Wanderer and 6 Krissy from I am Krissy!

Congratulations winner! Please do send me your address to my email: tiara_purnomo@yahoo.fr

I really hope I can send everyone the gift but of course I am not rich enough to do that, haha… but well… let’s we all pray that I will soon so I can have another giveaway soon :D

celebration time

2011-03-14T09:55:00.001-07:00

So I’ve finished the coloring of “dance in the wild” and I gotta say I am quite contented with it. I love the complexity of the black and white version, but then, I also love the colorful version. I know most of you commented that you liked the black and white version better but I hope you’re changing your mind now because I’m giving three of it away to celebrate my birthday which would also be the opening of ‘littletiara shoppe’ on march 16th, printed on a A6 thick paper. So I guess it’s time to say YAY! :D

along with this print I will also include a notebook with the cover of your choice :) you can choose your favorite design to be the cover here in the littletiara shoppe. How good is that sound? Good enough? Here are some of them.

How to join the giveaway?

(1.) just leave me a comment here about anything you want to talk about :)
(2.) please do take a look around my little shoppe and tell me which design is your favorite to be your little notebook cover.
(3.) if you’re feeling generous, please do tell your friends about this giveaway (and/or my shoppe) :D

There, leave separate comments for each one :)

I will announce the winner on march 21st :) *just because I love the number 21 hahaha…

PS. If you can’t access the shoppe, go here (clickityclickclick) –it’s my portfolio.

add: This giveaway is open worldwide sooo anyone can join! :D

a little memo for boys

2011-03-08T08:46:00.001-08:00

I found this quote on tumblr and I just have to disagree…

Just remember, every girl before me was a mistake and every girl after me will be a downgrade.

NOT.

I believe, me and my fellow girls are the best, none of us is better from another. It’s just that maybe I don’t suit you, and other girl does. Maybe someone doesn’t suit you, but I do, and it takes time to find the right one.

Nobody is lower than another, so no worries, the girl before me wasn’t a mistake, she’s someone you must be thankful of for the lesson she gave and memories she shared with you. And the one after me might be the one you’ve been looking for, the one who can give you what you’ve always wanted (which I couldn’t be-I’m sorry), she’s not a downgrade, love her like how she deserves to be.

what this little lady dreams about

2011-02-28T07:05:00.001-08:00

What do you want to be when you grow up?
A good wife and mother.

It’s a long post about me, and my dream, bear with it. :D

I'm a hopelessly romantic girl. Some other stronger girls maybe will laugh at me, at my need to have someone to lean on. But really, what I want is a wedding, a day marking someone agreed to be with me, bearing all the consequences. Someone I can run to, someone I spend my rest of my life with, someone I can share everything with, someone to build the future with.

The hardcore lover in me always think that wedding is such a grand idea. I praise whoever come up with this. If it was a religion I would be a faithful follower, if it was a lesson you learn in high school I would religiously attend every class and not skipping any of them at all. For me, it’s something so precious sometimes I’m afraid to talk about because I don’t want to jinx it, some other time I will talk about it like there’s no tomorrow because I want to share the happiness. Wedding dresses make me happy, wedding pictures got me smitten, attending a wedding ceremony makes me imagining things. I’m so scary, don’t you think?

You see… I am capable of imagining anything. They said when you meet your soulmate you won’t have hard time seeing yourself in the future with him. I never had any difficulties imagining whoever being with me in the future for goodness sake! Be it Milo Ventimiglia, Jensen Ackles (okay, let’s get more realistic here, lol), or my first crush when I was six, I can imagine myself in a house with them and kids running around.

So my biggest fear is for those dreams to not happen. There, I've said it. What if I never get a chance to marry anyone? What if I can't make anybody loves me? What if nobody wants to spend the rest of his life with me? What if I ended up alone?

Forget it, think happy thoughts instead.

What a happy day for me is a day start with someone by my side, lazy little smile and maybe snuggled up some more just because we can't get enough of each other warmth. A lazy breakfast, to start a slow, steady day, okay... maybe some days will be rushy and crazy but that wouldn't be mattered, we have each other.

I'll cook, yes, I'll make breakfast while he takes his bath, maybe I would join too, in one of the lazy days because sure thing it'll be a long bath with both of us, and that would mean he'll be late for work and his boss would be angry and we wouldn't want that. Wait, on second thought, maybe he should be his own boss, yes? Just like me. So instead of having a boss fuming up because he's late, we can put up a puppy eyes if his customer isn't quite pleased, there I can help him, puppy eyes is my specialty.

The breakfast would be simple, I hope he won't mind. What about a simple toast? And a hot coffee or chocolate? Or tea? in the morning and little talk about the plans of what to do today. Yeah, that sounds about right for me.

And once the hubby is gone to work, I'll have the day to clean the house and do my own business, and preparing lunch (and dinner), go to the grocery store and off to do some shopping. Maybe once in a while, I'll get to catch up with my friends, old friends, new friends, and have some girly (or more likely 'womanly') talk. I know I'll ramble, with dreamy eyes about my hubby. How proud I am of him for how he can handle me in my weird mood -because I can be reaaaaally annoying in my worst mood, and maybe we'll exchange recipes, food, or something else (like some "how to tame a man ~~in bed~~" tricks).

I'll work at home, I'll do what I love to do, just like what hubby does; because that way we'll be happy. A job shouldn't be burdening, right? I want to create something, I still want to open up a little shoppee for my artwork, I imagine myself being in love over and over and over again with this man, and the inspiration gonna be endless, flowing just like a river without winter, never frozen, never dried. If I can dream a little more then I would pray really hard for a little cafery, where people can chill out and just sit for hours.

I'll prepare dinner, I'll wait for him to come back home (or maybe he'll just have to do his job at home -wonder if it'll work, I'll come and distract him every time, though... because I'll miss him, and come to his room and voila! No work is done, lol. Okay, so maybe I need to learn more about self-control).

One of the days, I might be too lazy and will just call him to bring food home, or ask him to cook instead or we'll call a delivery service, or we'll go to our favorite restaurant in town and have a nice dine together OR we'll pay a visit to our parents' houses -we'll surely get some food there, right? lol.

Isn't that simple? My dreams? A whole day filled with love, on repeat, forever, with little surprises everywhere (you see... like 'surprise! you're gonna be a papa!' or 'surprise! RAAWR...' -ha!).

I don't dream of huge mansion with thousand of maids who will bow to me when I pass by them, I don't think I'll need a chauffeur, maybe a maid would help me cleaning up but that is all I need. I'm not gonna whine for huge diamond rings, though I won't mind receiving it.

I love little, simple happiness, like hugging and twirling around the room before heading off to bed, humming to each other songs only us understand (because most of the time it would be off-tune but none of us would be bothered by it). Like a little dance in the kitchen with ear to ear smiles plastered on our faces, because I'll need to learn to cook more, because I love spending times in the kitchen, and because I know, one way or another he would sneakily hug me from behind and distract me and maybe we'll end up with burnt inedible food, it's okay, there are heaps of restaurants out there, right? I won't even ask for thousands of roses, I'll pick a single stalk of sunflower instead. Sure a sunflower field would be great, but some sunflowers at the backyard would be enough.

Rent some DVDs and watch them until we both fall asleep, spontaneous date (or picnic, or anything really), a trip to disneyland or just any funfair, a night long talk of just talk and listen, or a long night with no talk nor listen but something else *wink.

I know there will be fights, little fights (especially because I am me) but then I hope there’s nothing out love can’t conquer (damn, it’s getting a little too cheesy even for me!).

So you see, even if I can't get the maid, the diamond ring, or the little dance, or the sunflower, that would still be more than enough for this little lady (one way or another, I'll get what I want anyway -I'm good at whining and persuading people, alright) only to have someone by her side for her to love, one who loves her endlessly.

Oh, but please please please don't leave the late night snack behind.

little thing to share

2011-02-26T06:26:00.000-08:00

seriously, it's nothing big but it made my night xD

new designs

2011-02-21T06:31:00.000-08:00

Remember I said I've got some new designs in my hand, right? Here are some of them.

dance in the wild

Oh I just love how 'wild' I was when I made this, all those lines and circles and all... I love the random complexity about this picture. Things I love about drawing is the ability to pour my heart content in it, ever so subtly that only I know what is it about. Since I'm in a good mood today, I'll explain, life has been pretty complex and busy and I love it, yes, I love it that I just want to dance in between all the wild hectic days.

Anyway, I've managed to colorized this picture... I won't show it here now, though. But a little spoiler won't hurt ;)

I don't really have much time in hand, but whenever I'm free (like when I have to wait for my friends, or parents, or whoever -I always wait, go figure) my brain would fly to the lala-land and force my hands to draw, here are some sketches I made (on a random paper I found)

(taken via my webcam, thus the poor quality lol)

The first picture was of a figment of my dream about my future house (hopefully). I'd love to have that one spot for me and my dear to talk and chat and enjoy the scenery while having our morning coffee/tea/milk/juice/whatever before starting our days. It was raining in my picture, just to add more warmth ;). I think I'll have a series of this 'future house dream' where I'd draw other parts of the house as well :).

The second? It was random, so random I didn't really know what I was thinking about, lol. It was koi, you know those pretty fish. Yeah... random, right?

So life's been good to me and I love it :)

ps. Some friends told me that they can't comment on the comment box (I'm still trying to figure out why, hopefully it's just some random blogger error, amen). BUT look! I have new stuff! See that? On the sidebar? Yes, chatbox! Haha... Let's just chat away! :D

littletiara shoppe sneak peek

2011-02-18T05:28:00.001-08:00

Ah! Finally some news about my this little lady little shoppe! So, I’ve been going back and forth the printing shop lately, comparing prices and trying to find the one with best quality (and best price, haha!). The good news? FOUND! Mission complete, though I know I’ll do more research later because I want to know more, haha…

So here’s a little sneak peek of what I’ll sell. Some of the design you may have familiar with :) well, I do have some new designs I have yet to show to the world, which makes me giddy, haha! (these pictures are unofficial, taken by me in my room. Official photos will be taken next week, by my photographer friend, ronezt, who is now having fun watching iron maiden in Bali. (oh how I envy him!))

pretty sure you’ve seen this picture long before this, right? Well, if you’re new here, then… hello! This ballerina is one of my favorite, I love the color blue and yellow altogether :)

I made a little notebook out of this design

I love the thoughts that whoever write things inside can also enjoy my artwork when they sees the cover :)

this little notebook contains of 40 plain pages, coming in two different colors that matches the cover :)

Aah... so I’ve taken the first step, putting it in one handmade shop. Next, littletiara shoppe (online) will be opened soon, I’m having my fingers crossed here, I just need to find how to build a website, I’ve forgotten what I’ve learnt all along, I think. lol!

Oh, and here are some of other designs :)

oh, and in other note, to show you how cool blogsphere is, check out andhari, one of my favorite bloggy friend, the talented-restless little woman who had just made her first MV! This girl is one of the seriously pretty female rappers out there! check her video out! Oh, and I am so much in love with this song, really! I love love love the lyrics!

weird, random things

2011-02-08T08:43:00.001-08:00

Things are coming in weird ways possible lately, like seriously, lol. Let me share you some of ‘em.

I shouldn’t talk too much about this but, I took a test to continue my master. First random thing was that the best friend joined too! In the same university and we took test at a very same day. We met a few times few days before the test (because we had projects together) but none of us told each other that we planned to take master. LOL, Imagine how surprised we were when seeing each other on the spot?
When the result was announced, I wasn’t on the list; the best friend was. Well, I was quite down, mostly because of my parents’ faces when they heard that I didn’t make it. I decided to take the next test they will held on march, I signed up again (online). THEN the second weird thing happened, this morning I received a call from the university telling that I actually made it and I can do the next interview test on the 17th this month (Wish me luck here!). How random was that? o.O
Me and the best friend, remember we had this ‘project recycle’? yep, we joined a competition with it and yesterday he called me telling that we made it to the next round :D sounds good? Wish us luck here too! :D but that wasn’t the random part, how he knew we were in was because yesterday (feb 6th) he randomly opened their web and found our name, that wasn’t stop there, we were required to make a presentation video and the deadline was feb 7th, now THAT was random. Well… we made it anyway :)

So I guess all we have to do is to keep the faith and do our best, things will come our ways anyway. And sorry that this post isn’t about the littletiara shoppe (credit to nikolett for this, haha!) but I promise you I will talk more about that soon :D

Fill in the blank friday

2011-02-05T06:55:00.001-08:00

picture via weheartit

Well this is Sunday but I’m doing this anyway, for the sake of my blog. I need to get back to my bloggy life and blog regularly again, ahahaha… real life consumes me!

1. If I could only read one magazine publication for the rest of eternity, I would choose I’m not much a fan of a magazine so I’m okay without them, but if I have to admit I love reading cosmopolitan, hehe… (and I wouldn’t mind to get subscripted to it for eternity-for free, right?)

2. If I were to run my own magazine it would be either an artsy pantsy magazine with random artwork from all over the world or a children magazine, haha! What do you call it? Kiddo magazine? :P

3. I buy my magazines (at the grocery check stand or via subscription) I borrow them from my friends, hahaha! xD they’re the addicted, I am not. lol.

4. I prefer my magazines (in print or online) online because they’re free, man! Look how petty I am! Haha!

5. The number of magazines I buy each month is (via subscription) … zero. o.O

6. My favorite magazine genre is (lifestyle, gossip, home, etc...) I love reading about anything, I love figuring new things out; but architectural magazine is the one I spend my time the most, I guess :)

7. The magazines I read regularly are hmm… none?

figures, these questions and me are just not meant to be, haha… anyway, aren’t you happy seeing me here? I’m back, I’m back, I’m back. Ah, I really need to ensure myself that I am. I over-engaged myself with people so… oh well, I love it anyway, it’s just that 24 hours doesn’t seem quite enough to me anymore.

And… dun dun dun, I’m steps closer to my littletiara shop, I think. I really need to stop thinking and just do things already! Hehe… I learnt it the (kinda) hard way, and thankful for it :) wish me luck so good thing will fill the next post!

Ciao for now!

I have a special friend

2011-02-02T03:32:00.001-08:00

Well I think I’m going to ramble again.

Like other normal human being, I have friends, gotta say heaps of ‘em. I don’t really classify my friends, I don’t think one should. I pour my heart’s content to the same one I go and play all day long, the same one I share my nights with accompanied by some bottles of vodka and beer.

As time approaching, though, there might be spaces between me and a friend, and another friend. I mean, we all have our own lives, right? And no, I’m not complaining at all. I am glad that I managed to solve the problem I had with one of my high school buddy, as glad as to realize that I am in a good relationship with my ex.

Anyway, I have this special friend. Not in that kind of “special” like what I felt for Le Ex (previously Le Boy). This one is special because I can talk just about anything with him (yes yes he’s a guy). Just before you suspect something going on between me and him, yes, something is going on, and that is called respect.

He would be marrying his girlfriend anytime soon so no romantic whatsoever going on here, okay?

I knew him from a friend, and honestly we’re not even that close. I don’t really remember what brought us closer like now. I like how we can chat just anytime. I’m a thinker, over-thinker you may say, and I have so much in mind lately, and I am thankful that he’s there to hear me rant (just like you all here :D).

He might or might not read this, I don’t know. But if he does, I want to tell him that I’m really grateful for his accompany.

I’m glad that he can actually reminds me that yes, I have the potential and yes, I can do whatever I want. I might as well rule the world. I am glad to know that finally someone doesn’t say I am childish (most probably because he’s the one matured), and I am glad that someone tells me that I am a woman, not a girl.

Honestly, talking to him through chat has been being a habit, or addiction. He is honest and true to his word. At times I got scared if I wouldn’t be able to solve my own problem without his word ensuring me, but well… what he had been saying until now is enough to fill my memory and ensure me that I can.

Maybe the timing is right, just when I need someone to talk to I have him, which make days less stressful and this little woman a little bit more confident of her future.

Ah, one of my favorite word of his about me: Fun Fearless Female.

Thank YOU!

ps. Told you, I totally ramble off here. lololol.

And by this post, doesn’t mean my friends are less special and I am not grateful of them, take it as I’m featuring this new special friend. I don’t think my friends would take it that way, though, because they know me and love me to bits. Right? LOL.

I did it my way, will always do it my way.

2011-01-28T06:27:00.001-08:00

I’M HERE! *waves*

Okay, I know I know, I seem to be disappear for too long for my own good, and no, I don’t have a good explanation about it, well… maybe I do, some projects were done, and some changes we made, and yeah, some stuffs were learned.

I got my first salary, enjoyed life, got a new haircut, bought the prettiest coat with my own money, partied hard, got broke (because I had too much fun) but no, I don’t regret it. I finally did what I always wanted to do; buy both high heels and converse shoes. Yep! DONE!

I pretty much had the time of my life, I mean, it’s like I’m on the big gates with big bold letters “WELCOME TO THE REAL LIFE” written on it.

It took me almost half a year (well, okay, four months) to realize that I am indeed in front of that huge gates. I spent my time, from my graduation to the end of 2010, both awed and chickened out by the fact that right now, whatever I do, whichever path I chose, is mine.

So, after the long breaks I had from the blogsphere, have I found and make up my mind to which path I’m going to choose?

The answer is both yes and no. Yeah, cliché.

I can never know whatever the future has in store for me, but as of now, I think I’m going to pick the brightest, with pink and rainbows and frills and candies path. This might be a wrong path, maybe somewhere along this way there will be the highest hill I’ve ever seen, that I would have to climb or biggest river I must swim through, or whatever, but yes, I’m choosing my way, the one I like.

Kaleidoscope Heart

2010-12-29T19:16:00.001-08:00

I can hardly believe it’s 30th of December already. How fast time flies really, just how… fast? It’s scary, really scary thinking about it. What if the moment I wake up tomorrow I’m already 27 year old? I mean, time surely feels fly that fast.

Okay, so instead of dwelling on how fast it flies, I’ll just embrace it, and do things I can do like we all have to do, right? Now… time for little flashback…

I started 2010 with… let’s see… Here are the highlights.

January 2010 - confessing my love to the best friend

A really good friend, a brother, a ~~partner in crime~~ business partner :) I’m glad I did. I’m glad to let him know what I feel, I’m glad I was brave enough to do that, one big leap, really. I never thought I would but hey, I did!

February 2010 - fell in love with another guy

Remember I spent times in the village? I found a new object of my affection there, one day I realized, I’ve moved on; I’ve fallen for this guy. Our mutual friends found this blog and my writing, it forced me to tell him how I felt. We spent some good time, not last that long, though. Another guy came and stole my heart.

March 2010 – One of the most wonderful birthday, ever! :D

Spent it with my closest friends, partying all night (yeah, I didn’t post any picture here… I forgot to bring the cam). Got lots, heaps and heaps of presents. Yayness!

April 2010 - fell for (yet) another guy

A high school friend suddenly came to my life, made me fall for him in no time :) and it’s quite sad to say I left the guy I fell for in February just like that. Maybe because he took too long to do anything, idk.

May 2010 – became lovers, officially

What to explain here? I fell so hard, so so so hard. Spent my night sleepless finishing my thesis but that’s okay because I had Le Boy. Days were filled with so much texting, hehe :)

June 2010 – Encountered some problems with old friends

I annoyed my friend, she proclaimed it to me. I was so down and sad and broke and all. Le Boy was around but I ruined his birthday with my old-sad-face. I still feel guilty thinking about it now but well… that was long time ago.

August 2010 – Graduated

along with that, I fought multiple times with Le Boy. Had little breakup, got back together, talked things out. Oh, and I talked to my friend (the one I annoyed on June) and we got back normal again :)

September 2010 – We broke up, for real

Just when our friends found out that we were together, we actually separated. That was actually awkward.

October 2010 – Worked hard for a little cafe

I spent the whole month looking for an ideal place, it took me the whole month.

November 2010 – Opened the little cafe

After long, I finally opened the cafe. Say, this was one long stressful month. Like seriously, I couldn’t really get a god sleep. My brain couldn’t stop thinking. There was this really heavy pressure I felt I didn’t know why. It shouldn’t be there but it was.

December 2010 – Closed the cafe

Yeah, It was opened on 21st November and closed on… I don’t know, I don’t want to care. In all honesty, there was a weird sensation I felt, like the burden had finally gone, lifted away. I was sad it was closed but then maybe that was for the best.

Ah… 2010, I’ve done so much, I’ve learnt so much, thank you for all the bitter and the sweet, the lesson and the pain. 2011, what you’ve got? I’ll take it all. Bring it on!! Well, okay… 2011, welcome :)

edit:

nikolett reminded me that I missed July, hahaha! My gosh, how could I do that? Okay, so...

July 2010 - I finished my thesis and passed the final exam.

Nothing much really happened, though. Hehehe... maybe that's why I forgot to type it down. :P

ohai ups and downs!

2010-12-20T07:29:00.001-08:00

Oh right! I’m here! With news, some important news! And thoughts, and I don’t know what else, lol.

So… on with the news?

1. The little cafe had opened, and closed.

Now, how crazy does that sound? It was opened for about two weeks and then closed forever just like that. It’s hard to explain why without pointing finger at someone else so I don’t think I wanna do that.

I was happy with it, but I felt something was off. You wouldn’t want to know how many times I cried myself out alone in the dark because I don’t want people to know how depressing it was. I didn’t even understand what was so depressing about it.

Once, days got too hard to bear and I couldn’t let anyone know, I couldn’t let my parents know I was unhappy, I couldn’t let my partners know, so I asked Le Boy to come and hug me because only in front of him I could act like myself. I put off all my strong facade and just melt there in silence. Thank goodness he let me.

Well, now that the little cafe had closed just when people start to notice it and ask me about it, I felt a little heartbroken. The hardest part would be explaining to people why was it closed, all those questioning eyes, and the disdain they hold… I know it will disappear in time, though.

All in all, I don’t really regret this, I know it’s for the best.

2. Me and Le Boy? Weird stuff.

Remember this long love letter I wrote? It was supposed to be given to him on his birthday but well, things happened and I didn’t get the chance to. I gave it to him last week anyway. I’m not sure if he understands it wholly, though. Haha… at least he understand the “I love you” parts, right?

We’re still in this weird relationship, I think. At least for me it’s weird.

We did went out once in a while, the last time was when I got the news that the little cafe was closed for real, I asked him to accompany me to timezone. We did have fun, lots of them :) good time.

Man, I’ve been telling myself so many times to just stop stop. I mean, remember what happened to me and the best friend? I spent my.. how many years? Two? Three? to love him? And it all ended when I finally confessed to him all my feelings. Now, what am I to do with this feeling to Le Boy? Why am I so hard-headed? I mean… sigh, just stop already and look for someone new, tiara! lol.

Things are always easier said than done, right?

3. Projects with the best friend.

Business partners is what we are! I am so glad with it! I mean, when I don’t know what to do, he reminds me that I still have him around and we still have projects to do! Projects recycling is on the way, and business plans are made :D seriously, this is fun.

This newest competitions we’re joining have a very fun prize. Other than money, it’s a 4 days trip to either London, Japan or Singapore :) you see how tempting that is? Hahaha… I kinda hope for Japan and crossing my fingers to visit Japan Disneyland (because they said the hello kitty balloons are cuter there).

4. Tangled!

cute artwork! I’m pretty much in love with it!

I know it’s kinda late but I will watch Tangled 3D tomorrow! Man, I’m such a sucker for disney’s fairytales. I mean, they’re sucky and cheesy and I just can guess how it would end “and they live happily ever after” right? But still… I am SO curious about this Rapunzel movie. I didn’t even got hyped about Princess and the Frog.

Maybe because it’s hard to find a partner to accompany me watch this movie? Everyone thinks it’s childish, it’s Disney’s and it’s a Fairytale remake. Even Le Boy rejected me (yeah, heartbroken here *kicks Le Boy*) but I’ve got myself a friend! Yayness! We’ve been planning to hangout since forever but both are too busy with our own lives.

This is one great excuse,haha!

5. The Ring has arrived!!!

Remember this pretty ring?

Remember that I told you someone sent it to me? Remember I promised you I would tell you once the ring arrive?

Do you know it took almost 4 months for this ring to land here save and sound at last? This crazy ring had made me and Kym nervous for the whole time, lol. Oh wait, Kym? Yes, you read it right, Kym from Herrohachi was the one who sent me this!

Do you believe in Karma? I do. Guess what? She sent me this ring, she got her own ring from her boyfriend (now is fiancé, congrats Kym!) and I couldn’t be any happier! I mean, I LOVE weddings! Hahaha…

Maybe I should send out some rings too? So someone would eventually propose? Hahaha… Okay, I’m starting to get delusional. ;P

Thank you Kym! I really couldn’t thank you enough!

So, 2010 had definitely been the craziest rollercoaster ride. I learnt so much, I experienced so much, I want to explore so much more! :) I am not afraid, you hear what they say?

Young and restless.

2010-12-03T21:22:00.000-08:00

Ah! I hate the fact that I got a little bit too busy and everyone else in the blogsphere are too! I mean... the bloggy world seems to be a little silent lately (or is it just me not checking up?)

So, what's the news?

1. The little cafe/place to eat (I still can't find a suitable word to define this, lol) had opened! I will make a special post about it later, with all the details, promise! :D

2. I recently was involved in an accident, little one, thankfully. I am okay, I think, only few scratches which would not be lovely to post here :P all in all, no worries, I am fine.

Thing is, after I got into this accident, few hours later Le Boy was too. Things are a little bit worse on him, and now I'm hoping he's alright :( I haven't contacted him again but maybe I should soon and pay him a visit bringing cream soup and his favorite ice cream, maybe. Heheh.

3. Hmmm... what else to write here? I need to apologize for not being around. All the works consume me and my time :( as fun as it is, I still miss hanging out with my friends doing nothing, only gosipping and all...but everyone grows up and everything changes, I guess. :)

4. How do you like the new layout? It's FAR simpler than the simplest last one. lol.

projects projects!

2010-11-15T19:13:00.001-08:00

Oh my dear! Here I am for real! Haha… Okay, I know I’ve been missing in action for like.. I don’t know… I just couldn’t find time to update until today :) what? You want to know where was I? Okay, I’ve been doing some projects with my friends and cousins. Here are some of the major project I did/been doing:

1. Project JUNKtion.
status: done (for now, maybe continued later)
partner: The Best Friend

There was a business competition and the Best Friend asked me to be his partner in this, what we had to do is to make a business proposal, so the project is all about junks and garbage, we collect and recycle them, make a place for those junks and people to learn more about them. That’s the idea.

We didn’t win the competition, though, so the project stopped (lol) but later if there’s another business proposal competition, we’ll join in again, haha! I had fun doing this project, really. We visited the landfills (which, as expected, is SO smelly) and for once, I saw those junks and garbage as hills and hills of money, haha! ($.$)

2. Project handmade
status: ongoing
partner: me, myself and I

My favorite project so far, although I’ve yet to make money from it, hahaha :P. So few weeks ago I found this fabric marker and my brain instantly worked on “OHISHOULDMAKESOMETHINGOUTOFIT!” Haha… so here goes… my little creation (which maybe I’ll sell later? Who knows? :P)

So I learnt to sew, and draw on fabric (harder than I thought, but fun!) and ta-daah! Here' goes little plushies I made! :D

My favorite I don’t know why, haha… it looks like a painting little plushie

This little red heart makes me run out of the red ink, lol. I should’ve thought about it earlier, lol. But I love it anyway :)

I tried to make a plushie of my friend, lol. Not bad, I guess… hoho…

it’s… uhm… something, I’m not really sure what, hahaha… so random!

3. Project writing
Status: ongoing
Partner: A college friend

From a chat once upon a time, we came up with an idea to write stories together. We are two very different people, and we thought it would be really fun to write about something from our perspectives.

unluckily, this project is in Indonesian so most of you couldn’t enjoy it (yet), but maybe later we’ll make the english version of it, who knows? ;)

We’ve agreed to make a themed stories every couple of days, and just by seeing our writing we could see just how different our way of thinking and perspectives are :) FUN FUN FUN!

4. Project ‘a place to eat’

Status: ongoing

Partner: My cousins, Le Boy

Remember I wanted to make a little cakery? Or cafe? Okay, so I think I’m steps closer to make them, I started off with little place to eat and hang out. We (me and my cousins) rented a place and now is in our way to open it soon! :D

look what I’ve made! it’s kinda big, non?

and Le Boy is helping by being the architectural consultant here, hohoho... (nice excuse for us to meet, no? :P)

Me, being so focused drawing, Ohohoho… the artist is on the run! So I hand-painted all the details, in this room! :D I am kinda proud of it!

and here is the completed tree in one of the side of the room! :D

What do you think? What do you think? What do you think?

Ahh… I’m so excited with all these projects going on, I know people been telling me to focus on only one but I think it’s just this much Le Boy affected me, I couldn’t stop finding things to do and I still feel like I haven’t done much! WOW. Haha… I feel like trying to do everything!

So wish me luck with all these projects! :D Oh the future is today!

#prayforindonesia

2010-11-05T07:41:00.001-07:00

For you who follows me on twitter, I’ve been twitting and re-tweeting lots of stuffs in Indonesian. I hope it doesn’t annoy you.I’ve been talking and sharing/spreading information about Mt. Merapi, world’s most active volcano 40km from my house that had been erupting since October 26th.

It had been said that the eruption this year is the biggest during the last 100 years so I hope nothing bad will happen. I felt almost all the way to selfish when I read my previous post in this blog worrying about myself when hundreds people out there, in the same city don’t even know if where they can sleep tonight.

Mount Merapi is all the way in north Yogyakarta, and my house is in the south side, and for once I am thankful for it. Right now, my cousins are coming to my house because their boarding houses are pretty near (about 20 kms) from the volcano.

I am both sad and proud. It’s never a pleasuring sight to know a disaster, but it makes me proud to see that so many people, my friends, people I know, Yogyakarta’s citizen are all together trying to help each other, being volunteers, donating money, etc. I know I can’t do much but I even the littlest thing counts.

bad mood go away! Shoo shoo!

2010-11-01T19:09:00.001-07:00

I really don’t like it when I’m feeling pessimistic, and lately, that’s what’s happening to me. I think and think and think and at one point, I can’t help but feeling afraid.

What if the business I’m going to do isn’t succeeded? What if it meets lots of obstacles I can’t handle? What if people don’t like it? What if I can’t find another boy and stuck on Le Boy? What if it takes me too long to get over him and I’ll be too late and every single boy is taken and I got none?

For those in happier mood, this post must be ridiculous, I know.

Blame the whole day out, spending time in the city completing the preparation for the business; getting back home very late at night on my scooter and the rain fell so suddenly I got home all drenched.

Ah… I hope this bad mood can go far far far away all the soonest! I do enjoy all the business talk, but I do miss hanging out with my friends chatting and just gossiping.

and of course, I miss spending time with Le Boy. Well I do, as we are now business partners, but the whole thing feels different. We’re good and everything’s okay between us, I just hate the fact that sometimes I still act stupid in front of him like I used to and he will laugh at me and that… feels quite nostalgic, except that maybe he now thinks I am really stupid instead of cute and funny.

ps. Yes, I am now business partners with both Le Boy and The Best Friend, how cool that is? Lol. I just can't let them go far from me, huh? And hopefully, vice versa :P

pps. On a quite different note, Abby is holding her first giveaway! She's giving away very irresistible Givenchy, no worries! This giveaway is open world wide! :D Now, if I win this, I'm sure the bad mood will go instantly, lol :P

Here are the rules (Copy-pasted from Abby's blog):

1. Follow her blog
2. Post about this giveaway
3. Leave a comment in her giveaway post with your link and email address

Easy peasy, no? ;)

Notice something different?

2010-10-21T18:10:00.001-07:00

I am sure you all do, well… except if this is your first visit here ;) if so, welcome!

I’ve been wanting to change my layout to three rows one because well… this way I can put up more links and advertisement in the future (maybe). So today I made it, yayness!

Anyway, life has been busy and I love it :) I’m starting to working on my business, which is still a secret for you all here now just because I don’t wanna jinx it, haha… I promise after everything is settled, I’ll tell you all! (like of course since I’m so much of a show off person lol)

Been meeting lots of new and old friends, talking to many people and do funs tuff, well… okay, some of them aren’t so fun but heck… I’ve learnt from one guy that sometimes you win, sometimes you… learn.

Isn’t the thought lovely? We never lose, never ever :D

Remember the old friend? Yeah yeah… the one I fell for long time ago? The one I confessed my love to early this year? Mm hmm… We’re having a project together now, I hope this will turns out well. Nothing romantic included, though.

He’s like a bigger brother already for me, hahaha… this is cute how we can still get so close. I think he’s pretty much matured, especially compared to Le Boy (in which I gotta say doesn’t realize that he’s still childish). Anyway, who am I to judge.

And… I know this new layout still look pretty messy but I’ve got some few things to be done today so I gotta go now, promise I’ll fix it soon. So if you have any suggestion, just poke me in the comment box and tell me which one is not pleasing in your eyes alright? :)

Oh, and one more thing! If you’re an entrepreneur, has your own business, if you don’t mind, do tell me some tips and tricks because that’s what I’m doing right now, and because I’m still beginner… I’d love to learn more, please? :D

Wish me luck today, big things are coming my way, I hope I can catch them! :D

Just do it.

2010-10-20T00:31:00.001-07:00

Wait, wait till you know you’re sure
and you will wait too long, he will be gone

get dirty, get fucking filthy, get poor, get off your ass, get desperate, get dangerous, get ville, get romantic, get fucked, get moving, get productive, get proactive, get your own life, get doing something, ANYTHING.

Because before you know it, you're 40 with kids, a mortgage and responsibilities that cause your fun to come second.

So before cancer, before children, before 50 hours work weeks, before back and knee problems, before school loans, before you lose your sense of humor...

FIGHT

Fight and fuck and run and smile

Smile because the older you get, the less you will

So yes, quit being such a goddamn pussy, because bitching and whining and worry never make anything better.

I love this quote I found via tumblr, I made it my desktop wallpaper just so I remember to just do things I wanna do, take the risk, take the chance.

I’ve figured that when you want to do something, just do it, as long as you’re not hurting other, do it, do everything you want to do.

Maybe you’ll regret some of it, but if you never try, you’ll never know. Maybe things will go wrong, but everything will be okay in the end. And most importantly, maybe it’ll take you to somewhere you really belong.

I’m talking about life, which I’ve figured isn’t always about love. It’s about social life, taking risk and challenge, consequences, failing and standing up again, breaking and putting things together again, moving on and be brave.

So like NIKE always says: JUST DO IT!

Well… okay…

2010-10-18T17:13:00.001-07:00

Haha, I know I was like away (again) for … three days? So the 7th challenge was about my dream wedding, on the 7th day I was not in the mood of talking about wedding at all, so I thought I should just skip it, BUT skipping a day would mean skipping the next day and the next next day for me. So here I am, trying to get back to the track again, hahaha…

My dream wedding is a grand one.

I want everyone to wear white while me and the groom wear, well… something else.. Haha… everything would be white, from the decoration to the flowers and… all. haha…

My dream wedding would have you all in it, I hope this one can really do come true :D because that would mean I and the groom are financially stable to be able to invite you guys :)

I want everyone to be there in my wedding, not because I want to show off, but I want to share the happiness ;) I’d love to have a full gamelan set (traditional musical instrument) to be played during my wedding, I’m still curious if they can play canon with gamelan, haha…

My dream wedding is the grand, mixed of traditional and my artwork one. Because I love our culture too much with all its sacred rituals and I want to let you all know how pretty it is :D and just because I am so proud of my own artwork ;P

isn’t all the details lovely?

Is it the 5th day or the 6th?

2010-10-15T02:18:00.001-07:00

LOL. SO I am losing track of time, haha… I’ll do both in one post then… hahaha…

The 5th challenge is to post a picture of myself 2 years ago, so here it comes…

this is me two years ago…

this is me now…

I don’t think I grow up THAT much… hmm… I even think I de-grow, lol xD

Alright, the 6th day challenge is PHOTO OF AN ANIMAL YOU WANT TO KEEP AS A PET

Easy peasy, of course it’s a PANDA!!! :P

DAY 4 - Your Fave Photo of Your Best Friend

2010-10-13T17:16:00.001-07:00

Am I cheating by posting too many pictures? Ah, who cares, they’re all my best friends… there are even some I haven’t showed here yet…

DAY 3 - Your Idea of the Perfect First Date

2010-10-12T09:44:00.001-07:00

Seriously, though. The romantic in me have no idea about it, it can be because
1.) I’m still trying to mend my broken heart (no, really no, I’m not that heartbroken anymore)
2.) I have no idea.
3.) I have too much ideas in my mind, haha!

Fat chance is option number three. Anyway, no matter how the first date went, it’s the person I am with that are important.

I’m sure I’ll enjoy just a walk on a park as much as I’ll enjoy crazy rollercoaster ride or romantic candle light dinner (which maybe will be too much for a first date, lol).

If I am to make up my mind and choose one perfect date… let’s see…

I think I’ll scare you off but I really think I am that one girl who loves to show off, it would be nice if my date sing me a song in the middle of the crowd, is that too dramatic? I mean… well, Le Boy never sang me a song in public, he did it privately, which didn’t make it less romantic ;)

I think I’ll enjoy the deep red blushing time I’d have once someone give me that kind of surprise, haha… with friends teasing al around, or better, people I don’t know smiling and congratulate me because they just witnessed how loved I am.

What about you?

DAY 2 - Photo of Something You Ate Today

2010-10-11T04:59:00.001-07:00

Today was HOT, like always. So the minute I arrived at my campus cafeteria (what? I know I’ve graduated, but I still do hanging out in my campus ~~once in a while~~ everyday) I instantly went to ne of the stalls and ordered this heavenly watermelon juice (photo was not taken by me, found via google, hehe)

Are you having a hot day too there? Doesn’t this look so yummy? I always love watermelon anyways, and when I found that someone made a juice of it, mm hmm… can never resist it ;)

Watermelon is useful for those with high blood pressure, too! Too bad, I’m a low BP one, which makes it quite dilemmatic for me. Shouldn’t drink it too often, they say.

On a quite different note, I think I’ve kind of moved on. Me and Le boy are still in a good relationship, we’re still friends, not as close as before but I think we’re doing things pretty good. Sometimes there are those awkward moments, though, which I don’t really like.

Can’t deny that sometimes I do miss spending times with him, and well… yes, I still do have feelings for him, this is my weakness, lol. I am hard to fall in love, even harder to fall out of love, thank goodness he stays to make sure I’m doing fine :)

Our breakup wasn’t the harsh one, we talked and decided. At that time, we had problems and the day after I had plan to go out of the city for a job, we both thought that would be unhealthy if we kept the problem while I am away for a time unknown, so we decided to part ways.

The cutest thing, though. We both had thought about breaking up, so both of us, unknown to each other, had prepared small gifts to give that day. I mean, well… I am thankful that we were not like the couples who throw things at each other on their breakup day, we exchange gifts instead, lol.

That night, he kept telling me not to feel too sad. Of course I was sad and shed buckets of tears, but still it was so nice of him to be there.

So whatever will happen in the future I hope the best to come to us as soon as possible, well I know everything will be okay at the right time :) I hope he’ll find his happiness and I do too, whether or not we’re going back together, I’ll pray for the best for us :)

Ob-la-di ob-la-da life goes on bra
La la how the life goes on

(The Beatles – Obladi Oblada)

DAY 1 - Photo of Yourself & Description of Your Day

2010-10-09T17:29:00.001-07:00

Anyone notice bloger has been quite quiet lately? I mean, it’s not only me who’s slacking, right? Haha… Anyway, I miss this blogsphere since forever, I just don’t know what to talk about and I will probably go on and off the blogsphere again if it continues.

So I decided to follow Kym’s path to blog everyday doing this challenge of 30 days blogging. I am not so good in keeping things like this up but I will try my best, really! *cross fingers* so let’s start!

DAY 1 - Photo of Yourself & Description of Your Day

(well… I can’t find a proper picture of myself, lol)

My day? Well, it’s still early in the morning so nothing much happened (yet), but I have some plans to do in my to-do list, like cooking and baking and hanging out with my highschool friends and going to the stationery shop to find a fabric marker.

Sounds like a great idea, non? I am pretty much mobilized now that my parents bought me a motorcycle I (finally) asked. Say, motorcycle isn’t my favorite vehicle, plus I am lack of balance (lol) but I have to admit that it makes me feel pretty isolated not to have one. Sure there are lots of public transportation and friends to always fetch me, problem is, my house is like so far far away from theirs, they’re okay with it, but I am not, it almost feels like I’m a bother.

In all honesty it was le boy (or le ex now? lol) who made me realize that I need to stop asking people to take me home (because when we’re hanging out, me and him, it’ll be until midnight and there are no public transportation nor he would let me if there’s one) and his house is like miles away from mine, he’s far in the north and mine’s way down in the south, hahaha… opposites attract?

AND I’ve promised myself to never ask my parents to buy me a car because I will buy mine myself. They have been asking if I want a motorcycle since centuries ago but I always answered no, lol. Just because I don’t like it. Hehe…

At last, I found this little scooter-like scoopy, I fell in love and alright, “Mom, dad, I want that one…” hahaha… me asking a motorcycle was a weird thing, so they agreed.

Mine is the classic white one. and I think it matches this blog very well, no? haha…

Alright, see ya later in the 2nd day challenge! ;)

I have tiger as a pet

2010-09-29T07:52:00.001-07:00

Okay, a kitten, but I named him Tiger. True to his name, he’s one crazy wild little mean cat.

Tsk, he’s so cool and handsome and will bite you anytime he wants, he wants lots of attentions too.

He can’t stop jumping, running like the flash, eating, repeat.

He’s the cutest when he sleeps, lol. just can’t help to tease him when he sleeps.

So I found him few months ago in my canteen cafeteria, I found him cute, I brought him home.

Tiger then, when he was just… I don’t know, maybe around 2 months old? This picture was taken the first day he came to my house, all he did was sleeping. Wasn’t he so cute?

Tiger now. The crazy wild cat, hahaha… I love him all the same anyway, if not growing stronger ;) he’s been with me through my ups and downs :)

Look at his all-fangs teeth!!! I’m a victim of his biting! Daily biting! Poor poor me, aren’t I? lol.

Strangers Meeting

2010-09-24T20:28:00.000-07:00

Strangers meeting

Never mind how it will end in the future

As least we were once together

There’s no need to bound each other

And there’s no need for any verbal promises

As long as we once had each other

To me, this is already enough

There are a lot of memories in one’s lifetime

I only wish your memories will have me

Found this song when I was watching a Taiwanese drama series entitled 'Fated to Love You' originally sung in Mandarin (Of course, lol) I don't know who sang it, but I love the meaning.

ps. I start treating my blog like a tumblr, lol.

2010-09-24T08:20:00.001-07:00

of life and train

2010-09-20T19:19:00.001-07:00

Well, hello all, I know I disappeared from the blogsphere for quite a while. Now I'm here, hopefully back for good ;)

“This is your life, are you who you want to be?”
Switchfoot

Life has been up and down, well… just like it always is, and sometimes I shut my eyes tight hoping I could stop time for a moment, of course I failed.

Had a family gathering made me realize how fast time flies, how I am not a primary school student anymore, how I’ve grown up, and everyone else is too.

I remember the old times when days were only of playing either with water, or friends, or better, both. Days when I always slept at 9 o’clock. Where were those days gone? How can time flies so fast I didn’t realize it?

Growing up feels like being on a train that moves too fast, or more likely, in constant speed it feels too fast sometimes. There are pretty views outside I want to spend more time enjoying, but no, the train keep moving, and it will never go back there again.

So the only thing I (or we all…) can do is savor every moment, and maybe take some pictures of the pretty view and keep it safe and sound in once precious box called memories we can dig in to sometime later in the future.

In order to make myself sure I am on the right track, I think I’ll start to make a list of things I want/have to do to be who I want to be, of course I know some things won’t go according to plan, but at least I’ll try to reach out for it instead of just go with the flow. More about this list later ;)

ps. I created a new facebook account (haha!), feel free to add me if you want to. I speak in Indonesian most of the time, though. I always seem to forget about this, pfft... lol

oh 2010...

2010-09-07T21:12:00.000-07:00

Dear 2010,

I know you haven't ended yet but... even only in the 9th month you're already such a crazy roller-coaster. I'll make this post short... I've confessed my feelings to someone I really liked ((loved?). Fell in love (twice). Finished my thesis. Did my final test. Survived. Graduated... and the recent one... Breaking up.

Honestly, I can't wait to see what else you'll bring. New love? Getting back to each other arms all over again? Absence from any romantic events? New business?

Whatever it is, I know it's for the best.

I've yet to be the all smiley girl littletiara was, well that would be abnormal if I do, lol. Say, of course I cried overnight (and day), regretted things I did (and didn't), got all melancholic and confused... but I know I am getting over it sooner or later.

;)

the details may (or may not) come later.

welcome to the… uh… real world? jungle? space?

2010-08-21T19:23:00.001-07:00

My life has been being a crazy rollercoaster ride… I’m all the way from up to down up again and… oh well… this is crazy my stomach starts to churn.

1. I (finally) graduated.
You all (kind of) witnessed how I struggled on making the stressful thesis, those long stressful nights with pile of books and not so much cups of coffee. You congratulated me when I finally finished, and survived the final test, and here I am now, a (legal) literature bachelor.

The graduation day was fab! I love every bits of it! :D my kebaya, my high heels, my make up (I was so DONE, lol, woke up at 4AM to get all ready by 6- CRAZY!), and of course… my FRIENDS! Omg, how precious :D

Some pictures from the graduation day:

In all honesty, I love every little details on my Kebaya... Hahaha...

2. Me and Le Boy?
We’re having one hell rollercoaster ride too, we had a (really short) break (he asked for a break up, I disagreed, I asked for a little break instead), back to each other’s arms, have little fights again, talked things out, got better… oh wow, what a ride we were in.

Now? We’re okay, just okay. We’re yet to get back to our romantic selves, but this is better than before :) I think both of us just realized that despite the old days we spent in the high school, we still have so much more to learn about each other and how we need to adjust to fit in, and I can proudly say he tries his best to do it, and I do too-of course.

Anyway, someone did me a tarot card reading, and he said to me, things will get even harder in the future. That, until he opened the last card, ten of pentacles, and declared to me that actually it will be a happy ending. Hehe… I did little browsing about this card and I think it’s the best out of all, lol.

The 10 of Pentacles is a very happy indicator with regard to love. If you are currently committed, this card can mean that you will move to the next level; living together, engagement, marriage, childbirth, all can be indicated by this card.

3. Jobseeking, or whatever.
Now that I am no longer a university student, I finally knew what people meant with “welcome to the real world”, everything is on me, every decision is by me. I decide what I want to be, and do something about it. I plan out my own future, my own path of how I get what I want, unlike the university days when everything was all planned out.

It feels kind of like hanging around without knowing what will come, what I have to do to survive a day, this is kind of… really scary.

I know I want to start making more artworks and sell them out, but even that need more planning out. I still have to look for a job, to work in a company, I need money to start my own business, I need more friends and links, and honestly saying, all these… are scary, but I hope I can just go through it :).

ps: So here I am helping out my cousin, please do vote for his fiction, although it's in Bahasa and most of you can't understand the story.. (hehe...) just... click the thumbs up picture, pretty pretty please?

Here is the link. clicky click! Thank you! :D

Love at First Sight

2010-08-03T08:52:00.000-07:00

This has got to be one of the prettiest ring I have ever seen, and I just have to post it here because I don't want to forget.

It's really... beautiful.

edit: I found this ring via tumblr. So anyone, if you ever come across to see this ring being sold somewhere, please do tell me how much it is (I hope it isn't an engagement/wedding ring, lol). Because I SO need to have one, methinks.

I've searched on google, haha... and I found nothing. T__T no other wings ring (wings ring? lol) is even close to be as pretty as this one...

edit II: Nikolett found it!!! Now, the problem is that I don't have paypal account or credit card, lmfao. This is gonna be hard, like a long and windy road. Meeep! Here it is.

edit III: soooo... someone (i'm not sure if I can say the name here) emailed me today and asked my address and said that this ring is gonna be mine soon! This is crazy and I am over the cloud nine right now! I don't know such person who only wants to brighten up someone else's day by giving what wanted existed! :D This must be one of the best days in my life!

And you, you know who you are, thank you so much! Like SOOOOOOO MUUUUUCCCHHH *kisskiss*

Why stop dreaming when you wake up?

2010-07-28T20:01:00.001-07:00

this is a long post, with lots of Mojo jojos. If you don’t understand what I mean, read on, lol. I’ve warned you, okay? ;P

So when I was done with all the thesis related stuff next was I have to run (literally) from one campus building to another everyday to get all the graduation-related things done.

Now, it’s all finished! All I have to do is to wait until August 19th when I’d be standing proudly in a graduation ceremony (or maybe sitting quietly, whatever, lol)

YAY!

LITERATURE BACHELOR BIATCH! MWAHAHAHAHA…

I can’t tell which one makes me happier, to finally graduated from a place I’ve been studying (if I really ever do that) for almost 4 years (3 years 9 moths), to prepare myself facing the real world (which until now I still don’t know what), or to get free from any homework and have as many time as I want to spend drawing and cooking and knitting and do all those girly (I love) stuffs.

Yes, I’ve been wanting to cook/bake since forever but I couldn’t find the perfect time when thesis was still around, but now, I can cook/bake anything I want! I think I’m gonna start it off with a chocolate cake, I have strawberries, and some golden raisin, and pineapple jam, and I know I can add extra cheese to top it. I promise I’ll share once I made it ;D (not sure with the recipe, though, I think I’ll just mix ‘em all in a bowl, lol).

--and maybe some little cupcakes later, and puddings, and tarts… and… ohhh… the possibility is endless! Mwahahaha!!!

And to sew/stitch! I know I know, it’s a new hobby, but looking around etsy and blogsphere, I found so many interesting (and say, easy to do) stitched artworks, what I want to make first? It’s this lovely embroidered love note…

next!

For sure, I’d love to spend more times drawing! It’s been forever since the last time I did this fun thing! (Oh wait, I did make some doodles last night, if you can call it an artwork, lol)

And it’s adorable how I put it in weheartit and 5 hours later found 20 people have hearted my artwork, I love that site! I’ll post all my artworks there and people will heart it and I’ll rule the world! Mwahahahaha…

And to read the books I’ve bought when I didn’t even have time to read anything other than someone else’s thesis, all theories-related stuff, Greimas biography, Actantial scheme and such… Now I have the time of my life I can already imagine I read myself to sleep everyday. Yayness!

And you know that book is the window of the world or something? I read a book, I rule the world! Mwahahaha…

Anyway, as I said in the previous post, nikolett gave me a very interesting award. It’s the
You're Going Places, Baby award! Thank you :)

The Rules: Describe where you think you'll be in 10 years and then pass it along to 10 other bloggers!

Fine, it’s one of my biggest dream right now, and I’ve talked about this before, but here’s a little more detailed imagination:

Ten years from now I’d be 31, at that age I’d hopefully be married to someone I dearly love, in a little cute home, with a kid or two, aged and matured but still playful and enjoy the fun side of life, would still be able to smile as much as I do right now because they say the older you get the less you will, and I won’t want my life that way.

I want to have my one little (with branches everywhere?) little cakery.

I know, cakery is not a word, I made it up, lol. But hey! Google and Googling weren’t too once!

Why little? Because I love little things! Have you ever seen so many pretty food you want to taste them all but found yourself would be too full and bloated if you do so? I got that every single time!

So I’d sell little cupcakes, little tarts, little cookies, tea in pretty little glasses, even dishes, all in little plates! everything’s are mini sized, you won’t be too full until you insist to taste them all, and you’ll be craving for more, and littletiara with her little cakery will rule the world! mwahahaahaa...

Okay, enough Mojo jojo-ing.

My paintings/artworks would be displayed everywhere in that little comfy place, you can read (my) books too, and spend as many time as you want with your friends there. (I have this dream to draw a book, remember?).

In my imagination I’d be earning bucks from my artworks and that little cakery, and my book, and… I don’t know, I want to do all the things existed in this world. Is that called greed or curiosity?

Hopefully by then I’d have met at least ten of my bloggy friends and have traveled to at least ten countries (why ten? Because it’s ten years from now, lol).

So now I’m tagging my friends? Let’s see… Sheri, Emily, Kym, Gracie, Dionne, Mariella, Mel, Namine, Elissa, and Rika

Fine, now I’m gonna start ruling the world before the powerpuff girls hear about this newly born Mojo Jojo.

Oh well, here they come… Ciao bella!

(pictures are from weheartit, pinksuedeshoe and google)

minor love story

2010-07-27T07:06:00.001-07:00

Years ago, when I was a young high school girl there was a minor love story I had…

It all started with a desk, and a piece of paper…

It was exam time, we switched classes. Someone sat in my seat, when I came back in the evening I found a poem, a really pretty poem of a heart that was breaking. I didn’t know who wrote that, but the words captured my heart, so I wrote a poem on the same paper and left it there.

The next day under my poem was another poem, a new one, I replied again, and found another poem the day after, it continued everyday during exam week.

On the last day of exam, I figured who wrote those letters, he figured who was the owner of that seat. We exchanged glances, smiled to each other and said nothing.

That was pretty much the ending of the story, we never talked to each other. Whenever we met, we smiled to each other. A silent salutation in a smile, a smile that said “how are you” and “I’m fine thank you”, a smile with silent “have a nice day” in it.

Years later, I found him on friendster (yeah, not facebook yet) and he left a comment (or testimonial?) saying… Ah, here it is, the desk owner. The one who exchanged poems with me :)

It could’ve been a pretty romantic love story. He was one of the most romantic guy I’ve ever met, his words are of poets, everything rhymed, everything beautiful, strong and captivating, swooning. But no, we stopped there, nothing more happened and I’m pretty much contented with it.

Although some nights I’d love to imagine how would it be like to have such romantic boyfriend.

Does that consider cheating? :P

Anyway, nikolett gave me a very interesting award, gotta post something about it soon.

So I Lied

2010-07-20T02:41:00.000-07:00

The work is not over yet.

Worse, I have so many things to be done at such a short time.

Wait...

No, that's not worse, it's just the same. lol.

lovely lovely day

2010-07-16T20:44:00.000-07:00

I did it! I finished it! And I came out alive and well! *YAY!*

What should I write here? I don't even know... lol, I've survived the final test and although there are still several things to be done (like editing all my mistakes and face those killer professors all over again) I am announced FREE!

I don't even care that the professors said my work could've been better, I have so much more important things to do once I'm freed from that obligation! One of it is to have fun and create artworks everyday! and hang out with Le Boy every now and then, and goes online as many times as I want and sha-la-la... I don't know what else but everything seems brighter and better now, haha! :P

No more thesis blocking my way to do what I want to do!

The graduation will be held in August, and I can't wait to wear the Kebaya my mother had specially ordered for me, it's dark purple and I am so much in love with the fabric once I saw it, it's not done yet but once it is, I will show it off to you guys, haha...

Anyway, I don't remember much of what happened in 'THE room' (lol), all I know is that when I stepped out of the room, I found so many of my friends sitting and said, "there she is! OMG! She survived!" (lol!), they said I spent an hour and a half with the profs and honestly, inside, it didn't feel that long, I wasn't actually nervous although there are some questions I didn't know how to answer, I pretty much enjoyed the ride, hehe...

To find my friends outside was such a nice surprise, and it gave me a really nice warm feeling :)

anyway, I spent the rest of the day (after busied myself with some academical stuffs and running around from one uni building to another) with Le Boy, of course! A very nice way to celebrate indeed! :D

and that was just how I realized we're really weird and unlike any other couple, we bicker and mock each other and look at other guys and girls and talk about ex-s and complaining about how boring each other is and such and we got along pretty much well still.

weird couple indeed.

But I think every couple has their uniqueness, it's just that my relationship seems to be too close to the edge of weirdness, lol. I love him so very much still :)
The night ended with a silly conversation

Him (as an architect): Look! There's a new project going on there! You should ask the landlord about it!
Me: About what?
Him: You know, how wide is the land, who is the owner, have they got the permission, how long will it take to build blah blah blah... (I can't remember whatever else he was talking about)
Me: and what will I get if I do that?
Him: *thinking* hmm.... a very very nice sweet loving kiss from me
Me: Mmm... I think I can get many of it without even doing so...
Him: Shoot! You know me all too well! :O

lol

another talk... (took place a few meter after that architectural talk) he realized that I never really say 'yes' when he offers something to give to me, honestly it's not because I don't like it or something, I just don't think it's that important. OR because what he offers is something like "can I just drop you off here?" when we were in the middle of nowhere -- this case happens more often, duh!

Him: why do you seem to say 'no' to everything? Don't tell me you will say no too to get married with me, or have family with me, or when I ask for little children...

God, thank you for giving me the most incredible boyfriend, really, Thank YOU.

Baby I love you

I never want to let you go
the more I think about
the more I want to let you know
that everything you do
is super duper cute
and I can't stand it...

(never shout never - can't stand it)

This Friday

2010-07-13T06:59:00.000-07:00

It will all end this Friday, it's the time when I'm gonna do the final presentation for my thesis. I'm not sure if I'm ready enough for this upcoming event, but heck, ready or not, I have to be! So please dear readers, wish me luck! This is the last step before I can finally jump and say, "YEAH!".

lol.

And to add the nervousness (which is actually needless, because I'm prety much having cold sweats everyday now after it was announced Friday to be THE day), those professors who are going to test me are the most killer ones. means the meanest, the scariest, the eldest, the... I should stop here, before I faint here, lololol.

So here I am now, hoping and praying for everything to be okay, especially for myself. I need to remind myself to keep breathing, lol. Man! This is so tense! D:

ps. I'm sorry if you can't find me around the blogsphere these days, I'm busy taking care of myself, but I promise once it's all over, I'll get back to you babies! ;D

Yay!

2010-07-06T06:22:00.001-07:00

Yayness!

1. I’ve finished my thesis :) I’ve turned it in to my department so all I have to do now is praying while waiting for my department to call me and tell me when will I have to do the presentation, which is the last step of my path! After done with that I’ll be free!

2. Me and my friends went swimming yesterday :D and that was such an opportunity to test my newest lomo camera! So we had fun snap snap shoot underwater, and the result? Oh, they’re perfectly fine for me :D I’m so satisfied with the result!

here are some of them:

Looks like so much fun? It definitely is! :D

3. Le boy is still away, and I still miss him just the same, and love him even more each day.

Nice, I close this post very much cheesily (<--- that, is NOT even a word)! hahaha ;P

ps. I don't know what's happening, I got notifications that you commented and I got the comment via email, but they don't appear here :| but I really appreciate all your comments! Keep 'em coming! :D

Of love, thesis, and water

2010-07-01T21:50:00.001-07:00

I know you all might be bored already reading this blog according to what I write is only about: 1. My thesis, which seem to be never ending, and 2. Le Boy, which usually is overly cheesy. And surprise surprise, in this post I’ll talk about them again, booyah!

Wait, first of all, I’d love to talk about something else, I ordered this camera two days ago and now am waiting for the package to come, I hope it’s coming all the soonest because 1. I can’t wait to use it, and 2. This is the first time I ordered thing online, I hope everything will be well.

Oh, what camera you ask? Here it is! LOMO AQUA PIX.

Look at those colorful cuties!

Imagine how fun it is to have such cute camera, that can shoot pictures underwater, without the need of battery, and at such a very low low prize (it’s only around $15-$20) it’s an all in one for me, of course I can’t resist it :D

Guess what color I ordered? Oh, me being the girly me, I choose the special edition one, it’s white :D

I know you all envy me, ha-ha! Now… let’s pray for the package to come the soonest. I can’t wait! I can’t wait!

On a different note, anyone notice how messy and unstructured this post is? I think I’m losing my writing ability, been writing too much (for thesis, of course) and I’m all too tired to write even more, yes, there are more to write before I can proudly say: Yay I’m finished!

So I’ve finished the main part, but there are still more… like resume, and abstract, and things like those… that has to be done in French (oh my holy!) Which I need to finish this week, or, more accurately, today. So I can submit it in next Monday to be presented, in my final, final-est final (I know, that’s not even a word) before 10th this month.

While today is the very day Le Boy went to Singapore, for a business vacation (yes, both of them, I believe he can’t live doing nothing and just enjoy his vacation, he’s one hyperactive little boy anyway). Problem is, neither me nor him know when will he be back here.

Kinda annoying to realize that at times like this when I need his support the most he has to go far away (and it’s for vacation! Gee! Can’t he wait a little while?), but then, that makes a weird sensation for me, my goal for now?

I want it once he comes back here, I can tell him, “Congratulations, you now have a bachelor of literature girlfriend.” in which I may add… “She’s kind of free tomorrow, so can you two go swimming tomorrow? Because now she has a very cool camera that can shoot underwater”.

♥

ps. Okay, he went this morning and I miss him already. I think it's good.

edit: IT ARRIVED TODAY! YAY! Hahaha...

What I want to do

2010-06-24T03:26:00.001-07:00

Right now, but I can’t so I’ll have to do these later once I’m finished with the oh-so-dreading thesis.

1. Running through sprinklers.

Or running under the rain, whichever come first. I seriously think I’ll just spend my whole day around water, because it definitely is what I need the most right now. I can take a bath three times a day just to release the stress, but no, it’s not enough.

At all.

I and my friends are planning to go swimming tomorrow, sounds great, I’ll have my own time under the water, just enjoying the silence and embracing the coldness, perfect for me.

2. Shop… Shop, shop shop till drop, or broke.

Perfect escapade, fun things being a girl ;) Once shop I’ll forget whatever problems I had (not having). So shopping is a perfect reward for me, right? I’ve been working hard after all. This thesis is almost killing me, I swear! I can’t even let myself sleep at some nights, grr…

3. Le Boy

It’s annoying how we both are busy at the same time, but it’s even more annoying when he’s busy and I’m not. This is kind of stressing when I’m all stressed up I have nobody to run to, well, of course I can always text him but nah! I don’t want to disturb him, as much as I do miss him.

When it’s all over, both of us are free, so I hope we can have more quality times together. :D which in my mind will involve a lot of balloons, candies, apple pies, kisses and sweet talks. Yes, in the end it'll all be worth it.

On a very different note...

Qui ici parle francais? J'ai besoin de ton aide :(
grammar and spell check, pretty please?
Contact me: tiara_purnomo@yahoo.fr

PS. I think I scare people around by speaking french... o__O

Talking about my thesis…

2010-06-20T23:06:00.001-07:00

No! Don’t runaway just yet! Please? *puppy eyes* I promise I won’t talk about how complicated it is, about the actantial and sequential schemes I have to make and such boring things.

I just feel like I’ve been talking a whole lot about my thesis but never really tell you what it is actually about (well, not that I think any of you would be interested anyway, lol), but today I’ll tell you, my thesis talking about…

Fairytales ;)

Yes, that mushy stories about prince and princess, usually with witches and dragons and other imaginary creatures (like ogre and of course fairies), those stories that started with ‘Once upon a time’ and mostly ended with ‘And the lived happily ever after’.

I’m a loyal believer of happily ever after, I love glowing things, balls, gowns, and of course, tiaras and princesses. So this subject is like too perfect for me, although reading things over and over again makes it feels like making less sense, lol.

So, now I forgot what was I supposed to say because… talking about thesis makes me remember that I gotta go now finish it. Ah, ciao bella!

picture credits to me ;)

Wait, in spirit of daddy's day and fairytales, here I am presenting to you...

credit as tagged

Thank you daddy for spoiling me like a princess, for being jealous at Le boy when he first appeared in our house, for loving me endlessly, for reminding me to finish my thesis the soonest, for letting me wake up really really late just because you know I spent the night sleepless in front of my computer :)

Dear daddy, I love you.

Weird craving

2010-06-15T03:07:00.000-07:00

I know I've been kind of M.I.A lately, well... I'm just out of clever things to say and enjoying the world outside with more sun and rain lately, so I'm still clueless of what I'm going to talk about here in this post but maybe I can just share you some of my uniqueness.

Every now and then, I have weird cravings; one time I want pizza so much, then it'll be cheesecake, mango... and well.. it can be anything, usually food (haha!) and as for right now, I'm craving for...

1. Green Coconut.

looking good and refreshing, agreed? non?

2. Watermelon

Oh for the love of the color red... *drools*

3. Kitten

I have no intention to eat them, of course, I want to have one little kitten, fed it so it make a huge fat lazy cat and so I can call it Chico, or Ipang.

What are you craving for, right now?

a little love letter

2010-06-07T18:22:00.001-07:00

Some may want to kick the hell out of me after reading this because of the probability of me risking their lives with diabetes, I’m just trying to be honest, and when talking about him, I got all too mushy and overly-sweet.

So you’ve been warned people, this will be a long post with heaps of tiny kisses, butterflies, little hugs and ‘i love you’s.

For yesterday’s memories, today’s love, tomorrow’s dreams.

I love you

I don’t know how many times have you asked me the question if I do love you and I gave you a blank unreadable expression in a redden face instead of a solid answer.

These three words are always felt so exquisite to roll of my tongue, I always blush even just thinking about saying it to you, but I know, sooner or later it would have to be done, either out loud or just in a soft and shy whisper.

I love you and not because of your face at all, not once in my mind I take your handsomeness seriously. Why of course to me you are handsome, and adorable, and cute, and all, you get the point (gee, if you’re really reading this I can already imagine how wide a grin you’d have on your face) but no… I love you not for those reason.

I love you for being you, I love you for making me smile, for making me worry about you, for making me missing you, for making me loving you, I love you.

I love how you can make the problems feel less problematic and days are brighter and more colorful than they already are.

I love how childish you are that it match my personality so bad, I love how we both can manage to be childish and mature at the needed time.

I love how you can make me feel like a mother when you’re having your bad day and make me feel secured and comforted when bad things come to my life.

I love to know that now I have you to run to.

I am not one who say this out loud, but still I need you to know, I love you for who you are.

I love you for every little magic you do to me, the first time you stole the kiss from me, I knew right there and then what people called when the world stops turning and there was only two of us, for those milliseconds I was lost, thanks to you.

To think that the next kisses would be less special (because I thought I would just got used to it) was utterly wrong, might be one of the wrongest (not that I don’t know it’s not even a word) thoughts I’ve ever had, you have that addictive magical touch I can’t get enough of.

Because every single touch give me different sensations of butterflies doing some somersault, topsy-turvy acrobats in my stomach, crawling up to my chest and make my heart goes boom boom even with just the littlest little peck on the cheek (which you always, always, always steal every possible chance).

You may not be my first, or my last (though I pray hard for it because you’re such a keeper), but for the present time, let’s try our best being together, understanding each other, working the best out of us for being us.

I want to spend my days with you, just lazing around, watching random movies on DVD without really watching it because I’m pretty sure you’ll kiss me every now and then and make me forget about what we’re actually watching, not that I mind ;) your kisses are far more interesting than any movies I know anyway.

I want to dance to music and glide around the room, with hugs, little hugs, and tiny kisses and we’ll twirl and spin and dance and kiss until we’re both too dizzy to even stand, and I’m pretty sure we’ll laugh our heart out once we done (if not kissing some more).

I want to cook for you, just because I know you’ll sneakily hug me from behind and make cooking harder than usual, and I’ll enjoy it and we’ll have little dance in the kitchen and how the food will taste, or if it’ll be burnt will be the last thing I have in mind.

I want to have a walk around the city with you, or just walking with you anywhere, hand in hand, you and me, and that’s all that matters, talking, sharing each other stories of what happened, or just embracing the comfortable silence, although silence is never my favorite, nor yours. So we’ll have a chatty walk which I always adore.

I want to spend times with you, as long as possible, even when it’s you’re with your friends, doing your homework, or business, because watching you from my seat, adoring you doing things I didn’t really understand but growing familiar to is a fun little thing to do too.

At times, I still wonder if we’re really do together. This seems like one of the craziest things I’ve ever encountered in life. Two years ago, there was nothing, nothing at all between us, looking back to the old photographs, I didn’t even realize you were there.

I’ve never thought that one day I’d miss you as much as I’ve always been doing the days when you’re not around, never have thought I would have even think of writing this kind of post for you.

I love you can’t you tell? I’m so much in love with you I feel giddy just thinking about it.

I love you.

Where was I?

2010-06-05T00:52:00.000-07:00

Oh my God! I’m finally back! I don’t know how long has it been since the last time I typed a blog post using my dear pinky vaio laptop (which I call ‘Paping’ short of paio ping – lol, yes, what?)

Bad bad modem separated me from all of you here! :( anyway now I’m back so let’s move on. Lots of things happened during the time I was away… well, lots but not all that special. Hehe…

1. An old friend said she hates me for some reason I don’t know and she refused to tell either so I choose not to think about it.

Look, I’ve apologized, asked her multiple times what have I done wrong because I’m sure I did, and I need to know what is it so I can fix it later, so I won’t do it again in the future, right? No, she doesn’t tell me. Okay girl, hate me all you want, it’s your right. I’ve apologized and that’s my right.

I’ve done what has to be done, right?

2. As much as I want to not care about it, of course I do. It is not something I encounter everyday, someone declare hate to me, so for several good hours I was spaced out, trying hard to think what have I done wrong. It was not only the hate, or my mistake, but also her words.

Lucky now I have someone to run to, my dear Le Boy, he has no idea either, that’s not the point, when I asked him to amuse me, he really did. He sang to me a silly song from bread commercial and for the first time that day, I smiled. Oh my, he’s a keeper, isn’t he?

3. I’m thankful that by having someone hating me, I figured who loves me.

My friends, my cousin, they’re all helping me a lot going through the hardest time, their confused face when they ask “how can someone even hate you?” is such a compliment. I know I made lots of mistakes, and one or two can make someone just hate me easily, or annoyed at least. I’m not such a goodie-good anyway, I talk without much thinking and my comments are usually witty.

Anyway, I’ve moved on. She sometimes still do leave some harsh comment in twitter (without mention, of course), but like she had said to me, like I care…

It’s still such a sad thing, though. We were besties, and for some reason I don’t know we turned not that close either, she even hate me, oh my dear, hate is indeed a strong word. No, I don’t hate her, because I fully understand that I’ve most probably done something wrong, like really wrong and it hurt her heart, although I don’t know what it is.

All in all, days are good because I let myself see the good in life :) because then I have you all, my friends and my family, and of course having Le Boy as an addition to my days is such a fortune, he never fails to make me smile. Hehe…

I originally wanted to make it a post about Le Boy, but then I thought I would bore the hell out of you because looking back, it’s all about him! Haha… later, romance lover ;)

PS. and no, this girl who hates me isn't the same girl who's le boy's ex. no, of course not.

solved! :)

2010-05-25T15:43:00.001-07:00

thank you all who commented on the previous post! We're back okay now, well this was so far the longest time we didn't talk/text/chat one another, almost 18 hours, usually it only take few minutes and so I hope, 18 hours would be the longest ever.

Anyway if anyone still want to give some tricks or tips or something for me to remember when we quarrel again (i surely hope we won't do this often), you can always leave a comment in the previous post.

On a totally different note, my internet broke down, well the modem (again) it is, so here i am using my cellphone. So sorry for the short post and lack of pic, i just want to tell you that i'm still alive and we survived going through another bumpy road ;)

i love it when he calls me kiddo, lol.

what to do?

2010-05-25T01:51:00.001-07:00

a little about me and le boy; he's my bestfriend's ex.

Things getting more complicated when he got all so serious when my friend/his ex is involved. Well, she cheated on him so he's like... Say it, dislike her, or maybe is still angry.

Today, for the nth time, we got into a fight regarding this friend, maybe i'm the one in the wrong side...

All in all, i just want to ask, what do you do when you and your partner is in fight? How to make all things normal again? Just wait for them to calm down? Text them saying sorry? Or what? Grr...

Random Five

2010-05-16T06:19:00.000-07:00

I browsed around weheartit today and found some celeb pictures, here I am sharing you some of my favorites.

(1.)Hey Jude, why do I find it so hard to believe that he's 37 already? *sigh*

(2.) and...

(3.) It could've been a really happy ending, methinks.

(4.) Adorable! No? Hahaha...

(5.) I had hard time how to end this post, but I guess, this is equal happy ending? Hahaha...

Wait, this one's better!

Oh yes yes yes you are!

official

2010-05-12T08:34:00.000-07:00

so, it's official. We're officially official.

I mean, we've been acting like lovers, or couple for a while, like late night texting and sweet nothing mushy words and holding hands and cuddles and tiny little kisses, but still we were nothing.

The feelings we have for each other are obvious to one another, and we've talked about it for quite a several time already.

And finally today, he popped out the question.

Although I believe he knew what my answer would be like 100%

Holding hands aren't for nothing, looking straight to the eyes aren't either...

So he had asked and I've answered; yes.

The feeling is still raw, we're young and unexperienced, but it's a whole new start for me and him so wish us luck.

We're now officially together.

Congratulate me? Hahahahahahaha... I'm dizzy! I feel like dancing