Hello, dear lovelies!
Well, I've decided that instead of feeling blue, I will simply try my darndest to find a new fun job and keep being happy with land what little friends I have around me (including you, of course!). Well, sad to say that I haven't gotten a new, happier place to work, but at least I'm coping quite well. Not that I'm getting myself used to the uncomfortable place, rather, I channel my energy to focus on more positive things to pass the day, at least this way my days pass rather happily.
Also, to take a breath (and skip working, lol) once in a while when I feel like everything's too stuffy. Hehe~ not sure if it's a good thing to do but so far so good and I've done my job quite well so nobody complaints so yeah.
Anyway, I read somewhere yesterday on how to make yourself happier. Other than the famous "being thankful" and "smile to strangers" there is a quite new point, that is "to plan a trip". Why yes, that's exactly what's been making me happier these days, haha...
I've been lusting to go on a trip again, like gosh seriously, it's time to go out and about again! I need to jump in water and breathe fresh air and play in the sand and do some serious shopping spree and meet new people and eat delicious random food and have a random conversation and make new friends, alright?
So what I've been doing is seriously staring at my computer looking for the cheapest way possible to go to Thailand, because... I don't know, this year, it's time for Thailand (and maybe Japan)! And instead of the flashy Bangkok, I'm thinking of a more quiet Krabi, with all them beaches and yummy seafood... yeah yeah, sounds pretty nice, right? Now if only I can find the best price to go there. Well, it isn't really super-duper-expensive-I-can't-afford-it, it's just that I've seen my friends bought a far cheaper tickets so I'm kinda curious (and challenged) to find it too, lol.
See, something as simple as planning a trip is making me far happier than my last post, right? ;)
Jan 27, 2015
Jan 4, 2015
2015 started off quietly, and kind of nicely. But who am I kidding, only 5 days into the new year and I've already had a headache and this so-confused-and-tired-I-just-feel-like-breakdown-and-cry moment. I am sorry to post such a depressing blog post in a beginning of a new year where everything is supposed to be bright and cherry and filled with new hopes. But I guess maybe I'll just start this year with sorrowful and confused blog post, find a way to deal with it and leave everything behind, and fill the rest of the year with good things.
So what gives this depressing blog post? Uh, so here goes... something I've kept to myself (in the blogsphere, at least), I've been feeling uncomfortable in my work space, and have been looking for a new one so I can resign as soon as I can but have yet to get any call, which makes everything even more depressing. It feels like I'm losing a part of myself on daily basis, and that is not a good thing.
I would write a long rant about how I don't feel like growing here, or how I don't feel like anything, or that I simply dislike my boss(?) *he's not even my boss* but that would only bring more negativity... I mean, the fact that my other team-mates are already resigning speaks a lot, right?
I wonder if I should just go crazy and resign for the hell of it and be a jobless person and try to do business or something but of course I don't have the guts to do so (or do I?) because life isn't about sunshine and rainbows and unicorns but I sure do hope so.
Krissy wrote something about a dog sitting on a nail, kept sitting on it because it doesn't hurt enough yet. I remember this particular post clearly because I can totally relate to it, and I kept thinking about it, because it feels like I'm that dog right now and am whining and crying because I'm sitting on a nail. So why am I not moving away? Could it be because I am afraid I wouldn't get another seat? Or because I'm afraid of getting yet another painful nail to sit on? Or worse, have I became used to the pain? Why do I keep hurting myself?
Honestly, as I am writing this, I feel like crawling under my table and just cry because everything is so confusing and tiring, and I still can't find a way out yet. I don't know what do, not sure what I can do to make everything better, I'm just so.. lost.
Once again I'm really sorry to start the new year with a confused blog post, hopefully things will get better and brighter and I will find the answer I need soon.